The Quicksand of Fear and Financial Stress… And What to Do So It Doesn’t Pull You Down

“When your internal reference point is your spirit, when you are immune to criticism and unfearful of any challenge, you can harness the power of love, and use energy creatively for the experience of affluence and evolution.”

Deepak Chopra, The Seven Spiritual Laws of Success

Fear was my #1 issue during a personal growth session in 1991. It took us two hours to reveal what the particular fear was: everything! It took me years to recognize the insidious ways fear had molded my life since childhood.

Like attracts like. When the vibration of fear precedes actions, the results reflect that energy. What follows is lack; struggle; failure; disappointment; frustration; worry; anxiety; loss of business; financial hardship; and that dreadful fear of the future – “what if” things don’t work out and I face a fate worse than death?

Especially when I felt justified, being afraid was like adding sugar to yeast – “Just look at my circumstances. Anyone in them would feel this way.” Fear multiplied which attracted more things to be afraid about.

Once when my budget was screaming “ouch,” I feared missing a credit card payment. I knew someone this happened to, and her rates skyrocketed. My negative musings caused me unconsciously to pay my bill from an account where I don’t keep money… and I missed my payment.

My preoccupation with my imagined, financial ruin also had me overlook paying my water bill. I opened the top portion of a letter sent to alert me and set it aside thinking it was next month’s bill. Only minutes after coming home from burying my cat who died suddenly and discovering my water had been turned off did I see it was a disconnect notice.

I had the money, but I was so consumed with fearing future financial disasters that I created them!  As Job said, “For the thing which I greatly feared is come upon me, and that which I was afraid of is come unto me.”

You may have been pulled into the quicksand of fear. Once you start sliding down its slippery slope, every frantic breath has you descend into it more deeply.

My successes occurred when I let go of fear.

What is quicksand, and how does it work?

Quicksand is just a soupy mix of water trapped in ordinary sand that can’t escape, a liquefied soil that can’t support weight. It can occur almost anywhere if the right conditions are present. Contrary to being the frightening, bottomless pit portrayed in the movies, it rarely is deeper than a few feet.

Stepping into quicksand will not swallow you whole or suck you under, but thrashing about will force you deeper into it.
The more you struggle, the faster you sink.

Most people who drown in quicksand or in any liquid are those who panic and start flailing their arms and legs. However, it’s easier to break free of it than you may think.

To escape you have to stop fighting. Breathe. The key is not to panic.

The way out is to relax and make slow movements back to the surface.

Because your body is less dense than the quicksand, your body will float to the surface if you let go of the struggle and relax.

In fact, it’s easier to float on quicksand than on water. Once afloat, you can find your way back to safety.

Hmm, so similar to fear – how we drown in it and how we can escape its murky mud.

Edited excerpt from Soulgoals’ Archive posted on February 26, 2012

Tired of fighting your fears? If so, contact me to learn how at virginia@soulgoals.com

I help women to tune in to their true Selves, see life clearly, and live their personal and professional dreams.

Copyright © 2023 Soulgoals, All rights reserved.

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Where’s the Refresh Button for Your Life?

Wish you could redo parts of your life? 

• Have regrets?
• Feel bad about past choices or what others did?
• Discouraged, stuck or frustrated about things that haven’t been working?
• Holding on to beliefs about how you think life, others or you should be?
• What (or who) have you outgrown?

Do you sometimes wish that a genie would appear and magic wand away your fears, painful memories and thoughts, past actions and choices? If only you knew then what you know now.

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Perhaps you only need a change in attitude or perspective.
Another viewpoint can give you insights and direction.
Your next steps of what to do are always accessible.
Listen to your gut feelings and the quiet voice within.
Your answers will be revealed in divine right timing.
Your refresh button is within you.

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By the way, don’t think you’ve got to see the big picture and know all the pieces before taking action. You can start where you are and with what you know right now.

You can make change easy on yourself by using these five steps:

1. Be willing to consider a change. Willingness opens you to possibilities even if you’re not ready to commit to a change. This includes a change in attitude and the way you’ve always done things.
2. Take consistent action in your new direction. If you were to make a change, what action would you take? Do it. Then tune in to the next step and do that. Step-at-a-time is perfect – no pushing or rushing.
3. Get support from a friend or coach. Discussing possibilities and being heard can be powerful steps to clarity, action and change. Don’t listen to the naysayers, including that negative voice in your head.
4. Choose that the change and lessons learned be gentle. If you believe change is hard, it is. There are people who remain positive in the face of disaster. Set an intention to make changes with ease and grace. 
5. Breathe your way through it. Breathing deeply in a relaxed way puts you in divine flow instead of the flow of fear.

You can hit the refresh button of your life, and it will refresh if you are open to receive! How? Choose it.

Does this sound ridiculous? Impossible? Although it may seem farfetched at the moment that you making a choice could do anything, consider that you are that powerful! When you choose from your very Essence, not your doubting, weak, negative ego, so-called miracles can occur!

Experiment. Take a breath. Ask for… whatever you choose. Answers come in divine right timing.

Here’s a key. Open yourself to receive. If you resist that possibility, you close the door.

Give yourself a gift of a new beginning. Refresh your life. You have the power within to create positive changes with ease and grace and no drama.

Excerpt from a Soulgoals’ blog posted on March 15, 2011

www.Soulgoals.com

If you’d like help with a new perspective
so you break free to a new level of living, 
I can most assuredly offer many.
Contact me for a complimentary
Soulgoals’ Session at 
virginia@soulgoals.com

I work with people
who would enjoy a more fulfilling life,
choose to share their gifts
or business in a BIGGER way
but don’t know how, feel stuck
or would benefit from new tools
or support.

I help them be richly compensated
doing what they love by connecting
with their Soul’s goals.

www.Soulgoals.com

Copyright © 2022 Soulgoals, All rights reserved.

5 Steps to Make Change Easier

In this part of my dream, I was in a room filled with well-worn, cushioned, reclining chairs. I thought there was an available seat near a window that overlooked trees, but it was taken. In fact, every seat I could see was taken except for a too-small-for-me wooden chair at my side. I thought there might be a chair available on the other side of the smallish room. But if I left the wooden chair, someone else might take it, and I could be left with nothing. Then I woke up.

It’s a risk to let go of what’s available, even if it isn’t a fit, uncomfortable and too small. In my dream, there wasn’t a reason why I had to stay in that room, even if there wasn’t a place to sit on the other side.

I awoke knowing to let go of people, attitudes and situations that no longer fit the person I’ve become.

We often settle for things that don’t work when we feel that the familiar is safe and secure – or at least known. This may lead us to believe the unknown is risky.

However, nothing stays the same forever. Economies go up and down. People and work change. A seemingly stable Japan reeled with a massive earthquake, tsunami and nuclear explosions.

Pandemics, as rare as they are, shatter old routines so we learn and grow to meet the challenges… or not.

It reminds me of a woman who didn’t want to move because she enjoyed the companionship of a friend who lived nearby. Soon after, that friend sold her house and moved out of town.

Some are afraid of leaving a job that’s on a downward spiral. Others cling to non-supportive relationships. Some hold onto old business models.  

Is something really better than nothing? And who says that replacing something will leave you with nothing? Perhaps a newly created space of seeming nothing will lead to something even better.

While writing, I saw a client’s email that I saved three years ago:

I recently met a wonderful woman who was reduced to tears by “friends” she admired but had rejected her. My advice? Don’t waste your time. Look for WONDERFUL people who make you feel good. And focus on your wonderful self who is “crying” to be born and nurtured.

Spring and Easter are great times to resurrect anew, something even better.

Change is always for good. Something positive always emerges, regardless of appearances. But you don’t have to wait for a catastrophe to make a change.

What Have You Outgrown?

Are you discouraged, stuck or frustrated about something that hasn’t been working? Are you holding on to a belief about it? This may be the reason your life or business isn’t what you’d like it to be.

Perhaps you only need a change in attitude or perspective. Another viewpoint may reveal the solution.

By the way, don’t think you’ve got to see the big picture and know all the pieces before taking action. You can start where you are and with what you know right now.

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TIP: You’re always given your next step – listen within for what it is. You can prevent overwhelm by redirecting your focus on the present and doing one thing at a time.

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You can make change easy on yourself by using these five steps:

1. Be willing to consider a change. Willingness opens you to possibilities even if you’re not ready to commit to a change. 
2. Take consistent action in your new direction. If you were to make a change, what action would you take? Do it. Then tune in to the next step, and do that. 
3. Get support from a friend or a coach. Discussing possibilities and being heard can be powerful steps to clarity, action and change.
4. Choose that the change and lessons learned be gentle. If you believe change is hard, it is. There are people who remain positive even in the face of disaster. Set an intention to make changes with grace and ease.
5. Breathe your way through it. Breathing deeply in a relaxed way puts you in divine flow instead of the flow of fear.

Give yourself a gift of a new beginning. You have the power within to create changes without drama, with grace and ease.

Reposted from Soulgoals’ Blog March 15, 2011

If you’d like help in 
discovering why some aspect of
your life or business isn’t working,
what to do about it, and change it 
for the better,
contact me
for a complimentary
Do What You Love Break Free Session.

Email me at:
virginia@soulgoals.com

I work with people
who choose to share their gifts
or business in a BIGGER way
but don’t know how, feel stuck
or would benefit from new tools
or support.

I help them be richly compensated
doing what they love by discovering
their Soul’s goals.

Copyright © 2021 Soulgoals, All rights reserved.

Need Answers? Here’s How to Get Them.

During this time of challenges and changes, we can start to question. What’s happening to my life and the world? Am I on the right track? So many choices… what should I do?  Is there something for me to contribute, especially amidst such universal unrest? Is there a higher perspective to make sense of it all?

There are as many answers and opinions as there are people.

A key to life, though, is being able to listen to your Self – not your outer swirl of emotions or trying to fit into to others’ ideas about how you should live your life.

There is a way to be empowered by finding your own answers. The more you practice listening to your Self, the better you’re able to hear with clarity.

Here’s a repost from a Soulgoals’ Archive, April 29, 2011, that may help.

 

When something went wrong, my old response was to gasp and think: “Oh no. What am I going to do? I don’t know what to do.” I’d repeat it again and again – but I didn’t even realize I was saying it.

Next came the sickish anxiety in my gut. Fear clutched me like tentacles from a sci-fi film. Solutions had no way to penetrate that thick gunk of worry.

One afternoon, I discovered that I went over a credit card limit that day. All I could think about were the fees, marks on my credit report and a higher interest rate.

I noticed a broken record playing in my head. What was it? “What am I going to do? I don’t know what to do.”

Funny how that mantra sounded like my mother!

When I heard it, I changed my tune.

I said to myself, “There’s a part of me that doesn’t have a clue about what to do. There’s another part that knows. I ask my wise self to pop in an answer.”

I Got What I Asked For

After my request, I relaxed, let the situation go, and left for an appointment. As I walked to my car after my meeting, an idea popped in my head. Drive straight to the bank and pay the overage before the end of the business day.

When I did and the bank heard my concern, they also extended my credit limit. Problem solved; benefits gained.

Learning to relax and trust that all will be taken care of, no matter what, helps to wash away the goo of confusion. After all, if God takes care of the flowers and birds, surely you and I rate, too. But what about getting answers?

A theme found in several Biblical references offers age old wisdom.

Ask, and it shall be given to you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you.

Put These Together:  Don’t Worry.  Ask for Help.

Now, when I need answers, I place a simple request: POP IT IN.

For example, I’m writing and get stuck. What I used to do was:

• Whine: You know the mantra I used.
• Worry: “What if I don’t get an answer?”
• Get angry and complain: “I don’t have time for this.”
• Feel like a helpless victim: “Why is this happening to me?”

Now, I ask inwardly for help: “I need a headline. POP IT IN.”

The answer comes – either immediately or after it incubates for a while.

Prayers are always answered in divine right timing, Therefore, I let the concern go and do something else. This takes care of the seeking and knocking.

Taking action refocuses me. It helps me to detach from fixating on results and when they should arrive.

Easy. Simple. Clear.

Only Supportive Ideas Are Welcome.

By the way, if an unsupportive idea pops in your head, pop it out. It’s your head, so claim dominion of it. Don’t give your power away to negative thinking. You have the power to pop in or out what goes in it.

When those supportive ideas pop in, even if they’re a little outside-the-box, act on them. This is a key.

Remember, everything is given according to your belief. If you allow the possibility, this really works.

I invite you to experiment. Need answers? Relax and ask inwardly to “POP IT IN!”

 

 

Virginia Goszewska, the founder of Soulgoals, believes each person and business has a way to contribute to life. The coaching systems she developed that help people find clarity, take action and experience personal and professional success are based on decades of research and experience. As a regional manager with a worldwide, top ten, Inc. 500 company and at top-level executive positions of international corporations, Virginia received awards in sales, training, management and business development. From Southeast Asia to the United Kingdom, people around the world have benefited from her expert coaching, compassionate insights and common sense.

http://www.soulgoals.com

Virginia offers complimentary Break-Free sessions by phone, holds workshops, seminars, team building programs and is a keynote speaker. She can be contacted at virginia@soulgoals.com  or (512) 842-1231.

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Copyright © 2020 Soulgoals, All rights reserved.