Posts Tagged ‘Get Out of a Rut’

How to Skate Through Life… even in hard times

October 26, 2020

The Skating Minister by Henry Raeburn

Wouldn’t you rather skate through life than be burdened by it?

My dream this morning gave me a roadmap how.

Let’s say you wanted to ice skate in winter, but there wasn’t a place to do it.
However, you had a place where water could be added to create a pond.

So, you filled that space with an available water source.

Gave it time to freeze.

Now you can skate.

Makes sense. But what does this have to do with anything?

Where’s your focus?

Worrying about problems is how we might believe we’re being responsible, but that’s looking in the wrong direction for answers. Although habits can be hard to break, you do have other choices.

You could:

  • whine about not being able to skate because there isn’t a place to do it.
  • blame wildlife for drinking the water that could’ve frozen.
  • feel sorry for yourself or tell your story so others can feel sorry for you.

However, you still can’t skate if you choose any of these.

You can’t have a problem without already having the answer.
But, if you keep looking at the problem and feeling bad about it, you won’t see the solution!

You have a place within, at the core of who you are, that already has the solution – the space for the pond.

If you’re open to receive, your inner guidance will fill you with answers.

To continue with this metaphor, if you allow answers time to transform from fluid to solid, thoughts and feelings can materialize into solutions.

Here’s where Mastermind Principle #3 from my Soulgoals program comes in handy:

I trust my Self and listen to the voice within.

What if you stay loyal to the what-if-it-doesn’t-work thinking?

Results: Frustration, anger, blame, struggle, complications and disappointment. Same ole, same ole. Your focus is on what doesn’t work, so you magnetize more of the same. Success goes up and down like a seesaw.

Sound familiar?

What else you can do? How can you skate through life?


First step:  Notice how you greet situations.

Is it with fear, doubt, discouragement or other negative feelings?

Instead, focus on any positive experiences you’ve ever had about this.

If you don’t have one, imagine how you’d like it to be. 

Here are examples:

  • Before a sales presentation or any potentially challenging situation, remember ones that went great. It doesn’t matter if you’ve put your foot in your mouth a hundred times before. But if once, your long lost uncle bought a candy bar you were selling in grade school, and you felt happy, go to those thoughts and good feelings.
  • Feeling weak in the knees because you’re about to talk with someone? Instead, recall moments of empowering interactions.
  • If you’re used to feeling the other shoe is going to drop, feeling good may seem downright unnatural.  However, with practice and positive results, you’ll feel more comfortable.

Forget what you may have heard about doubting yourself. That was misery wanting company.

Feeling good IS your natural state. Enjoy skating.

Reposted from October 27, 2015

If you’d like help to live
an ideal life you’ve imagined,
(yes, it’s possible),

contact me at:
virginia@soulgoals.com

I work with people who choose to share
their gifts or business in a BIGGER way
but don’t know how, feel stuck or could 
use new tools or support.
I help them ignite their Soul’s goals
and be richly compensated doing what
they love.

Escape the Quicksand of Fear

September 21, 2020

Fear was my #1 issue during a personal growth session in 1991. It took us two hours to reveal what the particular fear was until I realized it was everything!

It took me years to recognize the insidious ways fear had molded my life since childhood.

Like attracts like, so when the vibration of fear precedes actions, the results reflect that energy. More things to fear.

What follows is lack; struggle; failure; disappointment; frustration; worry; anxiety; loss of business; financial hardship; and that dreadful fear of the future – “what if” things don’t work out and I face a fate worse than death?

Especially when I felt the fear was justified, being afraid grew exponentially; it was like adding sugar to yeast. “Just look at my circumstances. Anyone in them would feel this way.”

Once when my budget was screaming “ouch,” I feared missing a credit card payment. I knew someone this happened to, and her rates skyrocketed. My negative musings caused me unconsciously to pay my bill from an account where I don’t keep money… and I missed my payment.

My preoccupation with my imagined, financial ruin also had me overlook paying my water bill. I opened the top portion of a letter sent to alert me and set it aside thinking it was next month’s bill. Only after coming home from burying my cat who suddenly died and discovering my water had been turned off did I see it was a disconnect notice.

I had the money, but I was so consumed with fearing future disasters that I created them!  As Job said, “For the thing which I greatly feared is come upon me, and that which I was afraid of is come unto me.”

You may have been pulled into the quicksand of fear. Once you start sliding down its slippery slope, every frantic breath has you descend into it more deeply.

All my successes occurred when I let go of fear.

What is quicksand, and how does it work?

Quicksand is just a soupy mix of water trapped in ordinary sand that can’t escape. It’s a liquefied soil that can’t support weight. It can occur almost anywhere if the right conditions are present.

Contrary to being the frightening, bottomless pit portrayed in the movies, it rarely is deeper than a few feet.

Stepping into quicksand will not swallow you whole or suck you under, but thrashing about will force you deeper into it. The more you struggle, the faster you sink.

Most people who drown in quicksand or in any liquid are those who panic and start flailing their arms and legs. However, it’s easier to break free of it than you may think.

To escape you have to stop fighting. The key is not to panic.

The way out is to relax and make slow movements back to the surface. Because your body is less dense than the quicksand, you will float to the surface if you let go of the struggle and relax. In fact, it’s easier to float on quicksand than on water. Once afloat, you can find your way back to safety.

Hmm, so similar to fear – how we drown in it and how we can escape its murky mud.

Let go of struggling and relax!

Originally posted on February 26, 2012

 

If you’d like help escaping the quicksand in your life,
contact me at virginia@soulgoals.com

I work with people who choose to share
their gifts or business in a BIGGER way
but don’t know how, feel stuck or could 
use new tools or support.

I help them ignite their Soul’s goals
and be richly compensated doing what
they love.”

Escaping the Quicksand of Fear

January 20, 2020

Fear was my #1 issue during a personal growth session in 1991. It took us two hours to reveal what the particular fear was: everything! It took me years to recognize the insidious ways fear had molded my life since childhood.

Like attracts like. When the vibration of fear precedes actions, the results reflect that energy. What follows is lack; struggle; failure; disappointment; frustration; worry; anxiety; loss of business; financial hardship; and that dreadful fear of the future – “what if” things don’t work out and I face a fate worse than death?

Especially when I felt justified, being afraid was like adding sugar to yeast – “Just look at my circumstances. Anyone in them would feel this way.” Fear multiplied which attracted more things to be afraid about.

Once when my budget was screaming “ouch,” I feared missing a credit card payment. I knew someone this happened to, and her rates skyrocketed. My negative musings caused me unconsciously to pay my bill from an account where I don’t keep money… and I missed my payment.

My preoccupation with my imagined, financial ruin also had me overlook paying my water bill. I opened the top portion of a letter sent to alert me and set it aside thinking it was next month’s bill. Only minutes after coming home from burying my cat who suddenly died and discovering my water had been turned off did I see it was a disconnect notice.

I had the money, but I was so consumed with fearing future disasters that I created them!  As Job said, “For the thing which I greatly feared is come upon me, and that which I was afraid of is come unto me.”

You may have been pulled into the quicksand of fear. Once you start sliding  down its slippery slope, every frantic breath has you descend into it more deeply.

All my successes occurred when I let go of fear.

What is quicksand, and how does it work?

Quicksand is just a soupy mix of water trapped in ordinary sand that can’t escape, a liquefied soil that can’t support weight. It can occur almost anywhere if the right conditions are present. Contrary to being the frightening, bottomless pit portrayed in the movies, it rarely is deeper than a few feet.

Stepping into quicksand will not swallow you whole or suck you under, but thrashing about will force you deeper into it. The more you struggle, the faster you sink.

Most people who drown in quicksand or in any liquid are those who panic and start flailing their arms and legs. However, it’s easier to break free of it than you may think.

To escape you have to stop fighting. The key is not to panic.

The way out is to relax and make slow movements back to the surface.

Because your body is less dense than the quicksand, your body will float to the surface if you let go of the struggle and relax. In fact, it’s easier to float on quicksand than on water. Once afloat, you can find your way back to safety.

Hmm, so similar to fear – how we drown in it and how we can escape its murky mud.

Reprinted from Soulgoals’ Archive  posted on February 26, 2012

Tired of fighting your fears? If so, contact me for a Break-Free Session at virginia@soulgoals.com

I work with people who choose to share their gifts or business in a BIGGER way (or just feel better) but don’t know how, feel stuck or would benefit from new tools or support.
I help them be richly compensated by tuning into their Soul’s goals.

Copyright © 2020 Soulgoals, All rights reserved.

Stop Shoulding on Yourself

October 21, 2019

Have you ever had a deadline or goal but felt stuck and simply couldn’t take action? Maybe you were “shoulding” on yourself and immobilized from your mental tyranny.

In August 2001, every day for two weeks, I sat in front of my computer to write a seminar…and not one word came. Nothing.

I put so much pressure on myself that I stifled any creativity to write.

Eventually, I listened to what I was telling myself: I should’ve already done this, and I should’ve done it years ago.

I made peace with the situation by shifting my perspective from feeling “resistance is futile” to: I am where I am, and from here I will start.

Over the next four months I wrote a 60-page workbook… and then, because it became so big, I didn’t know what to do with it. After all of that work, it sat on a pile.

Fast forward seven years. I remembered the workbook when I discovered I didn’t like a manual for a four-day retreat I was to facilitate. Oh, did I mention it was less than a week away?

The workbook was a key for breakthroughs and fun throughout the event and saved me from being in another writing rut.

Retreat Workbook

TIP: Stop shoulding on yourself. Self-judgment holds you back. Like it or not, this is where you are, so make peace within by allowing you to be in the present moment.

When you accept yourself and your circumstance, you let go of the shoulds, pressure and negative self-talk.  Then any small step will get you started. When this happens, you get out of your rut and pave the way for momentum.

This is a reprint from July 2010

If you’d like support
to stop judging,
contact me
for a complimentary
Do What You Love Break Free Session.

If it’s been a while since you’ve had one,
you’re welcome to contact me again.

Email me at:
virginia@soulgoals.com

I work with people
who choose to share their gifts
or business in a BIGGER way
but don’t know how, feel stuck
or would benefit from new tools
or support.

I help them be richly compensated
doing what they love.

 

Copyright © 2019 Soulgoals, All rights reserved.