Archive for the ‘Confidence’ Category

Are Crazy People Taking Over Your Life?

September 18, 2017

 

 

Homer's scream

One afternoon, while on Broadway in midtown Manhattan, New York City, I walked a few people behind a man who was having an animated argument with someone. Speaking in a loud voice with gesticulating hands, I wondered who was the recipient of such a tirade.

It was just him battling with himself.

Someone and something really got to this guy, and he allowed it to drive him to act crazy.

Throughout your life, some people have done you wrong, and some may have gotten to you.

In the past (or maybe present), you’ve been:

  • abused, misused, ignored, rejected, undermined, betrayed, robbed, disappointed, manipulated, misunderstood, humiliated, put down or the focal point of someone’s greedy, crazy, unconscious, demeaning, insecure, unfair or malevolent intent.

Often the perpetrators have been those most trusted and least expected to turn on you, such as:

  • close friends, family, significant others, church members, neighbors, co-workers, clients, bosses or business associates.

The results may have left you feeling that you’ve lost:

  • hope, your confidence, your spark of life, your capacity to find joy, your ability to ever succeed again or even care about it, your connection to the universe or your faith in God.

“The most important question you can ever ask is if the world is a friendly place.”  Einstein


It’s a big question to ponder. Your answer determines if you’re going to let the crazies, past and present, or less-than-favorable circumstances get to you, and consequently, impede your ability to be open to the success and enjoyment you richly deserve.

Are you letting undesirable memories occupy your attention so much that you won’t allow yourself to see that the world is a friendly place?

Often we’re attached to how we expect people and things are supposed to be. When they go haywire, our ego/ brain loves to binge watch reruns of movies about our sad stories over and over again.

Instead, change the channel and focus on something in your life that works.

Relitigating your past by vacillating between trying to prove how you’re right and “how dare they” doesn’t help. Have you noticed? You won’t end up feeling better, and feeling good is important as it’s a key to attract success.

Personally, instead of letting go of my faith in life and humanity, I (eventually) learned to have greater discernment.

As Kenny Rogers sang in “The Gambler:”

You’ve got to know when to hold ’em

Know when to fold ’em

Know when to walk away

And know when to run.

Some people in my life who appeared to be helpful, trustworthy, supportive, emotionally healthy, well-meaning and even spiritually awake… I came to realize were toxic.

I could grumble about them incessantly, which I’ve done. I found it more useful, though, to see them as my teachers: learn my lessons, chalk it off to another life experience and move on.


It took me a while to see people for who they are, not for who I thought they were or wanted them to be.   


Here’s an interesting twist.

Underneath this crazymaking, there’s a whole lot of disapproval going on.

Sometimes the other person starts it, and we respond back with disapproval and judgment, or vice versa.

When we enmesh ourselves in disapproval energy, we give others the power to control our happiness — from complete strangers whose driving we don’t like to annoying people in our day-to-day lives.

When we expect others to behave or show up in a certain way so we can feel good about ourselves, in essence we’re saying:

You need to change so I don’t have to change. My caring about you is conditional. It’s dependent on you acting the way I think you should. Otherwise, I might feel that I’ve lost control.

When the awareness comes that we alone have control of our attitude, then we don’t need others to be different so we can feel good.

Of course, do what’s wise to take care of yourself, but you get to choose your attitude.

Energy changes when practicing this. The crazies start to evaporate from your life like the morning fog when the sun comes up.

Do you allow others to affect your psyche, your joy of living, your success, your ability to pick yourself up and start again regardless of whoever or whatever happened or is happening to you?

It’s your choice.

With gratitude,

Virginia

I work with people, at any age, who choose to share their gifts or business in a BIGGER way but don’t know how, feel stuck or would benefit from new tools or support. I help them be richly compensated doing what they love by aligning with their Soul’s goals.  

Copyright © 2017 Resolved for Results, All rights reserved.

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Are Others Affecting How Much Money You Make?

July 17, 2017

A client’s business was doing great when suddenly her success screeched to a halt with only one completed transaction in nearly six months!

Being someone who looks on the positive side, she regularly reported having several deals that were pending or appeared to be sure bets. However, it turned out that each one fell apart for one reason or another.

To top it off, she gave several, well-received marketing presentations that were supposed to bring referrals, but that didn’t work out.

While talking about it during a 1:1 session, she connected the dots.

Her momentum stopped the same month she became the leader of a service group that helps people who are, shall I say, challenged in their housing situations.

In addition to their poverty thinking, she noticed that when her group is together, their conversations drift into drama about their lives.

Add to this a new boss who complains a lot, which motivates my client to schedule appointments so she and her manager are together in the office as little as possible.

At the end of our session together, she realized she had to take better care of her energy.

Three days later during her mastermind team meeting by phone, she shared the following.

Instead of driving with others to do their charitable work, and thinking about butterflies and rainbows to tune out their whining, she took care of herself by driving her own car.

She said, “We have to guard our energy as if our life depends on it, because it does.”

The following day, only four days after her aha moments and after months of setbacks, I received her enthusiastic voicemail.

“I want to let you know it has been a fantastic, fantastic day.”

  • “I met a client last night after we got off our call. He submitted all his documentation immediately, and he’s ready for approval.”
  • Another client of hers had a significant issue that miraculously got resolved, so his deal is moving along.
  • Another woman’s deal is now in the process of closing, too.
  • Plus, she received a call to present to 35 professionals in her target market.

She ignited her momentum by releasing other people’s negative energy and being more attentive to taking care of her own.

Her mastermind team member commented, “The energy of others weaves its way into our lives.”

Wallace D. Wattles wrote in his classic book The Science of Getting Rich, “Get rich; that is the best way you can help the poor. And you cannot hold the mental image which is to make you rich if you fill your mind with pictures of poverty.”

Poverty can come in many forms, such as money, spirit, focus, associations, confidence and beliefs.

Pay attention to the energy others are weaving in your life. How can you take better care of your energy? What unseen energy of others might be taking a toll on you and your finances?

Wondering what to do about it? Ask your Essence. It has your “soulution.”  

With gratitude,

Virginia

P.S. Know someone who might enjoy reading this? Please forward.

I work with people, at any age, who choose to share their gifts or business in a BIGGER way but don’t know how, feel stuck or would benefit from new tools or support.
I help them be richly compensated doing what they love by aligning with their Soul’s goals.

TIP: My First Drag Show

July 5, 2016

IMG_3494

 

I didn’t know what to expect at my first drag show. What I found were three women who love entertaining and what they do while letting the audience join in on the fun.

What a weekend to be free to be yourself as the USA celebrated our national Independence Day of freedom.

Freedom for what? Freedom to enjoy barbecues. Freedom to do whatever we want as long as we’re not interfering with others. Freedom of speech. Freedom to be who we are – whatever that means.

Freedom to express ourselves.

Some feel you should have freedom so you can think they way they do, but that’s not true freedom.

While watching the show, I thought about how these who were men at birth considered their gender identity and made a decision. They chose to align their outer lives with what they felt within.

Imagine that. Living true to you. Doing what you love instead of what’s expected or feeling stuck.

These women found freedom from judgments, the risk of disappointing others and what some feel they should be.

They do what it takes to be in alignment with themselves in spite of the inconvenience and expense of surgery, hormone injections and more.

They stopped hiding and instead revel in their difference – even capitalize on it.

If they can live true to themselves and their dreams, why not you?

If they can overcome society’s opinions and turn it into an art form, what’s stopping you?

What’s holding you back from really expressing yourself and your gifts?

Why not really show up for who you are, shine and play big?

What excuse is so big that you can’t find a way?

Some hold back, question themselves, play weak, and hesitate when opportunities to break free present themselves.

Some come up with seemingly logical reasons (busy schedules, money, family, health, not the right time) why they can’t move forward on living their dreams. Because they buy into their stories, they think others believe their limited beliefs, too. But they’re just keeping themselves back from greater freedom.

Some are afraid of living, really living life to the fullest, and don’t believe in themselves and that they can do it.

Some are afraid of possible pain and discouragement – projecting the past onto the future.

Others are afraid of getting hurt, rejected or exhausted from trying – what if one more thing doesn’t work?

This is how the ego works – it tricks you into thinking you’re playing it safe by keeping you in status quo or worse – sliding backwards.

You are much greater than this. You have everything it takes to tune into who you are, share your gifts with the world and be richly compensated doing what you love.

Your TIP is to express yourself with no limit and live your destiny, not someone else’s, NOW.

You can make a decision to be alive and awake in this moment – not live in past regrets or fear of the future.

You can make a decision to take action now and not put off your freedom to be the greatest you that you can be.

You can decide there’s no better time to do what you love rather than put it off for some better time that never comes.

Or if it does, you find another excuse to put it off.

You can make a stand for YOU to express the you that’s been hiding out. You can do what you love and let go of the seemingly rational excuses and procrastination that keep you stuck.

You can tap into your courage with confidence and claim your freedom to express who you are and live your dreams.

You do have a choice.

There’s no better time than now.

Happy freedom and independence to you.

TIP: A Shortcut to Success

March 16, 2016
ford-and-edison

Thomas Edison & Henry Ford

 

Be sure to scroll to the bottom about a time-sensitive opening.

Would you love to benefit from a phenomenal shortcut that boosts creativity and success and has been used regularly by icons like Henry Ford, Thomas Edison, Benjamin Franklin, J.R.R. Tolkien and Bill Gates?

I just got off a Mastermind Success Team call with graduates from my Resolved for Results program. This is not your typical mastermind team of brainstorming and accountability.

Our intention is to use our clarity and focus to tap into a vortex of energy that manifests success surpassing our wildest dreams.

Those on this morning’s call with their new team are movers and shakers in diverse industries… and the vortex of dynamic energy we created was palpable, filled with respect and appreciation for each other as we shared this remarkable experience together. You’ll read their comments in a moment.

First, if you’re wondering what I mean by masterminding, here’s an excerpt from my program Resolved for Results: A Step-by-Step Guide to Do What You Love… even if you failed before, lost hope, are afraid, stressed or confused.

Napoleon Hill introduced the term masterminding in the early 1900s in his classic book Think and Grow Rich as ‘the coordination of knowledge and effort, in a spirit of harmony, between two or more people for the attainment of a definite purpose... No two minds ever come together without thereby creating a third, invisible intangible force,  which may be likened to a third mind.

“You’ve heard how most people use 10% or less of their brain. Similarly, you only require less than 10% of your spirit to function in your daily life.

Masterminding invokes the soul, which is 100% of your spirit, to assist you to design a life of your choice.  Multiply this by the number of people in a harmonious mastermind group and place the Prime Creator at the center.

This is the mastermind energy.  ….  It’s no surprise, then, that the mastermind creates results beyond what you can do using just 10% or less of ordinary thinking and effort.”

Here are a few comments resulting from bathing in the vortex of mastermind energy this morning. If you tune into the energy behind the words, it can lift you out of feeling stuck and into creative power where you allow yourself to be richly compensated doing what you love:

  • I could feel and see my goals happening. I got a boost of energy and confidence to say, “Yes. Fulfilling my dream is right and the right time to do this.” I’m speechless. It’s an amazing feeling.
  • Business can be a struggle because of the drama created that’s part of my industry. It’s natural for me now to create the business volume I choose with certainty and joy.
  • Love the small, intimate group with people who have a personal foundation which includes dignity, grace, professionalism and an intention of getting things done. It makes our time on the call very efficient with a minimum of fluff.
  • Knowing other people believe in me gives me confidence to move forward. Here I go. Taking a big step together makes it easier. I’m not so alone.
  • We can manifest our dreams and turn them into reality – it’s up to us.

TIP: A Shortcut to Success

For you to create greater success in your business and life requires your focused attention and what I call “good feeling mojo.” Good energy creates success!

Your thoughts and feelings magnetize results… positive or negative. If you’re wondering what you’re attracting, look around you. If you’re frustrated, depressed, worried, stressed, afraid or wondering how you’re going to do something, your world will reflect that and bring you more reasons to feel the way you do.

When your attention is on what’s working, the positive image of where you’re going and the good feelings it creates opens you to success quickly and with grace and ease.

Jim Rohn said, “You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.”

Form or find a mastermind group of two or more people to gain clarity and focus on turning your cherished dreams and goals to reality.

Isn’t it time you received effective supportive energy to help you get what you really, really want?

A new Resolved for Results mastermind team starts next week, and we have two openings for you and/or your friends. The program also includes a personal Belief Release session as a bonus! 

If you know people who might be interested in raising their business or creative expression to a higher level and transforming their lives, please forward this email to them.

To find out more, contact me with questions or for a free, one-hour Do What You Love Break Free Session at vg@ResolvedForResults.com.

Don’t Quit

February 2, 2016

miracle don't give up

 

Ever get discouraged because you feel like your sinking in quicksand of what you don’t want? Or maybe you long to be richly compensated doing what you love but don’t know how to do it, and you feel like giving up. Beyond trying to figure it out and coming up empty, know that there’s always a way out.

Often the answer is found by not trying so hard and letting go. When you stop trying to control and force things to happen, life has a way of presenting ideas and opportunities beyond what you could imagine.

To help you create the good feeling mojo that provides fuel to propel you to success, here’s an excerpt from the manual of my program Resolved for Results: A Step-by-Step Guide to Live Your Dreams… even if you failed before, lost hope, are afraid, stressed or confused.

There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle.  Richard Crashaw, 17th century English poet

What is a miracle? A miracle is a positive outcome that you didn’t anticipate.  It’s when you have no idea how things can work out, and then they do. It’s when results defy logic, and the impossible occurs. It’s when you’re touched by grace.

Miracles compel you to expand your consciousness and go beyond what you think is possible. They are reminders to trust in a friendly and supportive universe that assists you to create your life of choice.

A business woman was shocked during her masterminding group session. She received an email to repay a loan years ahead of schedule at $300 a month… and three days later a couple decided to tithe her $300 monthly because of the nourishment they received from her facility and work!

Shick’s Law says: There’s no problem a good miracle can’t solve.

TIP: Don’t Quit!

When you feel you’re not enough, you don’t believe you deserve what you choose.  You may give positive lip service, but underneath you question yourself. Then you try to justify your worth in convoluted ways, sometimes by giving up.

To allow miracles in your life, some part of you has to be open to them.

To open to them, it helps to feel good enough about yourself and life.

Listen to your inner chatter.  What do you tell yourself during idle moments or when you feel self-doubt? Can you trace the roots to “not enough”?

Not enough and low self-esteem are universally the #1 issues. Start by choosing to let them go. Journal to gain better insight.

Research shows the more attempts made to stop a habit, the greater likelihood the habit will be broken. Don’t give up on breaking a habit because earlier attempts failed. Don’t give up on yourself because of your past. You have the power to create new pathways for your life. Don’t quit.

If you’d like clarity and support, contact me for a free, 60-minute Do What You Love Break Free Session by phone at vg@ResolvedForResults.com

THE CAT (LITTER) BURGLAR!

November 2, 2013

??????????Let’s say you’re a cat.  Like a good kitty, you do your duty in a litter box and then leave to do other important cat business – like sleep. Later, as nature demands, you return to the box, and your signature kitty bon bons are gone! You might think someone stole my poop. From your human servants’ point of view, they’re doing their duty by removing yours.

Life. Are you living it or is it a living hell? It depends on your perspective.

In the past, I embraced a popular belief: you spot it; you got it. Aka: if you point your finger at someone, there are three fingers pointing back at you. While this is often true, it’s hard to believe an infinite God has limited life to only one reason for why all things happen.

I used to psyche myself out when I believed everything is a reflection of me. When street lights flickered as I walked by, I thought my inner light was on the fritz, and my self-confidence fluttered.  After discussing this with a mentor, he pointed out that the world doesn’t revolve around me.

Wiser, when this phenomena happened again, I noticed that street light poles have numbers and reported those that needed new bulbs.

This awakening may be a relief, especially for those in abusive relationships searching for how they’re a schmuck, too. The lesson may be that you’re not a sicko. The cad may be teaching you to find your inner cojones and not allow others to manipulate you into feeling inferior because of their controlling tactics.

It also works when people phone and assume you have a responsibility to listen to their incessant fears or problems.

When it becomes evident they want an audience and someone to rescue them from their own negativity instead of changing, it’s not a lack of compassion to cancel membership from the Dump-of-Collecting-Others’-Pain Club. I mean, would you open the door to your home to let someone unload their garbage? Why allow others to dump their emotional junk… except fear of their reaction that there’s something wrong with you?

Here’s a perspective:

If you think you’re usually the one who’s wrong, it’s probably them.

If you think others are usually the ones who are wrong, it’s probably you.

How’s your perspective working for you? Don’t let your beliefs or others’ opinions deter you from trusting your inner voice and truth. Then again, if you think the world centers around you, you won’t really care.

YOU KNOW MORE THAN YOU THINK

November 29, 2012

You’re programmed for low self-esteem and to give away your power. Not just you. Everyone’s brainwashed living in their own hypnotic trance. Part of the gig on earth is to snap out of it.

It starts innocently enough with directives like “draw inside the lines.” We obediently follow to fit in. That’s the hook. Fit in to survive. I mean, how else can a little kid make it in this world without going along with family and society’s customs – even if they’re wacky and don’t make sense?

Did you hear this? “When you’re under my roof, you’ll do what I say.” Then, miraculously, when you move out you turn on a switch and think for yourself. More likely, the programmed voice in your head continues until you realize it’s an old recording.

Myths start early. Do you know any people who stepped on a crack on a sidewalk and broke their mother’s back?

How about obeying authority figures? If doctors or others recommend flu shots or anything they think you should do and doubt your sanity if you decline, do you give your power away by going along because “they” know better, everybody does it,  or you don’t like conflict?

Maybe you journeyed into alternative remedies. Do you give your power away to holistic professionals, stones, pills or potions to heal you or so you can revel in eternal youth?

Consider that any healing starts within and radiates to your thoughts, feelings and physical body.

When this current travels inside to out, whatever you use externally can truly work. Otherwise, you’re giving your power away to something outside of you but feeling clever, at least for as long as the “healing” sticks.

Step back from your emotions, opinions, the way you’ve always seen things, knee jerk reactions, fear, anger, stress, anxiety, and worry. Let’s go deeper.

Your association with a product, technique, love-of-your-life or belief alters how you feel, and you respond like a tuning fork resonating with a frequency. Nevertheless, only YOU can maintain that vibration with your thoughts, attitudes, perspectives and feelings. It may be easier to stay in tune with consistent contact. But, if you’re looking for the fountain of youth, even plastic surgery won’t help if bitterness replaced a young-at-heart attitude.

For whatever you seek, God, the Infinite Source, is your supply.

You have the power NOW to create what you choose. Awaken to this, and you attract supportive people, circumstances, and things.

Everything is given according to your belief. By connecting to the remembrance within that you’re made in the image and likeness of God, you can realize you are way more than enough. (Otherwise God would be a slouch, and that just ain’t true. Excuse me, God. Just sayin’.) The more you believe and align with this, the more you’re in divine flow and row, row, rowing down the stream.

Life can provide evidence to prove the opposite, too. However, believing you’re a helpless slug slithering over the soil leaves a slimy shadow.

The reason people are able to create miracles is they ask for them, believe, are open to receive, and have faith and confidence life will provide.

Me? I got a Ph.D. in 11th hour saves. Why? Because it took me that long to let go and trust. I used worry as a strategy. Spoiler alert: worry only makes things worse.

Strong emotional reactions skew perspective, too. By the way, they have nothing to do with what you think you’re upset about. They’re often from unresolved pain or the irritation of having given away your power. Blaming others is giving your power away, too. Take responsibility. Look deeper.

Everyone has childhood experiences where fear ruled. My highly charged, emotional upbringing with screaming parents introduced me to fear as my companion. Like holding onto a childhood blanket, I continued the legacy of anxiety into adulthood by attracting stressful situations. It really didn’t matter what it was: health; relationships; financial; whatever. As long as something went wrong, I could feel that ole, familiar, sickening dread.  Like everyone else, I have stuff to deal with, but I’m not entertaining the emotions of fear-worry-stress as houseguests anymore.

What emotional instant replays do you have?

What emotions do you usually feel when you’re down for the count? Awareness leads to freedom.

Instead of automatically giving your power to an emotion, your taste buds, the next shiny object, any member of genus Homo sapiens, the internet, a calendar date, scientists, politicians or habits, take a deep breath and question. Question everything, including cherished beliefs. What’s the truth underneath? Find quiet time and journal. Amazing insights emerge, and your self-confidence rises.

You’re not alone in this process. You know the rug that stuff got swept under? Life is forcing everyone to clear out those dust bunnies and move on.

Make a clean sweep by seeing through illusions and making empowering choices. It’s never too late.

In the words of Dr. Benjamin Spock, “Trust yourself. You know more than you think you do.”