Posts Tagged ‘Believe in yourself’

Guilt, Know-It-Alls, Being #1 and Challenging Times

May 11, 2020

Wire

Are you in a self-imposed prison with freedom in view?

 

Feeling guilty had been drilled into her by her family throughout her life.

It was a way others could control her. If they could disempower her through feeling guilty, she could kowtow to their ways and do and be what they wanted.

Because she was used to feeling guilty, especially when my client became #1 in her territory, business associates and family triggered those familiar feelings.

She felt that she was doing something wrong by being successful.


Unconsciously, here’s the message others sent: if I make you doubt yourself or feel bad about yourself, I’ll bring you down to a place where your success no longer makes me feel uncomfortable. Who do you think you are? What’s wrong with you? Be more like me… and whine about how life’s unfair.


People in her family had jobs. Furthermore, what’s a woman doing being successful and making more money than them, especially in her own business?! They had to work hard in their employment; why should she be any different?

Not feeling good about the price she paid for her success (she received negative input from others), her sales slipped. A part of her was trying to stop being a target that resulted in guilty feelings.

She didn’t realize it was their own jealousy, insecurity, a need to control and their fear and disappointment in themselves for not going after their dreams that were the underlying culprits of others’ manipulative behaviors.

Ever hear of the lobster syndrome or the crab mentality?

When either of these is alone in a lidless container, it can escape.

However, when sharing their enclosure, none can get out because they will be pulled back down, even into boiling water.

In society or business, this can happen when people are bettering themselves and others try to bring them down.

How can they do that? Through guilt, fear, anger, making others feel they’re doing something wrong, shunning, shaming and the threat of being ostracized if they don’t fit in with the community.

Some religions exert control by indoctrinating their followers with the fear of damnation or how their future lives will be affected.

Previously, my client couldn’t stay away from her cell phone out of a concern of missing calls from prospective customers. Her belief was that working hard is the road to success.

So when she fulfilled her goal of a five-week vacation, and still remained #1, it was at the expense of others’ disparaging remarks.

Even though at the top of her game and years away from what most consider retirement age, she couldn’t stop thinking about leaving the business world behind.

She told me about a close friend and business associate. “There’s something about him lately that rubs me the wrong way – so I’ve distanced myself — although we’re working on a deal together. With him, it’s a debate or he knows some expertise about things. He’s done and knows everything.”

She was exhausted by critical people: if it’s not done their way, then in their way of looking at things, it’s being done wrong.

“Because I am surrounded by that thinking and attitude, my cup runneth over with this. My response is to disassociate with people who have these behaviors.”

When I asked where she’s seen those patterns before in childhood, she recalled that her mother and brother had the same habit of being critical know-it-alls. Both parents ruled by creating guilt in others.

We discussed that no matter where you go, there you are. If she continued to react, she’d attract more people who would act the same, wherever she went.

She realized that unless she changed, even if she left her business, she’d continue to run into similar, annoying behaviors from others.


Programmed from childhood, traits like lack of confidence, guilt and worry can prompt you to continue brainwashing yourself with limiting beliefs, even when those who put these ideas in your head aren’t around. 

Don’t listen to your inner, critical voice that bullies you and makes you question your ability to succeed or be happy. It lies.

That nagging voice reflects how the people who told you that nonsense feel about themselves. It’s not about you.

Your true essence guides you with a kind, non-judgmental and supportive voice.


Her insight: this coaching session made her step back and look at the bigger picture.

She realized that she won’t be affected by others when she has a different perspective. And when her buttons are no longer pushed, she won’t attract people who think like that.

By the way, she’s back to being #1 and having her best year ever. Life is more fun, and she feels free now that she no longer reacts to guilt trips and know-it-alls in the way she did before.

You can step out of your self-imposed prison of any limiting beliefs, even if you don’t know what’s holding you back.

Start by having confidence that believing in yourself brings.

Remember, those voices to the contrary are figments of someone else’s imagination that they projected on you.

There are many ways you can feel imprisoned, especially during a pandemic.

But good things can emerge during challenging times.

Freedom and success are yours if you’re open to receive them.

Make the most of this moment. Isolation can give birth to unimaginable heights.


You think you’re challenged? Look at Nelson Mandela’s life (1918 – 2013; passed away at 95):

  • Mandela, as a young lawyer, joined the African National Congress (ANC) in 1944 to advocate for an end to South African apartheid, an oppressive system of government built on racial segregation. 
  • In 1963, he and other cohorts were sentenced to life in prison.
  • He spent 18 years in the cell, seen above, that was 43 square feet.
  • The floor was his bed, and he used a bucket for a toilet.
  • He was forced to do hard labor in a quarry.
  • He was allowed one visitor a year for 30 minutes.
  • He could write and receive one letter every six months.
  • In 1990, having served 27 years in prison, he was released by South African President de Klerk.
  • In 1993, he won the Nobel Peace Prize with de Klerk.
  • Mandela became president of South Africa in 1994.

 

P.S. Know someone who might benefit from this post? Please share.

Think about you on the other side of the pandemic.
Can you see that you’re no longer willing
to put up with the old way you’ve been doing things?
Do you know you can consciously create your life?
If you’d like to learn about a complimentary session so 
you can start fresh, contact me at

virginia@soulgoals.com

http://www.soulgoals.com

I work with people
who choose to share their gifts
or business in a BIGGER way
but don’t know how, feel stuck
or would benefit from new tools
or support.

I help them be richly compensated
doing what they love by aligning
with their Soul’s goals.

Updated from Soulgoals’ Archives posted on November 6, 2017

 

Copyright © 2020 Soulgoals, All rights reserved.

TIP: Going in 2 Directions Takes You Nowhere

December 9, 2019

pigpen1

Arms outstretched with people gently pulling from either side, participants of my workshop this weekend felt what it’s like to go in opposite directions.

The results: they swayed a bit to the left and right, but stayed in the same position, going nowhere.

Your contradictory thoughts can keep you stuck, a part of you wants to go forward while another holds you back.

For example:

You choose success, but there are those pesky, opposing thoughts.

  • You worry about things, like what if you don’t succeed. Remember how things didn’t work out before and how disappointed you felt? Maybe people who pointed out your limitations were right. And who are you to make more money than your parents?
  • Better play it safe. Save yourself from discouragement. You long for better, but your thoughts keep you where you are.

You choose to be in a relationship, but…

  • Oh, get real. They start out great, and then they’re more trouble than they’re worth. Look at your history. However, you feel desperate for a loving partner. But if you haven’t found “the one” by now, it’s too late. They probably won’t like the way you look, anyway.
  • Even if you meet Mr. or Ms. Right, it might not go anywhere with attitudes like these or the relationship you’re in remains unsatisfying.

When your energy goes in opposite directions:

  1. You feel discouraged, and your confidence wanes. Then you don’t have what it takes to share your gifts or business in a bigger way.
  2. Your energy is like Pigpen from the Charlie Brown comics, who’s pictured above. Your doubt and low self-opinion swirl around you. People can feel it, which motivates them to run in the other direction.

Your TIP is to focus on one direction by believing in yourself, your dreams, your goals.

On average, people only access 10% of who they are. That’s the personality seen in everyday life that’s filled with doubts and negativity.

Choose to tap into the rest of you, the 90% that’s your inner Self, and you’re unlimited!

Ask, right now, for 100% of you to be present, and your life begins to be on track to be happier, more focused, single-minded, Soul-directed.

It takes practice, especially if you’re in the habit of complaining about others, your past or current conditions. Nonetheless, you can align more and more with your inner Self.

With empowered energy, you can go where you choose or someplace better!

 Reprinted from post on December 13, 2016

I work with people who long to share their gifts or business in a BIGGER way but don’t know how or feel stuck. I help them ignite their Soul’s goals and be richly compensated doing what they love.

For greater clarity and direction, contact me for a complimentary Do What You Love Break-Free Session at virginia@soulgoals.com

 

Who Do You Believe More – You or Others? 

November 13, 2017

break free - believe

Recently while flying, I sat next to a woman who was miserable and distraught because she needed to change, but she didn’t know how or what to do. 

A junk business was dumped on her that she had no interest in but had to run for the last five years. She wanted out of a long-term, unhappy marriage where most of their time was spent fighting. Before our conversation, she had zero clarity of direction and no idea at all what to do for income if she left. Plus, they had so much debt that she felt trapped with few options available.

It soon became obvious how she cornered herself. She had a multitude of flawed beliefs that she clung to and wasn’t open to seeing other perspectives… even though these ideas were holding her back!

She was adamant that she couldn’t believe in herself because she, like all people, are transgressors, and her head was filled with negative self-talk.

I asked her if she couldn’t believe in herself, how would she be able to trust what God wanted her to do? She was the one who was listening and watching for a sign, and she proclaimed herself to be untrustworthy.

She lived in fear, unhappiness, frustration, confusion and hopelessness. Her hamster-wheel thinking lacked clarity, and her life mirrored her misguided notions.

Society grooms us not to trust or believe in ourselves. Instead, we’ve been trained in self-doubt and to believe we’re wrong.

We’ve been taught to elevate the opinion of others and feel helpless compared to the power of spiritual forces, experts, leaders, books, spouses, family, friends, bosses, teachers, doctors, world events and even TV commercials.

However, if we don’t learn to trust and believe in ourselves, we’ll be at the mercy of the whims and, very often, limited ideas of others.



If you think there’s something wrong with you, you’ll attract experiences to validate that your beliefs are true.

If you shift your perspective to see yourself as a divine child of God or the holy spirit, or a child of an unlimited universe, you open yourself to receive greater abundance, success, love, happiness and health. 

97% of human bodies are made of stardust, and an analysis of over 150,000 stars in our Milky Way galaxy proved this is literally true.

The Crosby, Stills & Nash song was right: “We are stardust, we are golden. We are billion year old carbon.”

So stop making yourself small. Your heritage is divinely celestial! 

If you don’t believe in you, why should anyone else?

If you don’t believe in you, how will you be able to tune in to your inner guidance, the sweet whispers of direction from within? How will you be able to distinguish it from the nagging voice in your head of fear, worry, doubt and self-belittlement?

If you’re waiting for others, many who live by flawed beliefs, to recognize your worth, you may be better served by going within to recognize your value.

If others don’t believe in themselves, they aren’t capable of fully believing in you.


Be vigilant about how you picture yourself.

Do you see yourself as not good enough? Can you see how your life would change if you believed you have access to infinite possibilities, even if you don’t have a clue as to how to manifest them?

Right now, breathe and take a moment for yourself. Breathe and go beyond the chatter of others and your thoughts.

The more you practice this, the more you’ll discover your self-worth and that you are deeply loved.

When you tap into this essence of you, you’ll feel good about yourself.

When you feel good about yourself, you open to receive abundance and success as you go beyond lack– lack of love, money, time, health, business, fun, acceptance, respect and happiness.

And you believe in you!

This is why I created the Liberation of Lunacy (LoL technique), because when the ego is in charge, and limiting beliefs only come from the ego, we’re all a little bit crazy.

When your ego is in charge, you can’t see a way out.

When your essence is in charge, you tap into an infinite source within. You trust and believe in yourself.

You’re golden.

P.S. Know someone who might enjoy this post? Please share.


I work with people, at any age,
who choose to share their gifts
or business in a BIGGER way
but don’t know how, feel stuck
or would benefit from new tools
or support.

I help them be richly compensated
doing what they love by aligning
with their Soul’s goals.

Guilt, Know-It-Alls & Being #1

November 6, 2017

Wire

Are you in a self-imposed prison with freedom in view?

 

Feeling guilty had been drilled into her by her family throughout her life.

When my client was at the top, business associates and family triggered these guilty feelings by their passive-aggressive behaviors. She felt like she was doing something wrong.

Not feeling good about the price she paid for her success, her sales slipped.

People in her family had jobs. Furthermore, what’s a woman doing being successful, especially in her own business?! They had to work hard in their employment; why should she be any different?

She didn’t realize it was their own jealousy, insecurity, a need to control and their disappointment in themselves for not going after their dreams that were the underlying culprits of others’ manipulative behaviors.

Ever hear of the lobster syndrome or the crab mentality?

When either of these is alone in a lidless container, it can escape.

However, when sharing their enclosure, none can get out because they will be pulled back down, even into boiling water.

In society or business, this can happen when people are bettering themselves, and others try to bring them down.

How can they do that? Through guilt, fear, making others feel they’re doing something wrong, shunning, shaming and the threat of being ostracized if they don’t fit in with the community.

Some religions exert control by indoctrinating their followers with the fear of damnation or how their future lives will be affected.

Previously, my client couldn’t stay away from her cell phone out of fear of missing calls from prospective customers. Working hard is acceptable as a road to success.

So when she fulfilled her goal of a five-week vacation, and still remained #1, it was at the expense of others’ disparaging remarks.

Even though at the top of her game and years away from what most consider retirement age, she couldn’t stop thinking about leaving the business world behind.

She told me about a close friend and business associate. “There’s something about him lately that rubs me the wrong way – so I’ve distanced myself — although we’re working on a deal together. With him, it’s a debate or he knows some expertise about things. He’s done and knows everything.”

She was exhausted by critical people: if it’s not done their way, then in their way of looking at things, it’s being done wrong.

“Because I am surrounded by that thinking and attitude, my cup runneth over with this. My response is to disassociate with people who have these behaviors.”

When I asked where she’s seen those patterns before, she recalled that her mother and sister had the same habit of being critical know-it-alls. Both parents ruled by creating guilt in others.

We discussed that no matter where you go, there you are. If she continued to react, she’d attract more people who would act the same, wherever she went.

She realized that unless she changed, even if she left her business, she’d continue to run into similar, annoying behaviors from others.


Programmed from childhood, traits like lack of confidence, guilt and worry can prompt you to continue brainwashing yourself with limiting beliefs, even when those who put these ideas in your head aren’t around. 

Don’t listen to your inner, critical voice that bullies you and makes you question your ability to succeed or be happy. It lies.

That nagging voice reflects how the people who told you that nonsense feel about themselves. It’s not about you.

Your true essence guides you with a kind, non-judgmental and supportive voice.


Her insight: this session made her step back and look at the bigger picture.

She realized that she won’t be affected by others when she has a different perspective. And when her buttons are no longer pushed, she won’t attract people who think like that.

By the way, she’s back to being #1 and having her best year ever. Life is more fun, and she feels free now that she no longer reacts to guilt trips and know-it-alls in the way she did before.

You can step out of your self-imposed prison of any limiting beliefs, even if you don’t know what’s holding you back.

Start by having confidence that believing in yourself brings.

Remember, those voices to the contrary are figments of someone else’s imagination that they projected on you.

Freedom and success are yours if you’re open to receive them.

P.S. Know someone who might enjoy this post? Please share.

 
I work with people, at any age,
who choose to share their gifts
or business in a BIGGER way
but don’t know how, feel stuck
or would benefit from new tools
or support.

I help them be richly compensated
doing what they love by aligning
with their Soul’s goals.

Copyright © 2017 Resolved for Results, All rights reserved.

TIP: Believe

August 30, 2016

Young Lane

Wow! 30 people gathered on Sunday for Free, Fun & Fulfilled – and what an experience.  An attendee just emailed saying it was an “energizing celebration.”

Maybe I didn’t take pictures because someone was on the Witness Protection Program and didn’t want to be seen. More probably, next time we’ll have a designated photographer.

Instead, here’s a photo of the wonderful estate where we held our gathering.

Everyone with whom I spoke following the meeting had a feeling of exhilaration, and no one could articulate why.

The energy created with the strong intention of love, acceptance, the magic of masterminding and belief in yourself and your goals – and through these the manifestation of dreams coming true – transcended words.

Belief infused the event days before our meeting.

Belief that the weather would be good instead of the forecasted thunderstorms. (It was a beautiful, sunny day.)

Belief that the speakers would agree to talk as well as share their stories in a meaningful way. (Everyone was awesome!)

Belief that the people who registered would show. (There were zero no-shows, and several unregistered guests showed up.)

Belief in a message that if you believe in yourself and your dreams… with just enough trust to take inspired action… that there IS a way to manifest them beyond anything you can figure out with your limited thinking.

And somewhere in all of this emerged the enchantment of the afternoon.

I remember a quote I heard years ago that heaven and earth will step aside for the man or woman with a dream.

Having enjoyed my program, Resolved for Results, the room included several people who are living examples of dreams that not only have come true but continue to expand. Dreams that include business, financial and creative goals along with enjoying a fabulous, personal life, too.

Today’s TIP is to believe in you and your dreams.

Believe that whatever your life circumstances, you can create something greater and better.

Believe that you are a child of the Divine, which means you deserve and are worthy of manifesting your dreams or something better.

Believe that there’s always a way out of your current conditions and a way in to live a life that exceeds your wildest expectation.

So be it!

GET A ROUND TUIT

September 30, 2013

You haven’t heard from me for a while because I’ve been focusing on my mastermind groups, having fun and  a whirlwind of completions. You know, those pesky nags that remind you of unfinished business.

Years ago, I attended a lecture by the late Zig Ziglar where he gave us his business card  – a  wooden, round TUIT. Translated: get around to it. Stop procrastinating and take action.

Recently, my eyes opened to the big picture of what I’d been tolerating. The broken blinds – hey, they worked if I didn’t raise them. The dangling coat hanger because I didn’t install the molly bolts correctly. The clusters of daddy long legs that resided on my porch and invaded my house when the door opened. Half the burners on my stove not heating well, etc., etc. It was time for change.

The mailbox looks great even though I sanded it with the sandpaper inside out.

My mailbox I refinished looks great even though I didn’t know what I was doing.

I found that projects often come with obstacles and learning curves. Wasn’t I surprised to discover, while proudly using my electric hand sander for the first time, that I refinished my weather-beaten, wooden mailbox with the sandpaper attached inside out. It turned out great anyway.

I asked questions only to find that many “experts” give crazy advice and don’t know what they’re talking about but act like they do. However, my intentions eventually drew the right people and solutions to me. I continue to tackle projects in spite of my ignorance. I learn and then I’m no longer clueless on those subjects. Not knowing what to do no longer stops me for long.

I’m motivated because stuff left undone as well as unresolved history drain energy making it challenging to focus on goals. Plus, results feel great.

Make room for your destiny. Courageously take action. Throw out your holey undies; no, they’re not sacred. Connect with folks you’ve been meaning to contact. Clearing space in your head and environment releases a power for your dreams to come true.

Believe in you. You don’t have to know how to manifest your goals or even what they are.  If you have that gut feeling that now-is the-time-for-change, then now is the time to get around TUIT.

If you choose to receive support, coaching, direction, focus and clarity, my Resolved for Results course is a game-changer to create results beyond your wildest imagination. www.ResolvedForResults.com

I am grateful to support your choices and see you receiving them!