Posts Tagged ‘Complaining’

That Thing that Upset You… Here’s Why!

December 3, 2018

barbie-e832b1072f_340

I know. I know. There’s no way you would EVER want this experience or someone to do to you what happened.

Obviously, someone or something else is to blame. How could you have caused this? It happened outside of you, out of your control. Wouldn’t anyone feel the same way?

If I elaborate on the idea that your thoughts and feelings are things, and they shape your world, you might want to land a punch on me if I were close to you. You might believe I don’t understand this situation. I’m delusional. Or perhaps you think that you already know we attract experiences through our thinking, but you had nothing to do with causing this fill in the blank issue.

Instead, I’ll share two examples, leaving you to evaluate if this idea might have any credibility. It might make more sense if you’ve spent years being angry or blaming others or wondering why things keep happening to you… and perhaps you’re coming to the awareness that those approaches haven’t gotten you what you want.

First is a woman who had COPD and several other physical disabilities that necessitated someone to be with her 24/7. She shared with me that she used to end up being the one to take care of people. She used to say to herself, when’s it going to be my turn to be taken care of? She got her answer, although not in the way she wanted.

Another woman left a position she’d had for several years when she realized the job was literally killing her. The business she planned on starting when she left her job never took off, which was a good thing because she was unwell and extremely weak.

Having no money, she went back to work at a job she had decades before – delivering pizzas. Not her dream job at the age of 60, to say the least.

The job actually had many redeeming qualities for her. She built up her strength. Finally, she was surrounded by a supportive and caring manager and team of co-workers. She made money she desperately needed.

For a while, she did a lot of complaining. Delivering pizzas was a far cry from living her dream. “I’m too old for this. A few months ago I could hardly walk, and now I’m slowly carrying heavy boxes of pizza and soda up flights of stairs, and sometimes I don’t even get tips.” She couldn’t see well while driving at night, had a hard time on access roads and finding places, and she hated those stairs and delivering to apartment buildings. To top it off, she decided that people of her race never tipped. She saw that as a fact.

These upsetting things appeared completely out of her control.

She couldn’t govern the randomness of which orders were next in line to deliver, who they’d go to, if they were tippers and where people lived.

Everything changed when she realized she was using her imagination to dwell on annoyances instead of what she chooses to experience.

She decided to change her focus and found that her outcomes improved the more she directed her thinking to what she wanted.

This success inspired her to become very intentional, with her thinking being the only thing that changed. This is what happened on that shift.

  1. All her deliveries were to houses except one to an apartment building, and they lived on the first floor.
  2. She had no need to travel on any access roads.
  3. Locations were easy to find.
  4. People of her own race always gave her great tips.
  5. She had her best night of tips ever, nearly doubling the tips she made on any good night in the entire three months she worked there.
  6. Everyone was friendly and nice.

The following week, she decided to leave that job. She’s now the happiest she’s ever been. She’s confident that financial opportunities she’s considering are going to work out because she’s learned the power of using her imagination wisely.

She discovered that effectively using one’s imagination is more real than the so called “reality” of outer circumstances. 

Now, she’s no longer worried or depressed.

She’s relaxed because she knows money will come and she’ll have time to pursue her dream. Based on opportunities coming her way, she has good reason to continue to believe things will work out.

You’re bigger than anything or anyone that’s upsetting you.

Rearrange your thinking. You are the change that changes your world.

Pay attention to what you’re telling yourself, the conversations in your head, during the day.

It’s not that you won’t be aware of your outer circumstances, but don’t freak out about them! Don’t give in to thinking nothing will ever change. Instead, focus on how you choose your life or business to be.

Take a breath. Shift gears. Imagine your life, really imagine it with your thoughts and feelings, as if it’s the way you choose and that everything’s working out in divine right timing.

And remember to tip well your servers and delivery folks. That’s how they earn their living.

P.S. Know someone who might enjoy this post? Please share.

I work with people, at any age,
who choose to share their gifts
or business in a BIGGER way
but don’t know how, feel stuck
or would benefit from new tools
or support.

I help them be richly compensated
doing what they love by discovering
their Soul’s goals.

Copyright © 2018 Soulgoals, All rights reserved.

Advertisements

Who’s Controlling Your Life?

June 18, 2018

me you

Here’s a simple formula:

If you’re used to thinking it’s all your fault and you screwed up (again), it’s probably the other person who’s the culprit.

Your programming includes the belief that there’s something wrong or oddly divergent about you, so now you believe it. Then you attract others who accuse you of the same thing, which adds proof that your seeming inadequacy must be true. The only reason this keeps happening is because your beliefs attract experiences that mirror your thinking and feeling. Your core assumption that there’s something wrong with you is false and can leave you feeling your life is out of control.

If you’re used to blaming, pointing fingers and complaining about other people, the issue probably is yours.

Your programming includes not taking responsibility for how you’re creating your life and then projecting your feelings on others. You really believe other people are to blame for the wrongs done to you. On top of that, if you blame hard enough, you might get others to doubt themselves or feel shame… then you feel in control. You can be very annoyed if others don’t go along with your beliefs or you can feel they just don’t get it.  If only they’d apologize, you’d be validated… but the relief doesn’t last for long because the underlying issue hasn’t been released.

Regardless if you unwittingly try to control others’ behaviors or allow others to control how you feel, the underlying trickster is the same.

Here are excerpts from my September 2015 blog post:

Who’s Controlling Your Life?

Ever feel that you want to crawl into bed with the covers pulled over your head? Feelings arise when thoughts add interpretation to emotions… which lead to beliefs… which can create those yucky feelings like frustration, disappointment and suffering. Hey, it’s not just you. We’re all wired like this, and we can change it!

Eckhart Tolle said “the ego believes it is real and tries hard to maintain its supremacy.” He shares that negative states of mind, such as anger, resentment, fear, worry and envy are products of the ego. When it’s in control, these appear to be justified and usually another person is blamed for these feelings. The true cause of this skewed thinking is not found in your life but in the very structure of the egoic mind.

How Can You Tell If You’ve Been Invaded Like The Walking Dead?

Ask if what you believe is true. You’re right, they’re wrong. You have an emotional charge. You can’t shake negative feelings and mind chatter. Your filter believes you see clearly, but your vision is clouded by a finger pointing at inductees into your Villains’ Hall of Fame.

If you’re reading this with some comprehension, in this moment, your ego has taken a hike. Left to the ego’s devices, this information does not compute.

Trekkie Talk

Data, an enlightened artificial intelligence life form, gets it as he talks with a primitive clone of himself in Star Trek Nemesis:

Data: You have been programmed to gather information that can be used against this ship.

Clone: I do not understand.

Data: I know.

And Data detached the clone from its power source.

When the ego’s program is running, there’s little understanding. It’s like seeing through a glass darkly as the person becomes a pawn to do the ego’s bidding. When YOU are in charge, you’ve got the bandwidth, clarity and energy to make your dreams real.

Liberation of Lunacy (LoL)

I created a tool called Liberation of Lunacy (LoL) to free yourself of doubt, limit, fear and lack through your power of choice, perspective and putting your Essence in charge. We’re all a little bit crazy when the ego takes charge. Meanwhile, here’s how to start freeing yourself when the siren sings you’ve really got a hold on me.

You’re More Than Enough

Don’t fall for lies of limitation.

The ego is a tool and will echo what you think and say. So quit beating yourself up. Stop blaming others. Go beyond the separation between you and others. Let go of trying to control or allowing others to control the way you feel and act.

Instead, shift your focus to you are more than enough.  Actually, you’re awesome! Look for what’s good in you. You can do this. You’ll feel lighter, which makes it easier to take action on what’s important to you.

P.S. Know someone who might
like this? Please forward.

I work with people who choose to share
their gifts or business in a BIGGER way
but don’t know how, feel stuck, could 
use new tools or support.

I help them ignite their Soul’s goals
and be richly compensated doing what
they love.

Negative People Left… and Lots More Business Came

January 15, 2018

bunnies (2)

Four long-time friends got together and formed a business. Two of the partners had limited thinking, were negative and unsupportive.

Before becoming my client, he complained about them to his other partner whose positive approach was more in alignment with his. He tried to make changes happen with the other two by talking with them. But they had strong beliefs that justified why they felt the way they did, which they considered sound thinking, practical and business-savvy.

From their logical analysis, businesses like theirs are hard to get started. There’s too much competition; people don’t spend money this time of year; people don’t have money for these services; and on and on.

In spite of my client’s well-intentioned efforts, and with all of his frustration, criticism and trying to enlighten them, two of his partners didn’t change. And their new business wasn’t moving along very quickly either.

When he started to take my Resolved for Results Success and Mastermind Program, he realized that disapproving of and talking about what you don’t want only energizes it so you get more of what you don’t want. Crazy sounding and backwards from how we think life should be, I know, but that’s the way universal energy works: what you focus on is what you get.

In his decision to apply what he was learning, he shifted his attention away from two of his partners’ actions and attitudes.

In its place, he chose to talk and think about what he wanted. He focused on his positive partner and the business doing well, and he didn’t allow himself to be distracted by the negativity of the other two.

A few hours after the fifth session with his Resolved for Results team, his new habit of thinking and feeling paid off. The two partners, who had been challenging, decided to step aside. It was all done amicably and with no hard feelings at all.

Later that same day and for the next couple of days, TEN new people showed up for their business services!

It helps to be on a team with people who know how to use positive energy. Why? Because we’re used to our patterns and may not recognize which ones hold us back. 


The energy you emanate and surround yourself with is real and impacts your finances, relationships, health and happiness.

You receive more of where your attention goes. It doesn’t matter if you like something or not. Whatever you energize with your focus will produce more of the same.

Like rabbits that reproduce quickly and prolifically, whatever you complain, get angry or talk about will multiply. If you feel sorry for yourself either in your head or whine about with others, you’ll get more of the same.

The blame game isn’t your ticket out, either, including blaming yourself!

Understand cause and effect. When you talk about something, you get more of it.


You control your destiny. You have the power to change your habit of thinking and feeling to create the life of your dreams.

The negatives in your life won’t change because you don’t like them but because you don’t energize them with your attention.

Instead, focus on what you choose. Give yourself time. It takes practice.

Then allow the Source of all to arrange life on your behalf… without worrying or trying to figure things out.

Be open to the miracles that follow.

With gratitude,

Virginia

P.S. Know someone who might enjoy this post? Please share.

I work with people, at any age,
who choose to share their gifts
or business in a BIGGER way
but don’t know how, feel stuck
or would benefit from new tools
or support.

I help them be richly compensated
doing what they love by aligning
with their Soul’s goals. 

Copyright © 2018 Resolved for Results, All rights reserved.