Short because I know you’re too overwhelmed to read anything long
“Focus brings power with it. If you clear away the thing that’s keeping you from your goal, you can then move directly toward the goal. If your mind is concerned with only one thing instead of two – especially if the two conflict! – you’ll get a lot more mileage out of its use.”
Sterling W. Sill, The International Journal of Success
How can you get control of your life? While you’re thinking, let me share a client’s story.
“The thought What am I going to do today? made me dizzy while I was flat in my bed. At that point I knew I had to stay home and not do anything except take care of myself, prioritize, and discover what makes me happy. I realized I wasn’t helping anybody because I needed to help myself. One by one I backed off from activities where I could be replaced and started to focus on what is important to me.”
There are so many demands on our time – family, work, responsibilities, friends, personal care, problem solving and more – that we can get overwhelmed.
Who’s got time to focus on what’s most important to us and our dreams? But then, if we don’t tend to these, we’ll stay where we are. So much to deal with. It can be confusing and exhausting.
Have you seen the apparatus on some sci-fi shows that scatters someone’s image into a dozen different places so the real person can’t be found? That’s what our lives are like when we allow ourselves to overextend into too many activities. We lose ourselves.
Of course, this offers us a great excuse, too, as it’s much easier to jump from one activity to another, adopt a non-productive feeling of being overwhelmed so we can’t think straight, or change from one goal or project to another, than to see them to completion without feeling frazzled.
“In soloing, as in other activities, it is far easier to start something than it is to finish it.”
Amelia Earhart
How can you get control of your life?
Get clear on what you want
Focus on this as a priority
Decide you’re going to skip feeling overwhelmed
Enjoy the process
Take action.
Oh, you may as well have fun while doing this! It makes life so much easier
Does the thought of not being overwhelmed feel overwhelming?
Soulgoal Missive, Year 2, No.1, originally puclished in 2002
I cannot emphasize this point strongly enough: the targets to which acquisitioners connect their energy circuits are people or objects to which they have surrendered their power – specifically, the power to control them.
CAROLYN MYSS, Anatomy of the Spirit
I still felt exhausted and light-headed three months, $1000, and seven practitioners later. Adrenal burnout created chronic fatigue, and I couldn’t get a handle on it. The healing work brought an underlying physical strength but not enough to impact my daily life. The only business I could manage was what was absolutely necessary.
One weekend my energy and head cleared. I was enthusiastic until I met with a client on Monday, and my thinking relapsed into a heavy fog. I had enough and drew the line as I realized this wasn’t about my health.
I decided it was time to get to the underlying cause.
A friend suggested I was in a transformational process that could create a breakthrough. She told me about a book Anatomy of the Spirit by Carolyn Myss, which is about health and energy. I had so little of either it seemed a logical place to look, even though I didn’t see how it would help.
If we don’t recognize that our source of energy comes from within, we look outside ourselves to find it. That could be a person (as found in co-dependent relationships or even someone we respect), a business or organization (when we think our source of money or salvation can only come from an outside source), a substance (such as alcohol, drugs, coffee, or cigarettes), or belief systems (ideas we believe to be true).
Instead of trusting a divine source or ourselves, we believe something outside of us is stronger. By doing so, we give away our power and allow it to control us.
I sat at the computer and wrote what I felt: “Where am I plugging in my energy circuits?Emotionally to something outside myself. Not a person or an idea, but a belief.”
The answer popped out. To be more visible in my business and speak my truth, people might not like what I have to say. Society would then ostracize me, and I was afraid to have that happen.
In that moment of discovery, the left side of my head instantly cleared!
Recognizing this was the right track, I knew if I opened the book to any page it would give me the insight that I needed to clear the other side of my head.
The light bulb moment began with the thought, “On the right side, I’m short-circuited with fear.”
I realized that in the back of my mind I thought I would never accomplish a deeply cherished goal. This belief froze me into inaction through fear and disappointment.
“I’m not acknowledging all is in divine order. My will is motivated by fear and a lack of control. I need to connect my head and heart and allow Thy will not my will be done.”
Poof! Like magic, the right side of my head cleared. Reignited by this new awareness, my energy and clear-headedness returned and didn’t leave.
How could these beliefs affect my body and mind with such devastating results?
If you saw a friend about to cut her wrists or jump off a bridge, wouldn’t you do whatever you could to sabotage her efforts?
Unbeknownst to me, I held a fearful belief of being disapproved of – I was unconsciously imagining the worst about what would happen if people didn’t like what I had to say.
That belief affected me emotionally by doing all it could to prevent me from what it perceived a certain death, death to my ego and the pain it created. That belief, created as a child, did what it thought was protecting me and keeping me safe.
It didn’t matter if the belief was true; unconsciously I believed it and acted as if it was real.
If I felt too exhausted to work, I’d be safe because I wouldn’t be able to share my viewpoints. I wouldn’t be visible for people to disapprove of me and experience some harmful fate.
I know this can sound convoluted and weird, but many of our limiting beliefs were created when we were kids using limited logic. Read on to see what I mean.
Exhaustion comes from emotions.
We may feel tired or extremely fatigued from hard work or putting in long hours, but exhaustion comes from emotions. Exhaustion stems from suppressing worries, anger, fear, and concerns, often telling ourselves we’ll deal with them later. But we don’t. By stuffing and not looking at them, we emotionally sabotage ourselves.
Dragging ourselves home from work may result from not dealing with the stress of associating with certain people or situations. Exhaustion at home may occur by not wanting to admit something needs to change.
We can exhaust ourselves from not wanting to look at the reasons we feel pain or fear.
A woman once told me about her unfulfilling relationship with her father. As a little girl she regularly hit her head against the wall rather than face that emotional pain.
Now in her twenties, she no longer hits her head. Instead she gets migraines. Althoughpainful, migraines were easier for her to deal with than looking at the pain she felt from being emotionally abandoned by her father.
People sometimes drive themselves through grueling physical activity, constant busyness, or hellish, military training rather than look at the pain and frustration they feel about their parents or past, negative experiences. It’s often easier to focus on the body and its needs while flying under one’s emotional radar.
We can identify with pain, illness, or exhaustion, even turning it into a badge of courage. This seems easier than facing what lies beneath the surface, as the survival of the pain depends on remaining unconscious.
Our shadow self is afraid to allow the light of awareness to be shined on it. The dark side wants to remain hidden so it won’t be found out, fearing a fate worse than death.
As long as we continue to unconsciously identify with the pain rather than look at it and let it go, it continues to hold power over us. This is what causes us to relive variations of emotionally charged situations repeatedly.
The situations change but the underlying feelings of fear, pain or fill-in-the-blank emotion are close to the same way we felt during the original affront.
Our spirit desires a release of unsupportive energy. That’s why it continues to draw to us similar situations (even if they suck) so we can wake up and be free.
The reason we are afraid of it so much is that we created this fearful part as a child. These emotions feel natural and familiar tinged with a childlike dread that we’ve learned to suppress and live with over the years.
Imagine a helpless youngster dealing with a challenging, life situation. Obviously, coping and life skills are limited. Fear takes over. If we haven’t resolved these childhood impressions, they can continue to haunt us until we gain perspective and release their energy.
If we avoid releasing that unsupportive energy, we look for our power elsewhere while feeling inadequate to manage on our own. We settle for jobs, relationships, and unsatisfying lives. This is exhausting.
Do you feel exhausted? Covid getting you down? Had enough? Where are you losing your power? Who or what did you give your power to?
A first step to freedom is self-awareness, and sometimes asking for help to perceive the blind spots and see.
Ready to identify and let go of limiting beliefs and feelings that hold you back? Contact me for a free consultation at: virginia@soulgoals.com
I work with people who choose to share their gifts or business in a BIGGER way but don’t know how, feel stuck or could use new tools or support.
I help them ignite their Soul’s goals and be richly compensated doing what they love.
I was running out of time to complete writing projects – and my deadline was already extended.
My cat kept me up half the night because she was sick.
I woke up with a debilitating headache because, when I eventually fell asleep, my head was in an awkward position.
I felt miserable.
Not able to focus on my business for a week because of my project.
Exhausted.
Then, it occurred to me that I’m creating this.
I forgot to consciously create my day through intention.
Instead, I focused on how I was going to get everything done.
I wondered about what I was going to do.
How I didn’t feel well.
And my approach wasn’t working. I felt stuck.
Then, I remembered.
I forgot to choose to be in Divine Flow.
When I did, I stopped pushing.
Took a nap.
Ideas came how I could resolve obstacles to complete my projects.
I started to feel better – physically and emotionally.
My feline friend felt better, too.
To explain what I mean by divine flow, here’s an excerpt from my program Soulgoals: A Step-by-Step Guide to Do What You Love… even if you failed before, lost hope, are afraid, stressed or confused.
“If you’re struggling or suffering, change your perspective. The struggle may come because you’re trying to control or swim upstream against the current.
“If the going gets tough, maybe you’re going in the wrong direction.
“Life is designed to be in divine flow. If you’re struggling or suffering, you’re going against the flow. Maybe you think you should be acting and thinking a certain way, but that’s actually what’s holding you back and putting you in a flow that’s other than divine. If you are, choose to be in divine flow; continue to choose this.
“Let go of how you think things should be so your focus can shift to the present moment and what is. Allow new perspectives and options to emerge.”
Spoiler alert: Your essential nature is divine, regardless if you feel and have acted like the lowest of lowest. Your essence (and everyone else’s) IS your true nature.
Today’s TIP is simple – for you to implement and for me to share.
Choose to be in divine flow.
It seems to defy logic that this can make it difference.
A few seconds of setting this intention, choosing a belief, sets your day in a positive direction.
You can do this at any time of the day, especially if things start getting wonky.
Observe how your life changes for the better.
You may notice how things change a lot or step-by-step.
Either way, instead of “if it’s not one thing, it’s another,” you shift your trajectory so the track you’re on is “things get better and better.”
Reprinted from April 7, 2016 Soulgoals’ Blog Archives
Would you love your life to flow more smoothly in 2020? If so, contact me for a Break-Free Session at virginia@soulgoals.com
I work with people who choose to share their gifts or business in a BIGGER way (or just feel better) but don’t know how, feel stuck or would benefit from new tools or support.
I help them be richly compensated doing what they love by aligning with their Soul’s goals.
Virginia Goszewska (go-SHEF-ska) awakens people to be richly compensated doing what they love by aligning with their Soul’s goals.
Based on decades of extensive research and personal discoveries, Virginia created the unique mastermind and success program Soulgoals: A Step-by-Step System to Do What You Love – even if you failed before, lost hope, are afraid, stuck, stressed or confused. The mastermind is an energy created when two or more gather in harmony for the attainment of a shared, definite objective.
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