Posts Tagged ‘Can’t figure it out’

DON’T Try to Figure Things Out

April 21, 2023

There’s a BETTER way!

“I don’t know how to do it” and “I gotta figure it out” are seductions, siren songs of the egoic self, to lure you into keeping you small.

The egoic self is a false identity, which all of us have, that pretends to be us. We can recognize one aspect of it by the voice in our heads that never stops talking – often unsupportive, fearful and negative.

Its purpose? It wants you to stay limited under the guise of playing it safe.

However, the lack of money and happiness as well as business and personal fulfillment aren’t safe places to be at all!

The ego lies.

It seduces you into believing that you have to know HOW to do something. It insists you must have the big picture, all your ducks in a row and conditions must be just right before taking action.

Faulty assumptions are made. I don’t have the money. My life will be too disrupted. The children. My health. It’s not the right time. It’s not fill in the blank excuse.

I’ve observed this when people give me a list of why they can’t take action now toward their dreams. Really logical sounding reasons. Often they’re excuses in sheep’s clothing, aka listening to the egoic self’s whispers of fear and limitation.

Some, in trying to figure things out and looking for validation, ask others for their opinion. Then they’re dealing with others’ issues in addition to their own.

Hint: listen to the very first guidance that comes. It can be a gut feeling, an excitement, relief or a flash of insight. What comes after, with all the logical reasons or someone else planting doubt, can be ego-sourced. Well-meaning, seemingly safe, but actually neither.

If we continue to ignore our inner guidance, then life’s 2 x 4 can whack us to get our attention and change. Life crises in health, relationships, finances, accidents, job turnaround, death, divorce, emotional distress, natural disaster and more, for all their yuckiness, are catalysts for change.

However, having the courage to listen to our inner nudges is easier, even though we may try to talk ourselves into believing it isn’t.

By the way, the egoic self is very defensive because it believes its survival and identity depend on its perspective. Woe to anyone who might suggest otherwise… unless someone has had enough of unconsciously being unconscious and reaches out for freedom.

“Protecting and enhancing that false sense of self then becomes your primary motivating force.”

Eckhart Tolle, Stillness Speaks

The mindset of the egoic self is opposite of how the creative process works.

“If you ask the “how” question before the “what” question, all you can ever hope to create are variations of what you already have.”

Robert Fritz, The Path of Least Resistance

Use your imagination. Focus on the results, where you choose to be, not on the process or where you are.

The way will makes itself known.

If you think that you have to figure something out first, you limit your options.

You have limited experience. To go where no man or woman has gone before, you have to tap into a creative power and allow yourself to be guided by it.

Be wary of the excuses logical reasons you give yourself that hold you back.

Another way of saying this is get out of your head, and don’t try to figure things out.

Instead, relax and open yourself to infinite possibilities. Then take action by following your inner guidance.

Edited Soulgoals’ Blog excerpt from March 20, 2017

Copyright © 2023 Soulgoals, All rights reserved.


Could you use help to discover new options and perspectives?

Learn how: virginia@soulgoals.com • http://www.soulgoals.com

I help women tune in to their true Selves, see clearly and live their personal and professional dreams.

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Getting Blamed and It’s Not Your Fault?

October 10, 2022

In The Wizard of Oz, the young girl Dorothy had to deal with many challenges to find her way back home, most of them created by a Wicked Witch.

It was rough going until she realized that she always had the power within her to return.

One turning point came when it appeared there was no way out of a fiery disaster. I mean, that wicked witch was going to kill them all, including Toto the dog! She started by setting on fire Dorothy’s dear friend the Scarecrow, who was made of straw.

Forgetting I’d seen this story countless times, I was shocked. How could they get out of this predicament? There seemed to be none. I couldn’t think of any.

Here’s where the magic of life steps in.  There was a solution, but one they couldn’t have figured out.

To save her friend from the flames, Dorothy threw a bucket of water on him; some of it landed on the witch. Dorothy had no idea what her action would do.

Even if it appears that there’s no way out, there is. Life can step in and provide solutions that you couldn’t imagine.


Wicked Witch of the West: 

“Don’t throw that water. (The witch screams.) You cursed brat! Look what you’ve done! I’m melting, melting. Oh what a world, what a world! Who would have thought a good little girl like you could destroy my beautiful wickedness! I’m going! Oh! Oh!”

And the witch was dead!

Surrounded by the Wicked Witch’s minions, Dorothy apologized for this unintended consequence. However, everyone rejoiced and broke into song, “Ding Dong! The Wicked Witch is dead.”


Notice how the Wicked Witch blamed Dorothy, as if Dorothy was the one who did something wrong, forgettting it was the witch who set her friend on fire!

This is such a common strategy of people lost in their own convoluted thinking. They want others to change so they can continue their goofy, limited approach to life.

By the way, blame is one way the egoic mind operates: You… You… You’re wrong! It’s your fault. Apologize. (I certainly won’t look at how I might be the cause of a problem.)

You don’t have to fall for this attempt to doubt yourself!

Just like in Star Wars where a ragtag group defeated the Empire. Just like how a good, little girl like Dorothy and her friends melted the witch…

You can get over any hurdles in your path, too.

There are ways of breaking free to enjoy the life, business or work of your dreams. There is a better way than trying to make things happen, trying to figure things out or getting tired of trying.

You have the power within you!


To learn more about how to break free, contact me at virginia@soulgoals.com

I help women to tune in to their true Selves, see life clearly and live their personal and professional dreams.

Edited from Soulgoals June 25, 2018 post

Copyright © 2022 Soulgoals

Melt the Wicked Witches in Your Life… and be free

September 14, 2020

 

 

“I’m ready, said Dorothy in The Wizard of Oz. Glenda the Good Witch replied: “Then close your eyes. Tap your heals together three times, and think to yourself, ‘There’s no place like home.'” Ah, the power of intention!

In the movie The Wizard of Oz., the young girl Dorothy had to deal with many challenges to find her way back home, many of them created by the Wicked Witch.

But it was rough going until she realized that she always had the power within her to return.

One turning point came when it appeared there was no way out of a fiery disaster. I mean, that wicked witch was going to kill them all, including Toto the dog! She started by setting on fire Dorothy’s dear friend the Scarecrow, who was made of straw.

Forgetting I’d seen this story countless times, I was shocked. How could they get out of this predicament? There seemed to be none. I couldn’t think of any.

Here’s where the magic of life steps in.  There was a solution, but one they couldn’t have figured out.

To save her friend from the flames, Dorothy threw a bucket of water on him; some of it landed on the witch. Dorothy had no idea what her action would do.


Wicked Witch of the West: 
“Don’t throw that water. (The witch screams.) You cursed brat! Look what you’ve done! I’m melting, melting. Oh what a world, what a world! Who would have thought a good little girl like you could destroy my beautiful wickedness! I’m going! Oh! Oh!”

And the witch was dead!

Surrounded by the Wicked Witch’s minions, Dorothy apologized for this unintended consequence. However, everyone rejoiced and broke into song, “Ding Dong! The Wicked Witch is dead.”


Even if it appears that there’s no way out, there is. Life can step in and provide solutions that you couldn’t imagine.

Just like in Star Wars where a ragtag group defeated the Empire. Just like how a good, little girl like Dorothy and her friends melted the witch…

You can get over any hurdles in your path, too.

There is a way of breaking free to enjoy the life, business or work of your dreams. There is a better way than trying to make things happen, trying to figure things out or getting tired of trying.

We’re all wired to grow and reach beyond where we are now, and we can learn how to consciously create something greater.

Believe you can, and you can. And you don’t even have to tap your heals together three times, unless you want to.

P.S. Know someone who might
like this? Please share.

 

If you’d like help with the Wicked Witches in your life,

contact me at virginia@soulgoals.com

 

I work with people who choose to share
their gifts or business in a BIGGER way
but don’t know how, feel stuck or could 
use new tools or support.

I help them ignite their Soul’s goals
and be richly compensated doing what
they love.”

Originally posted on June 26, 2018

Melt the Wicked Witches in Your Life and Break Free

June 25, 2018

Ruby slippers

This month, I’ve been taking the Mad about Musicals course offered by TCN (Turner Classic Movies), which led me to watch, once again, The Wizard of Oz.

In this film, the young girl Dorothy had to deal with many challenges to find her way back home, most of them created by a Wicked Witch. But it was rough going before she realized that she always had the power within her to return.

One turning point came when it appeared there was no way out of a fiery disaster. I mean, that wicked witch was going to kill them all, including Toto the dog! She started by setting on fire Dorothy’s dear friend the Scarecrow, who was made of straw.

Forgetting I’d seen this story countless times, I was shocked. How could they get out of this predicament? There seemed to be none. I couldn’t think of any.

Here’s where the magic of life steps in.  There was a solution, but one they couldn’t have figured out.

To save her friend from the flames, Dorothy threw a bucket of water on him; some of it landed on the witch. Dorothy had no idea what her action would do.


Wicked Witch of the West: 
“Don’t throw that water. (The witch screams.) You cursed brat! Look what you’ve done! I’m melting, melting. Oh what a world, what a world! Who would have thought a good little girl like you could destroy my beautiful wickedness! I’m going! Oh! Oh!”

And the witch was dead!

Surrounded by the Wicked Witch’s minions, Dorothy apologized for this unintended consequence. However, everyone rejoiced and broke into song, “Ding Dong! The Wicked Witch is dead.”


Even if it appears that there’s no way out, there is. Life can step in and provide solutions that you couldn’t imagine.

Just like in Star Wars where a ragtag group defeated the Empire. Just like how a good, little girl like Dorothy and her friends melted the witch…

You can get over any hurdles in your path, too.

There is a way of breaking free to enjoy the life, business or work of your dreams. There is a better way than trying to make things happen, trying to figure things out or getting tired of trying.

If you’d like to learn more about how to do this, I invite you to my presentation this Wednesday, June 27th, at Mangia Pizza in the Gracy Farms Shopping Center, Austin, TX. 12001 Burnet Rd., Suite D, is located at the intersection of Mopac and Burnet Rd. The group gathers at 11:30 AM; the meeting is from noon – 1 PM.

I’m the featured speaker at the NW Austin Business Connections networking meeting.  There is no charge to attend, but you might enjoy having lunch.

You’ll discover powerful keys to transform your life, business or work during my talk:

From Burnt Out to Turned On –
Be Richly Compensated Doing What You Love
Faster and Easier than You Dreamed Possible
 

We’re all wired to grow and reach beyond where we are now, and we can learn how to consciously create something greater.

Come and discover how the wicked witches in your life can melt, expand your vision and see that the home of your dreams is closer than you imagined.

You need keys to unlock the doors, and I’m sharing several of those keys on Wednesday.

You’re invited to join me, if you can.

P.S. Know someone who might
like this? Please forward.

I work with people who choose to share
their gifts or business in a BIGGER way
but don’t know how, feel stuck, could 
use new tools or support.

I help them ignite their Soul’s goals
and be richly compensated doing what
they love.”

Copyright © 2018 Resolved for Results, All rights reserved.

Can’t Figure Out What to Do?

June 4, 2018

boy at crossroad

A 14-year old boy kept repeating to his mom that he didn’t know what to do. She astutely realized that he was too young to be obsessing like this. Taking full responsibility, she told him that this was her issue and not his.

In fact, her mother had the same default pattern, when problems arose, of feeling like she didn’t know what to do, and it was passed on intergenerationally – from mother to daughter to son.

Not knowing what to do was a learned response. They copied their parents’ response when challenged. It wasn’t that they couldn’t know what to do, but these automatic thoughts made them stuck.

I understood because my mother had the same pattern. When a confounding problem arose, she would resort to deer-in-headlights mode, being blinded temporarily. With some quandaries, it became permanent.

Having absorbed this pattern myself (until I was able to notice when it showed up), I would adopt the same mental responses: I don’t know what to do. What am I going to do? I don’t know what to do. 

The result was feeling stuck, not knowing where to turn.


The ego, the false identity we all have, uses limited techniques. Nonetheless, we often buy into them hook, line and sinker. It will have us question our ability to believe in ourselves by popping in circular thoughts like “what am I going to do. I don’t know what to do, but I’ve got to figure it out.”

If we haven’t had a particular experience before, there’s no reason why we should know what to do. However, the ego will have us beat ourselves up, sometimes mercilessly, leading us to believe there’s something wrong with us because we can’t figure out what to do.


The ego is a computer that only knows what it’s been programmed to do. For example, if a computer hasn’t been programmed for the Swahili language, it’s impossible for it to communicate in Swahili. Nor would we expect that it should.

However, we can get very upset with ourselves for not knowing the answer to something with which we’ve had no experience.

There is a way out! Our inner essence, the wise part within, has access to unlimited intelligence. By asking our inner wisdom, we can find answers.

Once I had a stressful situation where I noticed that I silently was repeating in circles: I don’t know what to do. What am I going to do?

I recognized that there’s a part of me that absolutely had no clue to a solution. None.

Instead, I asked a part of me that knows. What can I do?

Off I left for an appointment. While walking back to my car after my meeting, an idea came to me. It was a simple solution that only required me to drive somewhere to address the situation in person. Problem solved.

Don’t bother getting upset with yourself when you feel stuck. That would be falling for the ego’s tricks. Skip feeling miserable.

Instead, ask the part of you that has wisdom and can access answers beyond your wildest imagination. 

Your answers are within.

 
P.S. Know someone who might
like this? Please forward.

I work with people who choose to share
their gifts or business in a BIGGER way
but don’t know how or feel stuck.

I help them ignite their Soul’s goals
and be richly compensated doing what
they love.

 

Copyright © 2018 Resolved for Results, All rights reserved.