Archive for the ‘Procrastination’ Category

Feel Overwhelmed with the Clock Ticking?

March 26, 2018

clocks and woman

A mastermind team did an exercise called “Strategy for Success,” which included prioritizing personal and professional goals, identifying obstacles, followed by strategies to overcome each one. If there was a roadblock, what could they do about it?

Procrastination was a big obstacle. Many delays were due to questioning themselves. Are they capable? Are they good enough? Are they doing the right thing?

Avoidance happened when their goals involved new activity and knowledge that differed from how they’d done things in the past. They were growing their businesses in new ways, which meant doing things they’d never done before.

Venturing into an arena unknown to them brought on self-doubt, which immobilized them from moving forward.


One woman, who took on a new-to-her project, didn’t know how to complete it. She simply didn’t have the expertise to finish the job. With deadlines looming, she held herself back from doing a pile of other work, that she easily knows how to do, until she finished her worrisome project.

It turned out that a business associate had already offered, completely free of charge, to help her every step of the way. He also told her point blank that she was fully capable of doing this work on her own once she learned the steps.

All she really needed was help to walk through each step. Then she’d have it.

After she completed his initial instructions, she felt that she should know how to finish it on her own. However, because she had no prior experience with it, there’s no way she could know.

She was stuck because her self-esteem felt jeopardized.

She didn’t want to call him for help because that made her feel there was something wrong with her abilities and herself. That she wasn’t good enough.

So she remained frozen for way too long, which meant she wasn’t receiving income for a stack of work she could do.

By changing her perspective, she was able to see how asking for help had nothing to do with her self-worth, and she was willing to contact him again. 
 


When going outside the known and our comfort zone, when choosing to take ourselves to another level, it’s likely new tools and skills will be needed. This has nothing to do with not being good enough or a reason to be afraid of rejection!

Once we get over our “yes, buts,” “you don’t understand,”  “I was told this is the way it is (or I am),” “there’s nothing that can be done” and countless other reasons we try to legitimize why we do things the way we’ve always done, new solutions can appear.

The answers to get you through any challenge live within you. You’ll either get pointed in a direction, a direct insight will come, you’ll overhear something by chance… somehow your personal GPS will show you the way.

Pay attention to your inner nudges. They provide clues.

Be open to step back and see things in a new perspective. The seemingly impossible may actually be possible with a different approach.

Niels Bohr, who won the Nobel Prize in Physics in 1922, wrote this:

“Every great and deep difficulty bears in itself its own solution. It forces us to change our thinking in order to find it.”

Bohr, who contributed to understanding atomic structure and quantum theory, tapped into his creativity to use outside the box thinking, which allowed him to be part of breakthrough discoveries.

Expand your territory. Change your perspective. Open to breakthroughs.

P. S. Know someone who might be interested in this TIP?  Please share.

I work with people, at any age,
who choose to share their gifts
or business in a BIGGER way
but don’t know how, feel stuck
or would benefit from new tools
or support.

I help them be richly compensated
doing what they love by aligning
with their Soul’s goals.

Copyright © 2018 Resolved for Results, All rights reserved.

Always Late & Putting Herself Down

January 29, 2018

late

“I’m late, I’m late for a very important date.” from Alice in Wonderland

A friend told me, “I have a character defect, and I really have to change it this year.”

She had a hard time being on time. 

She said, “If I have A, B and C to do, I try to squeeze it all in, even though I only have enough time to do A. Then I become late. It’s disrespectful to people, and I just have to stop it. This year, it’s got to stop!

“I was born three weeks late, and my mother just accepted my showing up late. It’s no longer working for me, though.”

Her self-deprecating tone became more disapproving the longer she talked. To listen to her, one might think she was headed straight to the bowels of the earth for her misdeeds.

To put it in perspective, though, it was tardiness and not the end of the world.
 


I told her. “You had an issue. You don’t have to keep bringing up examples of what you did wrong in the past and how bad you think are while dragging all of that into the present. You made a new decision to be on time. So be it.”

Her reply was, “It’s really so simple, isn’t it? I don’t have to beat myself up or agonize about my habits. Just make a decision to change, and then follow through.”


Have you ever felt miserable and chastised yourself about how you didn’t do as well as you thought you should? 

It reminds me of when I was in third grade and took a music test. I was sure I failed. The test scores wouldn’t come back for a week, and I suffered the entire seven days. Why couldn’t I have done better?

I got the highest grade in the class.

That was my first introduction to an idea, “Don’t worry until you have something to worry about.”

It took me years to take it to another level: don’t bother worrying at all. It doesn’t help. Worry and making ourselves wrong actually make our situations worse.

Ready to be ahead of your time?

  • Let go of your story that you continue to tell about time.
  • Stop using your stories as a way of getting attention.
  • If you messed up, you messed up. Learn from it and move on… without the story.
  • Release the need to justify your actions or get validation from others.
  • Accept yourself more without adding judgment, blame and shame.
  • Shift your focus away from your past and refocus on now and where you’re going.

Step at a time, you’ll be in front of time instead of behind it.

P.S. Know someone who might enjoy this post? Please share.

I work with people, at any age, who choose to share their gifts or business in a BIGGER way but don’t know how, feel stuck or would benefit from new tools or support. I help them be richly compensated doing what they love by aligning with their Soul’s goals. 

 

Copyright © 2018 Resolved for Results, All rights reserved.

Are You Running Away From Your Fear?

January 17, 2017

girl-and-stuffed-animal

Your success accelerates and happiness blooms when you let go of fear and the ego’s grasp.

Fear subtly whispers what if the worse happens. It can have you look calm or cheerful, but inside quiet trepidation runs like a persistent, low grade fever. It can breed a full-blown panic humbling you to beg a divine power for help – hoping/doubting if anyone is listening to your prayers or wondering if they’ll bother to answer them.

Fear can masquerade as anger, frustration, pain, avoidance, blaming, complaining, feeling like a victim, sadness, apathy, bullying, guilt, rescuing, suffering as well as every facet of unhappiness.

Fear creates lack of clarity and direction while triggering procrastination or immobilizing you from taking action, dreading that you’ll make a mistake and then you-know-what will hit the fan.

Although miserable to experience, these outcomes provide a compelling distraction from looking at the culprit – your underlying fear.

However, just like in the Wizard of Oz when the curtain was pulled back, there’s nothing substantive to fear.

  1. Fear is only a scary story in your head.
  2. You can more effectively deal with real issues when you’re not emotionally clouded.
  3. You continue to attract unwanted circumstances until you stop running away from your fear, let it go and see it for what it is: a no-thing.
  4. You only attract what you can handle, so there’s no reason to fear anything. 

When you stop thinking and talking about your problems as if you’re in a Stephen King novel, you stop generating your real-life, horror stories.

FEAR = False Evidence Appearing Real.

The ego will lead you to believe that you’ll have more pain if you look at your fear.

However, it’s the embellished, painful narratives of what horrible fate might happen in the future or remembering what happened in the past that snags you.

When you focus on the past and future, you bypass present time, and this is where your personal empowerment dwells.

How can you know if you’re doing this? Listen to your own stories. What’s the timeline – past, present or future?

Ego will play you like a fiddle – directing your attention to what you don’t have (like enough money, time, love, health, direction or success), past and future worries, anywhere but the Now.

If you allow yourself to look at your inner bogeyman, with an intention of letting it go, you’ll find freedom.

Ask for your inner spirit to shine your courage so you can let go of fear and find the tools and support to release what’s holding you back.

You can begin now:

  • Be willing to let go.
  • Ask for help – inwardly and outwardly.
  • Journal to bring clarity and with the intention of letting go.
  • Open to receive a life and business that exceeds your wildest expectations.

When you feel afraid you give your power away. Choose to take it back.

If you don’t get this job or deal, you can get another.

If one way doesn’t work, it’s not the end of the world. Another can be even better. (By the way, I used to be a master at making mountains out of molehills, so I know how much anxiety, pain and self-destruction this habit generates.)

No person, circumstance, financial condition, politician, economic outlook, industry predictions, threats, doctor’s diagnosis, the past or unknown future can affect you unless you let it.

Dwelling on fear or what doesn’t work is emotional quicksand that sabotages your success.

A woman told me about a dream she had with a ferocious lion. Instead of running away, she walked toward it and through it. It had no substance.

You pay a high price for letting fear run your life. Drama. Stress. Challenging relationships. Attracting more fear than money. Confusion. Unconsciously repelling business. Poor health. A life that doesn’t feel like it’s worth living.

You can change now.

Make a decision that instead of listening to the nagging, fear-based story in your head, and judging yourself for having it, you’ll focus on what you choose and what’s working.

Results? You’re happier. Your business and finances grow. You attract love from all the right places. Your health improves.

You’re worth it.

I work with people who choose to share their gifts or business in a BIGGER way but don’t know how, feel stuck or would benefit from new tools or support. I help them ignite their Soul’s goals and be richly compensated doing what they love.

Copyright © 2017 Resolved for Results, All rights reserved.

GET A ROUND TUIT

September 30, 2013

You haven’t heard from me for a while because I’ve been focusing on my mastermind groups, having fun and  a whirlwind of completions. You know, those pesky nags that remind you of unfinished business.

Years ago, I attended a lecture by the late Zig Ziglar where he gave us his business card  – a  wooden, round TUIT. Translated: get around to it. Stop procrastinating and take action.

Recently, my eyes opened to the big picture of what I’d been tolerating. The broken blinds – hey, they worked if I didn’t raise them. The dangling coat hanger because I didn’t install the molly bolts correctly. The clusters of daddy long legs that resided on my porch and invaded my house when the door opened. Half the burners on my stove not heating well, etc., etc. It was time for change.

The mailbox looks great even though I sanded it with the sandpaper inside out.

My mailbox I refinished looks great even though I didn’t know what I was doing.

I found that projects often come with obstacles and learning curves. Wasn’t I surprised to discover, while proudly using my electric hand sander for the first time, that I refinished my weather-beaten, wooden mailbox with the sandpaper attached inside out. It turned out great anyway.

I asked questions only to find that many “experts” give crazy advice and don’t know what they’re talking about but act like they do. However, my intentions eventually drew the right people and solutions to me. I continue to tackle projects in spite of my ignorance. I learn and then I’m no longer clueless on those subjects. Not knowing what to do no longer stops me for long.

I’m motivated because stuff left undone as well as unresolved history drain energy making it challenging to focus on goals. Plus, results feel great.

Make room for your destiny. Courageously take action. Throw out your holey undies; no, they’re not sacred. Connect with folks you’ve been meaning to contact. Clearing space in your head and environment releases a power for your dreams to come true.

Believe in you. You don’t have to know how to manifest your goals or even what they are.  If you have that gut feeling that now-is the-time-for-change, then now is the time to get around TUIT.

If you choose to receive support, coaching, direction, focus and clarity, my Resolved for Results course is a game-changer to create results beyond your wildest imagination. www.ResolvedForResults.com

I am grateful to support your choices and see you receiving them!

SPEAK UP: IT’S TIME TO LIVE YOUR LIFE – PART 2

May 13, 2011

A Tarantula Living Its Life As A Tarantula

It takes courage to see through intimidation. 

There’s a real danger that Yemen will fall to al-Qaida, and their President Saleh uses this to try and control people through fear. The people’s choice: repressive regime or the bogeyman? 

In spite of this potential terror, there are those who no longer are willing to be repressed. And they don’t believe these are the only choices. 

Tawakkol Karman, a female Yemeni activist and writer reported: “We cannot let the bogeyman of al-Qaida and extremism be used to stall historic change in our country; Saleh invokes this threat in an attempt to cling to power, as if he is the only one capable of bringing stability and tackling terrorism. It would be foolish to believe his lies.” 

It reminds me of the empty warning, “no one will ever love you like I do.” Settle for less or be left with something worse or nothing. 

Are you afraid of living your dream? 

What if you try and don’t succeed? 

What-if-the-worse-happens is a tune that plays like a broken record on the shadowy grooves of fear. 

Here’s a mishmash of some of my clients what-ifs: “If I fail, I’ll end up penniless and ashamed, living under a bridge with my dog in a soggy cardboard box, scorned by family and friends saying, ‘I told you so.’” 

What what-if influences you not to live your dreams? What are the odds it will happen?

As Mark Twain said, “I’ve lived through some terrible things in my life, some of which actually happened.” 

You’re not born with fear. You learned it.

The movie The Tale of Despereaux is a lesson on how to train an optimistic mouse to be mousy. (Spoiler alert – they didn’t succeed.) 

The Mother instructed: “You can’t be a mouse if you don’t learn to be afraid… There are so many wonderful things in life to be afraid of – if you just learn how scary they are.” 

The timid older brother adds: “Sometimes they just need to see the older ones do it. No one starts out afraid.” 

Guidance given to the parents: “He won’t be afraid unless you allow him to be afraid.” 

What are you afraid of?

Controlling others through trying to shut them up doesn’t just  happen on the other side of the world. We do it to ourselves. 

We’re all bullied by limiting perspectives and illusions that we believe are true. 

For example, do you avoid any of these? 

  • Confrontation – so you steer clear of people and situations?
  • Contacting someone and being rejected – so you procrastinate?
  • Telling the truth – so you tell little lies as a cover up?
  • Taking action to live your dream – so you settle for existing rather than living? 

Avoidance is another way you terrorize yourself. It’s a way of shutting you up and shutting you down from really living by keeping you in your place. 

It’s time to speak up and be heard. LISTEN to your heart and soul. 

If you want others to listen to you, start by listening to yourself! 

Here are seven steps to help you LIVE your life: 

  1. Breathe deeply in a relaxed way.
  2. Write your ideal life.
  3. Write what your life is like right now.
  4. Ask your soul for clear communication.
  5. What steps can you take to align your ideal and what is?
  6. Take consistent action – even if it’s one small step at a time.
  7. Choose to make changes gently, with grace and ease.

 The answers may differ from what you now think.

At first they may not make sense. You may glimpse a piece rather than the whole puzzle. You may see an image rather than words.

Don’t judge them. You’re opening communication and learning your language. If you’re not sure what the answers mean, ask again.

Take a moment now.

Ask your soul to speak up: LOUDLY so you can hear; CLEARLY so you understand without a shadow of a doubt.

The time to be afraid of the bogeyman is gone.

A rose proudly shares its beauty, even though its life is short. A tarantula boldly lives its life for what it is – a tarantula.

It’s time to live your life to the fullest. Empower yourself by asking your soul to speak up – and listen.

ENJOY YOURSELF: YOU’LL MAKE MORE MONEY, GET MORE DONE

August 2, 2010

Do you take time to enjoy yourself? Or do you have so much to do that you:

  • Don’t have room in your busy schedule
  • Would be irresponsible to take time out to have fun
  • Would feel guilty and not really be able to enjoy yourself
  • Forgot what having fun looks/feels like
  • Don’t have energy left after taking care of others’ needs
  • Are busy trying to survive. Enjoy? You gotta be kidding!

Enjoying a field of wildflowers

A client had a business that would take a host of people to replace her. An accident last year slowed her down for a while, yet she still felt compelled to drive herself from one activity to the next.

Consistent cash flow eluded her. She’d let go of her fear of running out of money and then clutch worry and anxiety like a familiar, battered security blanket that tripped her as she walked.

She felt relief when she decided to transfer her business to an associate. Sales soared, and she “felt so good to let everything go.”

Then circumstances changed, and she decided to keep her business. Although money kept coming, fear crept back. “I don’t want this abundance to stop.”

Not long after she caught a cold, and it was painful to speak. What was going on? We put the pieces together.

Auto immune deficiencies and colds are signals your body sends that you don’t feel supported by yourself.

“Are you supporting yourself to be true to you or to a lifestyle you’ve created but don’t really enjoy? When you don’t feel supported, your physical body reflects it.

“That’s why it’s important to build healthy self-esteem as it affects everything. It raises your energy beyond illness. It helps you make choices to flow with life instead of floating in an illusion of confusion.”

Bells went off. She’d been getting nudges to take care of herself. She realized the cold was her spirit’s way of reminding her to slow down and not go back to old habits.

I asked, “You’re so busy. How can you have more time for you?”

She replied:

  • “It’s my time and that’s going to happen – nothing’s going to get in the way. I’ll just make it happen.
  • “I’ve cut back on my responsibilities, and I’m not taking on more”

Her being resolved came from her clarity.

What was she going to do with her extra time? Unless a space is filled when a vacuum is created, life will fill it. Often it’s with a default pattern, such as overwork, that was diligently released for more creative choices.

Her inner voice had been nudging her for weeks:

  • Use a massage gift certificate she had for a couple of years.
  • Hire a personal trainer. She didn’t like what she saw in the mirror.
  • Eat healthier foods.
  • Take 15 minutes every day to just sit on the porch for quiet time.
  • Have a journal nearby to write down ideas.

Her excitement quickly grew.

She realized that when she takes care of herself, she feels good. When she feels good, she generates more income. When she enjoys herself, she gets more done. But it takes trust.

Trust…to let go of doing whatever it takes to maintain status quo.

Courage… to follow your heart into an unknown change.

Faith… to believe you’re led wisely, beyond what you conceived with your best thinking.

Mama trusted her newborn to wait for her on my porch

No time to enjoy life?

If you feel you don’t have enough time, you’re reflecting lack – a lack of time. This echoes other forms of lack and not enough – such as money, love, fulfillment and health.

When you most need to take time for you is when you don’t think you have the time to take the time. (Yeah, read that one again.)

If you’ve been getting nudges to make a change, start now with small steps. If you don’t like how you started, start again and again, if needed.

The key is to do it without judgment. Don’t beat yourself up if you haven’t taken time to have fun and enjoy yourself. That’s totally counter productive.

Learning is a process – a layer at a time.

Ducks enjoying a walk in the park.

Life isn’t meant to be an endurance test. It’s a gift for you to appreciate and enjoy.

Everyone is going through a moment of truth now more than ever. It’s not just you.

  • Biggest fears are front and center.
  • What’s been denied or put off to look at can no longer be avoided.
  • Challenges are revealed to be dealt with.
  • The charade is fading, and it’s time to be real.

The process is usually uncomfortable so it gets your attention. Action becomes less painful than toleration.

Why is this happening to you? Because from your very essence, your soul is guiding you to live in greater joy, in closer alignment with who you really are. And, from this authentic place, express your gifts to the world.

It’s time for an awakening – to remember life is not meant to be laborious and a struggle but to be lived more true to you than ever before.

The question is how conscious do you choose to be in the process? How hard do you make it? You can choose to learn your lessons in a gentle way by decreeing it so.

At the end of your life you can look back with no regrets and say, “I learned a lot. I loved. And I enjoyed the ride.”

Enjoying life is your litmus test to know if you’re living in alignment with your soul.

Your head tells you what you think you should do, which isn’t always supportive to you or others. Your soul guides to be in a rhythm with life. Which is which? Ask yourself if you’re really enjoying all aspects of your life?

Make the connection. Let’s summarize:

  • When you feel good about you and enjoy life, you attract good things.
  • Because you feel life has more meaning than day-to-day concerns, you’re happier.
  • Because you’re happier, your activities flow more smoothly.
  • When it does, you make more money and are more effective at whatever you do.
  • This generates more productivity, and you get more done.
  • You live inspired, creative and express your precious gifts with the world.

Even in hardship, you can appreciate and enjoy being alive. It’s a perspective.

If you see life as hard, one challenge after another, waiting for the other shoe to fall, what else can go wrong – you’re not in the flow.

You can choose to see it as opportunities to learn and grow, appreciate acts of kindness and focus on gratitude and love.

Enjoying life is not frivolous, an aside to what’s really important or an optional cherry on the cake. It’s the cake.

What can you do to enjoy yourself more? Take time to do it because it’s YOUR life, and your life is not a means to an end. There are no brownie points to endure it. Instead, make conscious choices to enjoy your gift of being alive.

You deserve to enjoy yourself, and you are so very much worth it.

FEEL STUCK? 4 TIPS TO GET OUT OF YOUR RUT – PART 3

July 12, 2010

If you don’t want to wait until you’re hanging off a cliff before you let go (only to discover you’re just a few inches off the ground), here’s a tool to overcome procrastination and propel you to take action.

PARTNER by contacting a trusted friend or co-worker who has a project to complete, too, for an Accountability Sandwich.

What’s this? It’s a technique to receive support to take action. For example, one person may want help to focus on cleaning the desk and another on doing a task.

Steps to take are simple:

  1. Set a time in advance to contact each other by phone or email to start your projects.
  2. Contact each other at that time. The purpose is to say a quick hi, specifically state what you plan to accomplish and set a time to check back.
  3. Take action on your project.
  4. Check back at the appointed time with your updates by phone or email.
  5. If you’re incomplete, set another time to do the work and check back.

Once I organized my office, in spite of watching TV and taking a nap after the first call. I wasn’t about to report I gave up so, with a late start, I took action. Momentum kicked in before the second call. Although past the check in time, I enthusiastically accomplished my goal by night’s end.

TIP #3: Stop trying to do everything yourself. Ask for and receive quality support through PARTNERING by using an Accountability Sandwich, a technique that’s fun, inspires action and works.