Archive for the ‘Enjoy Life’ Category

Guilt, Know-It-Alls & Being #1

November 6, 2017

Wire

Are you in a self-imposed prison with freedom in view?

 

Feeling guilty had been drilled into her by her family throughout her life.

When my client was at the top, business associates and family triggered these guilty feelings by their passive-aggressive behaviors. She felt like she was doing something wrong.

Not feeling good about the price she paid for her success, her sales slipped.

People in her family had jobs. Furthermore, what’s a woman doing being successful, especially in her own business?! They had to work hard in their employment; why should she be any different?

She didn’t realize it was their own jealousy, insecurity, a need to control and their disappointment in themselves for not going after their dreams that were the underlying culprits of others’ manipulative behaviors.

Ever hear of the lobster syndrome or the crab mentality?

When either of these is alone in a lidless container, it can escape.

However, when sharing their enclosure, none can get out because they will be pulled back down, even into boiling water.

In society or business, this can happen when people are bettering themselves, and others try to bring them down.

How can they do that? Through guilt, fear, making others feel they’re doing something wrong, shunning, shaming and the threat of being ostracized if they don’t fit in with the community.

Some religions exert control by indoctrinating their followers with the fear of damnation or how their future lives will be affected.

Previously, my client couldn’t stay away from her cell phone out of fear of missing calls from prospective customers. Working hard is acceptable as a road to success.

So when she fulfilled her goal of a five-week vacation, and still remained #1, it was at the expense of others’ disparaging remarks.

Even though at the top of her game and years away from what most consider retirement age, she couldn’t stop thinking about leaving the business world behind.

She told me about a close friend and business associate. “There’s something about him lately that rubs me the wrong way – so I’ve distanced myself — although we’re working on a deal together. With him, it’s a debate or he knows some expertise about things. He’s done and knows everything.”

She was exhausted by critical people: if it’s not done their way, then in their way of looking at things, it’s being done wrong.

“Because I am surrounded by that thinking and attitude, my cup runneth over with this. My response is to disassociate with people who have these behaviors.”

When I asked where she’s seen those patterns before, she recalled that her mother and sister had the same habit of being critical know-it-alls. Both parents ruled by creating guilt in others.

We discussed that no matter where you go, there you are. If she continued to react, she’d attract more people who would act the same, wherever she went.

She realized that unless she changed, even if she left her business, she’d continue to run into similar, annoying behaviors from others.


Programmed from childhood, traits like lack of confidence, guilt and worry can prompt you to continue brainwashing yourself with limiting beliefs, even when those who put these ideas in your head aren’t around. 

Don’t listen to your inner, critical voice that bullies you and makes you question your ability to succeed or be happy. It lies.

That nagging voice reflects how the people who told you that nonsense feel about themselves. It’s not about you.

Your true essence guides you with a kind, non-judgmental and supportive voice.


Her insight: this session made her step back and look at the bigger picture.

She realized that she won’t be affected by others when she has a different perspective. And when her buttons are no longer pushed, she won’t attract people who think like that.

By the way, she’s back to being #1 and having her best year ever. Life is more fun, and she feels free now that she no longer reacts to guilt trips and know-it-alls in the way she did before.

You can step out of your self-imposed prison of any limiting beliefs, even if you don’t know what’s holding you back.

Start by having confidence that believing in yourself brings.

Remember, those voices to the contrary are figments of someone else’s imagination that they projected on you.

Freedom and success are yours if you’re open to receive them.

P.S. Know someone who might enjoy this post? Please share.

 
I work with people, at any age,
who choose to share their gifts
or business in a BIGGER way
but don’t know how, feel stuck
or would benefit from new tools
or support.

I help them be richly compensated
doing what they love by aligning
with their Soul’s goals.

Copyright © 2017 Resolved for Results, All rights reserved.

Advertisements

Are You Satisfied or Settling?

October 30, 2017

Shaw - create yourself

What you want and what inspires you to feel happy changes over time.

Your focus as a baby is different from when you’re a young adult ready to launch a new phase of this human adventure and varies at every stage of you being alive.

Likewise, what satisfies you shapeshifts.

Perhaps you are on or have had a financially safe and profitable career path, and you keep telling yourself that you should be happy. However, if you’re honest with yourself, it may be unfulfilling and you want more — something different, more meaningful with more money, more time and more fun.

Maybe you’re unsatisfied and are ready to make a change, but you believe it’s too impractical, you’re too old in today’s market to do something different or you don’t know what else you’d do that will pay you enough.

So you settle.

Once I met a man at a party who had to close his business a couple of years prior to our conversation.

He was an adamant advocate of his limited beliefs. It was too late to start anything else. It took him twenty years to build his old business, and it would take that long to do it again. That’s a fact. Period. There was no other way of looking at it.

He couldn’t see that maybe, in his recreation of his next step, it could be easier and success could come faster. His view was that this was impossible.

I remembered the saying, don’t try to teach a pig how to fly. First, pigs can’t fly. Second, you just irritate the pig.

Mind you, he wasn’t a pig. But I could see that he got irritated thinking beyond his self-imposed doom.

Although he appeared to be a nice man, he was one of the unhappiest and most negative people I’ve ever met.


There is a way to manifest your heart’s desire that exceeds your wildest imagination. It starts by getting in touch with the soul of your goal.

Following is an excerpt from my Resolved for Results program.

Have you ever desired something and, when you got it, realized it wasn’t what you really wanted? You asked for a specific outcome but didn’t clarify the soul of your goal, its essence.

Well, that explains the divorce rate.

Have you ever desired something, got something else instead, and then realized it was better than what you asked for? You tapped into the soul of your goal…

The soul of your goal satisfies the true intention of your objective. You feel fulfilled and happy when you achieve a goal that has the essence of what you choose and frustrated or disappointed when you don’t…

Even if you don’t know how to label what you want, you can identify the soul of your goal.

If you’re ready for change, even if you can’t describe what it looks like specifically, you can receive satisfying results.

A friend told me that she got what she asked for but not what she wanted:

  • A woman, who cared for others, wondered when it was going to be her turn to be taken care of. She found out when her health challenges required years of daily caretaking by others.

 Lacking clarity on the soul of your goal can bring less than satisfying results.


While there are simple steps to clarify and align yourself with the soul of your goal, here’s something that may help you to start. Again It’s from my Resolved for Results program:

TIP: Clear and conscious intentions create a blueprint of what you choose. They replace unconscious pictures you carry from default programming. You attract what you energize with clarity and feeling.

Your brain may not be able to fathom how your goals can occur. However, if your intention is in alignment with the soul of your goal, miracles happen.

You don’t have to settle! You can go beyond trying to find yourself, a better life, career or business. You can be satisfied by consciously creating your ideal life or something better!

P.S. Know someone who might enjoy this post? Please share.

I work with people, at any age,
who choose to share their gifts

or business in a BIGGER way
but don’t know how, feel stuck
or would benefit from new tools
or support.

I help them be richly compensated
doing what they love by aligning
with their Soul’s goals.

Copyright © 2017 Resolved for Results, All rights reserved

“I Honestly Didn’t Think I’d Ever… Be Happy.”

October 16, 2017

 

Depressed icelandic sculpture (2)

Sad Statue in Reykjavik, Iceland

 

“I think Virginia has met the person she can’t help,” confessed my client about her previous thoughts. However, feeling better than the dark pit she’d been in for years, she decided to take my Resolved for Results program a second time.

At 60-years-old, she told me she was “habitually, genetically, psychologically, emotionally and medically depressed.” 

For over ten years, she was “flatlined, checked out and not showing much interest in anything.” Add to that traits she learned during her childhood from an emotionally unstable parent: judgmental and overly critical of others and herself.

We met at a gym many years earlier. She recalled that I was friendly towards her and did some kind of work about career and business. She thought about contacting me but never did.

Just before her divorce from a 27-year marriage and leaving the house she helped to design and build, she reached out for help.

“I had to do something different. I had to trust someone because my voice, what I had been telling myself, wasn’t reliable.”

This was a world away from who she was at 16-years-old.

As a teenager, she was an apprentice to an artist from whom she received extensive lessons and even traveled with this man and his family. Visiting them every summer in Santa Fe, they became another set of parents to her for seven years.

It was during their trip to Mexico that he developed his distinctive style that catapulted him to become a world-famous artist whose work is now displayed in the Smithsonian.

Eventually, they went their separate ways.

My client married a good man and joined him to create a successful, construction business.  She believed she “should” have been happy, yet she spiraled down into an ever-deepening depression.

She beat herself up heavily for this, wondering what was wrong with her.

Used to blaming herself, she didn’t realize her self-proclaimed fault wasn’t the reason for how she felt.

Not doing what she loved was at the core of her depression.

She talked herself into believing this didn’t matter, yet she now sees that “this was the key to my soul!”

How she went from “the dark side” to the light.

My client began to experience feeling up and then returned to her familiar down periods. As she learned new tools and perspectives, she was able to sustain feeling good for longer periods of time.

Yet, she didn’t trust feeling light because it was different from the darkness that became her uncomfortable, comfort zone.

Unbeknownst to her, she’d been in preparation for when her new self emerged, which she now calls “a person I don’t even know who’s now come back.”

When her famed teacher came to her town, she felt well enough emotionally and mentally to attend his exhibit with another artist friend.

Little did she realize that being in this environment would trigger her turning point. Her spark for living reignited, and her whole life transformed into a joy that she didn’t believe she’d ever experience.

One month since her “shift” and in a few days from the time of my writing this, she’ll be a guest at this artist’s home in Santa Fe, New Mexico, for a couple of weeks. After, she’ll visit friends in Colorado, a trip she wasn’t up to making a few months ago.


Because of her extra-ordinary and personal background as his student and apprentice as well as being considered one of the family, she’s enthusiastically considering a professional recommendation to write a memoir about her experience with this artist and his early days.

It took her nine months to make this dramatic turnaround and overcome more than a decade of sadness and inertia. She got her life back.

“Before and during the beginning of my working with you, I never believed that I would be anything other than dark and depressed.”

There was no way she would have dreamed up or planned the way life orchestrated what’s now happening.

Her change was possible because she:

  • Resolved to change
  • Got help
  • Gained clarity
  • Let go of the past
  • Unveiled and released beliefs she didn’t know were holding her back
  • Learned new tools and perspectives
  • Followed the positive voice in her head instead of the negative ones
  • Set powerful intentions. 

All of these changed her energy, which led her to be at the right place at the right time and willing to receive her heartfelt desires and happiness… even though they seemed impossible!  


One month after meeting her old teacher, she sent me this text:

“Still up!!!

I honestly didn’t think it would ever happen.

Thank you for believing in me and teaching me how to be happy.”

After years of isolating herself and being withdrawn from the world, now she “can’t stop talking.”

Her enthusiasm for life is contagious.

She told me, “I can’t thank you enough. You saved my life.”

It’s never too late to do what you love and be happy!

Don’t give up.

It’s worth overcoming your mental chatter and limiting beliefs that you can’t do what you love because of fill in the blank reasons.

You are worth it.

You can be financially successful. You can build your business to stellar levels, enjoy your ideal work or share your gifts in a BIGGER way.

You can be happy.

Starting now, you can create your best life ever! It’s your choice.


 

I work with people, at any age, who choose to share their gifts or business in a BIGGER way but don’t know how, feel stuck or would benefit from new tools or support. I help them be richly compensated doing what they love by aligning with their Soul’s goals.
Copyright © 2017 Resolved for Results, All rights reserved.

Are Crazy People Taking Over Your Life?

September 18, 2017

 

 

Homer's scream

One afternoon, while on Broadway in midtown Manhattan, New York City, I walked a few people behind a man who was having an animated argument with someone. Speaking in a loud voice with gesticulating hands, I wondered who was the recipient of such a tirade.

It was just him battling with himself.

Someone and something really got to this guy, and he allowed it to drive him to act crazy.

Throughout your life, some people have done you wrong, and some may have gotten to you.

In the past (or maybe present), you’ve been:

  • abused, misused, ignored, rejected, undermined, betrayed, robbed, disappointed, manipulated, misunderstood, humiliated, put down or the focal point of someone’s greedy, crazy, unconscious, demeaning, insecure, unfair or malevolent intent.

Often the perpetrators have been those most trusted and least expected to turn on you, such as:

  • close friends, family, significant others, church members, neighbors, co-workers, clients, bosses or business associates.

The results may have left you feeling that you’ve lost:

  • hope, your confidence, your spark of life, your capacity to find joy, your ability to ever succeed again or even care about it, your connection to the universe or your faith in God.

“The most important question you can ever ask is if the world is a friendly place.”  Einstein


It’s a big question to ponder. Your answer determines if you’re going to let the crazies, past and present, or less-than-favorable circumstances get to you, and consequently, impede your ability to be open to the success and enjoyment you richly deserve.

Are you letting undesirable memories occupy your attention so much that you won’t allow yourself to see that the world is a friendly place?

Often we’re attached to how we expect people and things are supposed to be. When they go haywire, our ego/ brain loves to binge watch reruns of movies about our sad stories over and over again.

Instead, change the channel and focus on something in your life that works.

Relitigating your past by vacillating between trying to prove how you’re right and “how dare they” doesn’t help. Have you noticed? You won’t end up feeling better, and feeling good is important as it’s a key to attract success.

Personally, instead of letting go of my faith in life and humanity, I (eventually) learned to have greater discernment.

As Kenny Rogers sang in “The Gambler:”

You’ve got to know when to hold ’em

Know when to fold ’em

Know when to walk away

And know when to run.

Some people in my life who appeared to be helpful, trustworthy, supportive, emotionally healthy, well-meaning and even spiritually awake… I came to realize were toxic.

I could grumble about them incessantly, which I’ve done. I found it more useful, though, to see them as my teachers: learn my lessons, chalk it off to another life experience and move on.


It took me a while to see people for who they are, not for who I thought they were or wanted them to be.   


Here’s an interesting twist.

Underneath this crazymaking, there’s a whole lot of disapproval going on.

Sometimes the other person starts it, and we respond back with disapproval and judgment, or vice versa.

When we enmesh ourselves in disapproval energy, we give others the power to control our happiness — from complete strangers whose driving we don’t like to annoying people in our day-to-day lives.

When we expect others to behave or show up in a certain way so we can feel good about ourselves, in essence we’re saying:

You need to change so I don’t have to change. My caring about you is conditional. It’s dependent on you acting the way I think you should. Otherwise, I might feel that I’ve lost control.

When the awareness comes that we alone have control of our attitude, then we don’t need others to be different so we can feel good.

Of course, do what’s wise to take care of yourself, but you get to choose your attitude.

Energy changes when practicing this. The crazies start to evaporate from your life like the morning fog when the sun comes up.

Do you allow others to affect your psyche, your joy of living, your success, your ability to pick yourself up and start again regardless of whoever or whatever happened or is happening to you?

It’s your choice.

With gratitude,

Virginia

I work with people, at any age, who choose to share their gifts or business in a BIGGER way but don’t know how, feel stuck or would benefit from new tools or support. I help them be richly compensated doing what they love by aligning with their Soul’s goals.  

Copyright © 2017 Resolved for Results, All rights reserved.

Are You Having Fun Yet?

June 26, 2017

 

I was fortunate. I didn’t lose my home or life from floods that caused FEMA to take residence in my town for several months a couple of years ago. However, months of dealing with mold in my house and body took a heavy toll on my health and finances.

Even though three vets told me there was nothing to do for my sick cat, and one suggested I put her to sleep, she decided she wasn’t ready to go and stayed with me for two more years. This translated to round-the-clock caretaking that exhausted me.

After all that passed, including my precious companion, I knew it was essential to go out and participate in life again.

Otherwise, my focus would’ve been stuck on the adversities of my past. As like attracts like, it would’ve put me on a downward spiral to the “same ole, same (challenging) ole.”

A road trip beckoned that awakened me to enjoy life. Since then, I’ve been finding ways to have fun and laugh – from an entertaining drag show to an airboat ride on the Colorado River to a free Bollywood dance class on the same stage that the ballet uses. For months, every week I saw new-to-me performances, including music from around the world to The Temptations and Four Tops.

Additionally, there were art museums, plays, ziplining, hiking at state parks, restaurants, massages and a sake tour.

There are magnets on my fridge holding ticket stubs and flyers from the many programs I attended, reminding me to continue to play.

By the way, thanks to online deals from companies like Groupon, LivingSocial and Travelzoo, fun things to do can be found super cheap. Many museums have a day or weekend every month where you can go for free, and some concert halls offer 2 for 1 specials.

In the process of getting out, I rested, had fun, got my mojo back and felt like I was living again. My business grew, too.

When I decided it was time to settle down and get back to work, and didn’t go out for a few weeks, my business and income slowed down, too! 


I remember the exact instance, before I started to play, when this thought came to me:  If I died and went to the other side, what would I say I’d done for myself?

My answer was: I almost got caught up. So many things on my To Do list were getting done, but there was so much left to do. And, yes, I’ve helped a lot of people and have accomplishments.

But what about me?

What would you say about how you’ve had fun and taken care of yourself?


I’ve recognized that when I don’t take time to play, the inflow and outflow of life energy becomes out of balance.

It reminds me of Mastermind Principle #6 from my course Resolved for Results:  I believe I am worthy and deserve to achieve my goals or something better, and I choose to use my personal empowerment on my behalf, which allows me to serve life more fully.

What’s your legacy beyond family, work, accomplishments and making money?

Are you having fun yet?

Life is designed to be satisfying. If it’s not, it’s time to change your perspective, and do something different.

The weird thing is that when we break free from primarily focusing on the dutiful acts that we have to do, and include time to play, our lives, business and work improve.

Old age is no longer another notch on the yearly calendar. Age is a state of mind. A way of being.

Look at life as energy and vibration. When you raise your energy by having fun, you’re on the wavelength to attract longevity, more money, better clients, relationships and health.

If you haven’t already, you now can give yourself permission to play, have fun and enjoy the rich variety that the world has to offer.

Before, I didn’t even know what it meant to play.

Where to start? Find one activity that looks interesting and do it.

Have you ever been not that hungry? Then after a eating few bites, you realized you couldn’t stop. Playing and fun can be like that, too.

By creating more fun, as well as sharing it, you might even spark romance!

Are you ready to make this lifetime count beyond work, duties and survival? Go have fun!

With playful gratitude,

Virginia

P.S. Know someone who might enjoy reading this? Please forward.

I work with people who choose to share their gifts or business in a BIGGER way but don’t know how or feel stuck. I help them ignite their Soul’s goals and be richly compensated doing what they love.

This Stops You From Getting What You Want

January 23, 2017

cow-india

Sacred Cow: an idea, custom, or institution held, especially unreasonably, to be above criticism (with reference to the Hindus’ respect for the cow as a sacred animal).” from Bing

Historically for Hindus, cows provided food, fuel, disinfectant and fertilizer. In other words, cows were needed for survival. Eating the cow for meat works for the moment, but there goes the source of milk, dried cow dung for fuel, fertilizer and more.

How can leaders communicate to the masses not to kill their cows? Make them sacred. Make killing them taboo.

Likewise, we have beliefs that made sense once upon a time, like telling children not to talk with strangers.

However, especially if you’re in business or working with the public as an adult where talking with new people is essential, this pattern can thwart your success.

In humble prayer: God, I’ll do anything you want. Anything. Except see that one little thing? Not that. Otherwise, anything.

God replies: Focusing on that one thing is the only thing I ask of you now.

That which is so sacred to you, that idea or belief that you don’t want to consider, can be the one thing that stops you from getting what you want.

It’s usually some way you’ve always done things, the way you’ve always thought or felt – even if it doesn’t work or makes you feel unhappy.

What if you based your thinking on a few faulty or limited premises?

Don’t you go asking me about my mama. Although therein can lie the key to your self-esteem and ability to set boundaries.

That’s sacred cow/ sacred belief territory. Back off. However, those who have the courage to look can find freedom.

Those type of entrenched neural pathways in your brain can make you feel that you have to chew on distressing thoughts  – that’s just a habit to keep you spinning in circles.

The ego wants to figure things out, and in doing so, you can stay stuck for years wanting to understand and know why… because it’s so complicated.

That habit of thinking is a trap, like the Sirens calling the boats to shore so they’ll crash.

Do what Odysseus did for his crew. Put metaphoric wax in your ears. Restrain yourself from the addictive pull of the way you usually think; it’s easier to do when you refocus your attention on happier things.

Maybe the lesson to be learned is to let go and take your life back.

Beliefs are only thoughts you repeatedly think. You HAVE the power to think other thoughts. Choose to stop letting others and circumstances control what goes on in your head and influence how you feel.

My church tells me such-and-such, so I can’t consider anything else.

Every week as part of the religious service when I was a kid, I thrice hit my heart with my fist as I spoke aloud three times: “Lord, I’m not worthy.”

Talk about pounding a (false) belief into the body.

In my family we always follow tradition. So a man became a lawyer even though his heart wasn’t in it, he wanted to be in another profession, felt miserable – and his wallet reflected it.

When companies go through changes, they often challenge the way things have always been done – the sacred cows of their culture or systems.

What beliefs do you hold so dearly that they’re beyond criticism, beyond your examination that they might not be true?

Your sacred cow beliefs may be the very ones holding you back from getting what you want – happiness, more money and success, better relationships, health and business.

Summon the courage to look. Journal about it.

You can live your dreams, be happy, be richly compensated doing what you love, and invest in yourself instead of taking care of everyone else.

What a concept.

Why not be happy? Only your sacred cow beliefs will tell you a limiting answer because your essence only chooses for you to be free and enjoy life.

P.S. If you feel this sacred cow message might be moo-sic to someone’s ears, please forward.

I work with people who choose to share their gifts or business in a BIGGER way but don’t know how, feel stuck or would benefit from new tools or support. I help them ignite their Soul’s goals and be richly compensated doing what they love.

Copyright © 2017 Resolved for Results, All rights reserved.

Are You Running Away From Your Fear?

January 17, 2017

girl-and-stuffed-animal

Your success accelerates and happiness blooms when you let go of fear and the ego’s grasp.

Fear subtly whispers what if the worse happens. It can have you look calm or cheerful, but inside quiet trepidation runs like a persistent, low grade fever. It can breed a full-blown panic humbling you to beg a divine power for help – hoping/doubting if anyone is listening to your prayers or wondering if they’ll bother to answer them.

Fear can masquerade as anger, frustration, pain, avoidance, blaming, complaining, feeling like a victim, sadness, apathy, bullying, guilt, rescuing, suffering as well as every facet of unhappiness.

Fear creates lack of clarity and direction while triggering procrastination or immobilizing you from taking action, dreading that you’ll make a mistake and then you-know-what will hit the fan.

Although miserable to experience, these outcomes provide a compelling distraction from looking at the culprit – your underlying fear.

However, just like in the Wizard of Oz when the curtain was pulled back, there’s nothing substantive to fear.

  1. Fear is only a scary story in your head.
  2. You can more effectively deal with real issues when you’re not emotionally clouded.
  3. You continue to attract unwanted circumstances until you stop running away from your fear, let it go and see it for what it is: a no-thing.
  4. You only attract what you can handle, so there’s no reason to fear anything. 

When you stop thinking and talking about your problems as if you’re in a Stephen King novel, you stop generating your real-life, horror stories.

FEAR = False Evidence Appearing Real.

The ego will lead you to believe that you’ll have more pain if you look at your fear.

However, it’s the embellished, painful narratives of what horrible fate might happen in the future or remembering what happened in the past that snags you.

When you focus on the past and future, you bypass present time, and this is where your personal empowerment dwells.

How can you know if you’re doing this? Listen to your own stories. What’s the timeline – past, present or future?

Ego will play you like a fiddle – directing your attention to what you don’t have (like enough money, time, love, health, direction or success), past and future worries, anywhere but the Now.

If you allow yourself to look at your inner bogeyman, with an intention of letting it go, you’ll find freedom.

Ask for your inner spirit to shine your courage so you can let go of fear and find the tools and support to release what’s holding you back.

You can begin now:

  • Be willing to let go.
  • Ask for help – inwardly and outwardly.
  • Journal to bring clarity and with the intention of letting go.
  • Open to receive a life and business that exceeds your wildest expectations.

When you feel afraid you give your power away. Choose to take it back.

If you don’t get this job or deal, you can get another.

If one way doesn’t work, it’s not the end of the world. Another can be even better. (By the way, I used to be a master at making mountains out of molehills, so I know how much anxiety, pain and self-destruction this habit generates.)

No person, circumstance, financial condition, politician, economic outlook, industry predictions, threats, doctor’s diagnosis, the past or unknown future can affect you unless you let it.

Dwelling on fear or what doesn’t work is emotional quicksand that sabotages your success.

A woman told me about a dream she had with a ferocious lion. Instead of running away, she walked toward it and through it. It had no substance.

You pay a high price for letting fear run your life. Drama. Stress. Challenging relationships. Attracting more fear than money. Confusion. Unconsciously repelling business. Poor health. A life that doesn’t feel like it’s worth living.

You can change now.

Make a decision that instead of listening to the nagging, fear-based story in your head, and judging yourself for having it, you’ll focus on what you choose and what’s working.

Results? You’re happier. Your business and finances grow. You attract love from all the right places. Your health improves.

You’re worth it.

I work with people who choose to share their gifts or business in a BIGGER way but don’t know how, feel stuck or would benefit from new tools or support. I help them ignite their Soul’s goals and be richly compensated doing what they love.

Copyright © 2017 Resolved for Results, All rights reserved.

Be honest. You want this more than anything.

January 10, 2017

man-with-rainbow-pexels

Let’s cut to the chase.

Regardless if you wrote New Year’s resolutions or goals for this year, you know one thing. Parts of your life work and others not so much.

You probably grumble about what you don’t like, either a little or you’re running a full-length movie.

Why do you feel this way? Because you don’t feel good that some things are the way they are.

I know this is simple. However, it provides a BIG clue to what you want more than anything.

First, let’s look at some basics you might enjoy improving:

  • Better health – You’re so done with those niggly or essential health issues and emotional stresses that you’ve been tolerating.
  • Higher quality relationships – Enough with people who are your fill-in-the-blank pet peeve. Bring on the love.
  • Increased financial success – You’re tired of the worry or limitations from not having the cha-ching to enjoy whatever you choose in life. Or you’re afraid of losing what you have.
  • Fulfilling career/ business/ doing what you love – It’s high time for your creativity to shine more brightly and for you to revel in what you do – or discover what that is.
  • Positive growth in all ways – Physical, emotional, mental, spiritual: you’re ready to bring out more of the best of you.

What will having these do for you?

You’ll feel good. You’ll feel happy. You’ll feel that life is worth living.

Everything you desire is because, underneath, you believe it will bring you what you want more than anything.

Happiness.

This is good feeling mojo, and it impacts your attitude and creates momentum to enjoy life.

By identifying what creates happiness for you, and using this as your personal GPS, you’ll discover fulfillment and success.

Yes, we’re still focusing on simple, but look what often happens.

People put up with others and situations that could be changed by redirecting their attention with a dose of clarity, confidence and courage.

Mulling over unhappy stories of the way things are, aka excuses and erroneous beliefs, keeps us unhappy … until circumstances snap us out of our fixed thinking, the burden of pain becomes too great or we make a conscious choice to do what it takes to let go and change.

A woman wasn’t happy with her job, but for fifteen years she believed this is what social work is like everywhere.

Circumstances changed, and she found an identical job in another office that she loved. Her beliefs about work weren’t true, and the limiting story she told herself kept her stuck.

For years, an unhappy husband held himself back from enjoying life because of his sick wife. He patiently waited for her to die. She outlived him by ten years.

Many have a high tolerance for pain and put up with things waaay too long.

What makes you feel unhappy? Your spirit is giving you a clue. Do something differently.

You may have to walk through your fear or sacred cow beliefs to do it.

It’s of little importance if you don’t know the big picture of where you’re going or you don’t know how to do whatever. Age, your past history, your health, your degree of stuckness or frustration or confusion do NOT matter!

Start with baby steps toward what makes you feel good, and they’ll lead you to what you need.

In my late twenties, while in a toxic situation that shattered my health and felt like a five-year prison sentence, I had a dream with a message. I didn’t understand it at the time, but I wrote it on scrap paper and put it on my dresser.

Find your heart and rescue it.

In my early forties, I cried miserably as I walked alone in my neighborhood at night because none of the above mentioned “basics” were working for me. (By the way, that was my turning point to start coaching.)

You can turn anything around to your benefit, and use this present moment as your springboard to create more joy.

Be patient with yourself.

One day, your life will flash before your eyes. Create a movie you’ll enjoy seeing because you’re happy.

 

I work with people who choose to share their gifts or business in a BIGGER way but don’t know how, feel stuck or would benefit from new tools or support. I help them ignite their Soul’s goals and be richly compensated doing what they love.

Copyright © 2017 Resolved for Results, All rights reserved.

TIP: What Were You Thinking and How It Affects You Now

December 5, 2016
 guy-on-bench
A woman I’ve known for decades, who used to be very involved with a spiritual practice, has been sending toxic emails.

She doesn’t check information to see if it’s true. Or they’re about disgruntled people who are challenged with a world that changed. Or she’ll take a positive message and skew it to be negative. And, I suppose, there are some valuable ideas, but to find them means wading through venom.

I replied to one of her emails that this is a season of unconditional love, and a way to it is being non-judgmental.

She answered, “Judgmental, unconditional love, spiritual beliefs… I definitely don’t fall under the PC situation… I have to keep it real for me, my truth. It may ruffle some people’s feathers but that’s what this world is for, experiences and finding out what we need to find out.”

Bah humbug. The spirit of Christmas is now just another way of being politically correct.

Gee, and here I thought that, underneath it all, the world is for Love.

How does her worldview affect her?

In other emails, she shared that she can get depressed.

Yet, she feels compelled that others see life through her passionate yet angry rants – under the guise of keeping it real and telling her truth.

In the past, I would listen endlessly to people’s sad stories and emotionally charged viewpoints.  I thought I was helping by holding space for them to share and be heard.

I’ve since learned that an extended focus on what doesn’t work is a disservice and adds fuel to a perspective that caused them distress. It only helps them to pick up momentum toward what they don’t like, which affects their health, finances, relationships or happiness.

This includes not validating sob stories I might conjure up about what I don’t like in my life or what’s not working the way I think it should.

If gently redirecting the conversation doesn’t work, I do what I can to exit with grace and ease.

My clients learn how to notice resistance and shift it, too.

To live with good feeling mojo is a simple concept. Feel good.

The more you think and feel good, the better your life becomes… your dreams magically start coming true. 

This weekend, I had the privilege of being invited on a trip to enjoy rock art (pictographs the ancients painted on cave walls).

Although we were rained out from that part of our trip, we enjoyed a wonderful walk, a night in a cabin perched above the lower Pecos River plus a day in Mexico.

I listened to stories of how the rock art and area in and around Seminole Canyon State Park in south Texas transformed my friend after a personal family tragedy.

Since then, not only is she deeply passionate about rock art, she breathes a respect and reverence for life.

As a result, she’s created a loving life in alignment with her values and goals.

Your TIP is to observe your thinking and notice how it’s affecting you.

I’ll give you a BIG hint.

If there are parts of your life and business you don’t like as well as how it’s affecting you, observe what you’re thinking and feeling.

I know it can seem crazy, that forces beyond your control are the real culprit, but your energy is at the core. Like energy attracts like energy. Only you choose your perspective.

The good news is that wherever you are and for however long it took you to get here, regardless of how hopeless or frustrating aspects of your life, finances, business, relationships or health may seem at times, you can change it.

Look for what brings you joy instead of addictively focusing on anxiety, pain, suffering, who done you wrong or who’s doing something wrong.

This includes what feels unchangeable, like actor Michael J. Fox who went from having “everything” to having Parkinson’s.

He turned it around from the worse experience to the best wake up call. It changed his life for the better.

P.T. Barnum went bankrupt and didn’t enter the circus business until age 60.There goes the “I’m too old” argument of limitation.

By 1983, the millions made by boxer, heavyweight champion and Olympic gold medalist George Foreman were almost gone. He turned it around. In 2014, Foreman topped The Richest list of top athlete entrepreneurs of all time.

What isn’t working for you?

You can realign your thinking and feeling so your biggest challenge becomes your biggest asset.

You’ll feel happier, too.

By the way, I just returned from a Christmas concert. At the end, the chorus formed a circle around the entire audience and sang, “Let there be peace on earth, and let it begin with me.” It’s quite a concept, especially during the holiday season.

I work with people who long to share their gifts or business in a BIGGER way but don’t know how or feel stuck. I help them ignite their Soul’s goals and be richly compensated doing what they love.

For more information on upcoming masterminding teams or a complimentary Do What You Love Break-Free Session, email me at vg@ResolvedForResults.com

Copyright © 2016 Resolved for Results, All rights reserved.

TIP: Dance. Yes, You!

October 24, 2016

img_3968

Like a phoenix taking flight from the ashes of war, Sierra Leone’s Refugee All Stars radiate how the human spirit prevails.

Their music offers us the gift of perspective. Through unimaginable hardships, we can still rejoice in faith, joy and optimism.

Years ago, I watched a documentary about them twice in a row (first for the story, second to listen to their music). I looked them up online and discovered they were on tour performing at a nearby, small club the next day!

Instead of sleeping, I drove an hour to see their 11:30 PM performance and was able to meet them back stage. As I shook hands with each of them, I said what an honor it was to hear them play, and I had respect for them and all they went through.

They emerged from a horrific eleven year civil war in their West African country and unexpectedly spent years in a refugee camp. Now, instead of wallowing in bitterness and victimhood, they share joy through their upbeat music.

This weekend, I had an opportunity to see them perform again. This time in a big theater.

The stirring sounds pulsed from the stage begging us to dance or at least tap our feet or sway.

Almost everyone sat rigidly unmoved as if to say: I expect you to entertain me. It’s your job to make me feel. Move me… in spite of myself.

In spite of my problems or mind-numbing job. Dealing with family. Being stressed or bored with life.

But the band wouldn’t let us sit as passive participants. 

The drummer stood up, walked to the microphone at the front of the stage only to say these words:

Ladies and gentlemen, I invite you to dance.

My friend didn’t want to at first. “I don’t know how to dance like they do.”

“Just move,” I told her. “Let the music move through you and dance.”

Soon half the audience was on their feet. Smiling. Waving their arms.

We followed directions to “shake it.”

There were periodic check-ins with the audience: Are you happy?

For those who didn’t allow the music to move them, the rhythms taunted like an annoying beggar. Some left.

Allowing the music to flow through us, a joy of spirit broke free into happiness and remembering how much fun life can be.

Your TIP is to dance!

Don’t be a passive bystander to your life.

When you let the life force move through you, you remember joy.

When you feel good, you’re in alignment with your true self.

When you’re in alignment, you’re in Divine Flow – and this is how you receive all good things for your life and business.

Go ahead, dance. Dance in your room or office. Bounce to the beats in your car. Shake your booty by yourself or ignite a friend’s passion to play along.

Allow energy to flow through you, the same energy that allows your business and life to soar to greater heights.

Dance. Yes, you!

Are you happy?

It’s your life. It’s never to late to dance, be happy and allow your dreams to come true.