- A husband manipulated his wife by convincing her to doubt herself and instead follow his self-centered thinking so she would do what he wanted. He harangued her until she gave him half of her business within two months of their marriage, he spent her inheritance within one day of her receiving it and more. (Ever hear of gaslighting? The term originated from the brilliant, 1944 movie Gaslight with Ingrid Bergman, which you can watch for FREE here: binged.it/46nGfsI )
- A woman in her 80s controls the behavior of a man, 20 years younger, with whom she shares a platonic relationship. Initially, she rescued him from a bad situation. Later, they decided to pool their monies, and he built a house for them with his own hands. Legally, they own the house 50-50. Seemed like a great idea at the time. Now, however, she controls him by using her illness and insinuations of moving out-of-state to be with and selling her half of the house to her children. He knows they’d sell it. Therefore, he goes along with whatever she wants because her intimidation clouds his ability to believe in himself as well as find an alternative, empowering solution.
- A therapist got angry with her coach, who didn’t buy into her fear-based bullying, because she wanted her views to be validated after a break-up in her relationship. Her manipulative tactics included rants of insulting her, blaming others and mocking her coach… even making fun of her because she was dealing with her own personal aftermath of her town’s catastrophic flood that also produced a severe, physical reaction in her from mold. When her coach didn’t bend to her wishes, the therapist upped the ante by raising her voice, serving one nasty and cheap shot after another, and getting more and more upset. Although it was an uncharacteristic tirade, later she was oblivious of what she did. So ended that professional relationship. If you haven’t guessed it, I was the coach.
When change occurs, some people feel they’re losing control. It can feel as if their very life is threatened, and they’ll do whatever it takes to survive – emotionally or otherwise.
Chances are the perpetrators won’t see or believe what they’re doing!
Stand at arm’s length if you try to tell them lest they throw a punch. Ever hear the adage about not trying to teach a pig how to fly? A pig can’t fly, and you’ll just irritate the pig.
Yes, forgive them for they know not what they do… and take care of yourself! You have a responsibility to be steward of YOUR life.
You have a choice to be a follower of someone else’s fears and expectations, and give away your power in the process, or think for yourself.
You won’t be truly happy unless you follow the rhythm of your own drum.
By avoiding dealing with situations like these (and there are countless variations), you might believe that when the people disappear into the sunset, it will be happy trails forevermore. Not true, until you release the underlying cause.
Unless you address your emotional issues (that you may not realize are the core of the problem), you carry this vibration, these feelings, in your energy field. You’ll attract more of the same type of people and experiences in the future, even if your current situation goes away.
Why bother dealing with it?
Is it better not to rock the boat?
Avoid conflict?
Life offers you opportunities to grow, release what’s not serving you and be free.
What should you do? The answer is found within you, as each situation is different.
- Identify what’s happening.
- Then thoughtfully make a decision if it’s better to say something or take another approach.
- How? Release the issue to God and the universe. Let it go.
- Be open to receive. Be alert for guidance, and take action to follow it when it comes.
- There’s always an answer. However, it may not come in the form or timing that you expected.
What does this have to do with you, your life and your goals?
If you succumb to fear by kowtowing to please others, you may end up doubting yourself and being unconsciously manipulated and controlled.
Others will live their dream on the shoulders of you limiting or suppressing yours.
You deserve much more.
Edited Soulgoals’ Blog that was originally posted on June 7, 2016
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