A woman, at a presentation I gave, told me how she was dreading an upcoming holiday.
She and her husband would soon divorce, and he would be with another woman, not with her and the children.
I inquired about their past, holiday celebrations. Were they fun, heart-warming, family times?
Oh no. Those were never happy times. He was usually drunk, and since she became sober, the two of them were even more distant.
What she wanted so dearly wasn’t that man during the holiday but a loving, family gathering.
Yet, she mourned the idea of not spending the holiday together — a lovely idea that didn’t exist at the best of times.
After a brief discussion, she was able to let go of her faulty idea that she’d be missing a wonderful, family experience, one they never had.
When she put this in perspective, her suffering stopped.
Later while in my Soulgoals program, she was able to see more clearly.
Instead of the misery she felt previously, she became happily divorced. She realized she didn’t want a broken family with a person who had neither the interest nor ability to be part of a loving family.
In its place, she designed her ideal, family situation… and manifested it!
Sometimes we get an image of what we think we want and try to superimpose it on a current situation; we try to make it work — even though what’s happening doesn’t match up with what we REALLY want.
Same is true in relationships and business– people fall in love with an idea instead of the actual person or livelihood.
How can you know what you really want?
In my Soulgoals program, I make the distinction this way:
“The soul of your goal satisfies the true intention of your objective. You feel fulfilled and happy when you achieve a goal that has the essence of what you choose and frustrated or disappointed when you don’t.”
Soulgoals: A step-by-step system to live your dreams – even if you failed before, lost hope, are afraid, stuck or confused
Mirages are illusions that look real but ultimately are unfulfilling. They only will frustrate and disappoint when you get closer to them and see them for what they are.
A definition of mirage is something that appears real or possible but in fact isn’t actually so.
Often people chase mirages because they convince themselves they’re the real deal. Mirages can look like water. People need and want water. So they declare it’s water even though it isn’t true.
It reminds me of a woman who laughingly commented on her marriage. Prince Charming became Prince Alarming.
People see what they want to see. Most are happy with their illusions until they get close enough to see that the water was just a mirage.
Here’s why this is good news:
- You can more clearly discern what you really want when you see what you don’t want,
- You can change emotional habits, such as feeling disappointed, depressed, angry, frustrated, worried, stressed or being down on yourself or others about what’s not working. Habits and beliefs are just patterns of thoughts and feelings that can shift.
- You can train your brain to focus on what you really want instead of being fixated on what you don’t want.
- You can learn how to trust yourself and use your feelings as a GPS.
- You can enhance your practice of gratitude. (When I focus on continuous gratitude, no matter what, things always work out!)
You have power in your clarity.
Even if you realize that what you thought you wanted is out of alignment with what you really want, you can now redirect your focus. Because of your new focus, you can manifest something better than you ever imagined!
By the way, if you think you screwed up and believe beating yourself up will whip you back in shape, think again.
This thinking is a mirage.
Life is designed as a learning experience, which aids your growth. It’s not created with the purpose of disapproving of you. So don’t should on yourself.
It’s all good, including you!
Original Soulgoals Blog was posted on November 27, 2017
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Time to let go of the mirages to enjoy the real thing?
Contact me to learn more:
virginia@soulgoals.com
http://www.soulgoals.com
I help women to tune in to their true Selves, see clearly and live their personal and professional dreams.
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