How would you feel if this were you?
A friend waited behind a car as it sat through not one but TWO green lights. Well, he had several choice words for that man.
Angrily he drove his car next to the driver and a little girl who sat next to him. The man turned to my friend and said, “I have to take my daughter to the hospital, but I don’t know which way to turn. Can you help me?”
His anger and judgment vaporized with this new perspective.
While waiting at a counter in a small shop, the woman next to me wanted to reclaim a lay-away that had been there for several months. The clerk very politely explained that their policy was for 30 days, she didn’t have a record of it, and the owner wasn’t present.
The customer responded by heartlessly debasing the clerk for being rude, which she wasn’t being at all.
After she left, the clerk told me that the customer had no idea of the challenges in her life and how much courage it took for her just to come to work.
If the customer looked beyond her self-interests, she may have handled things differently.
Then there’s this story of kindness with Frank Sinatra.
At a party hosted by Frank Sinatra at his ex-wife’s home, a young woman accidentally knocked over one of a pair of alabaster birds and smashed it. His daughter Nancy began to say how they were one of her mother’s favorites, but Frank stopped her with a look. As 40 guests stared in stunned silence, he quickly walked over to the other bird. He flicked it with a finger to the floor and smashed it, too. Then he kindly put his around the woman and told her in a way to diffuse the situation and her discomfort, “That’s okay, kid.”
Ahhh, grace in action.
From individuals to world politics, I’ve heard many stories this week of missed opportunities for consideration, kindness or communication.
An acting manager complicated instead of resolved a situation while treating a customer like a low-life.
A delay in a project with no urgent deadline elicited unnecessary rebuke.
People locked into negative viewpoints while refusing dialogue.
The ego wears many masks including: righteous indignation; superiority posing as the high road; impatience; sticking it to people; projecting one’s issues onto others; belittling; and judgment.
How do you respond when things don’t go your way and your buttons are pushed?
Everyone has bad days and maybe you could’ve done some things differently. But there are times you’ve chosen grace and kindness. You’ve listened; considered other viewpoints before jumping to conclusions; welcomed communication; and allowed people to be themselves although different from you.
The most important person to be kind and non-judgmental to is you. You can’t give away what you don’t have.
How does this affect your goals?
When you’re hard on yourself and others, you may repel what you want most or find it slipping through your fingers once you get it.
What can you do about it right now? Just change your perspective – consider another way of looking at things.
Ask yourself, “What did I learn?”
Fast forward to the present moment as you leave the past behind. Benefit from your lessons and move on to your next adventure. One option is to do it without judgment, with grace.
Reprinted from Soulgoals Blog Archives February 28, 2011
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Tags: acceptance, anger, angry, Frank Sinatra, frustration, kindness, put things in perspective, Sinatra
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