“Lie to no one. If there’s somebody close to you, you’re gonna’ ruin it with a lie. If they’re a stranger, who the f— are they you gotta’ lie to?”
Willie Nelson in Thief
It’s easier to speak our truth simply, although people who don’t want to do something or feel the need to hide often go into avoidance or denial, tell lies, get angry, complain, project blame on others, or make up stories – variations on defensiveness.
A man I knew was “speaking-his-truth challenged.” He made excuses when he didn’t return calls, didn’t keep his word, and disappeared for months when he said he’d call in a couple of days. He left several relationships without a word of goodbye.
Once he phoned to say he was house hunting and asked if I knew any homes for sale in my part of town. I suggested he contact a realtor. I made a three-way call with him, and we left a message for a client of mine who’s in the business.
She told me she returned his call two times but never heard back. A month later, I saw him at the post office, inquired about his search, and commented how he never returned my client’s call. He said he thought he called her back two or three times.
“No. You didn’t.”
This college instructor then claimed forgetfulness expecting me to believe he was the absent-minded professor.
Busted, and he still couldn’t come clean.
To his credit, three months later he left a message on my voicemail to apologize for “some behaviors he acted out with me, the last one being about the realtor, realized after doing some soul searching.”
Tell the truth. Keep it simple. When we do we keep our self-respect, our personal power, and integrity.
Sometimes blatant truth telling is unwise. Telling your boss he’s an idiot may not be the best choice unless you’re ready to walk out the door for good.
Silence or responding with kindness may be the more gracious approach… instead of trying to shove truth down someone’s throat who you perceive isn’t capable of digesting it at that moment. (Another lesson I’ve learned after realizing some people are quite oblivious, and I end up looking like a fool in their eyes if I try to press the point.)
Diplomacy and kindness go a long way to effective communication. Well, at least the best you can in the moment. Sometimes journaling or talking to someone else about it first can take off the emotional edge.
The egoic mind feels that it needs to defend itself and wear a mask it wants the world to see; the real you doesn’t.
Your challenge, if you choose to accept, is to speak your truth without defensiveness.
- Identify a situation where you’ve been holding back on expressing yourself because of fear of what someone might say, think, or do.
- Decide if telling the whole truth is the wisest course of action.
- Invoke your Soul energy for courage, wisdom, divine right timing, and effective communication skills. How? Just ask within for help.
- Speak your truth diplomatically but straight from your heart, with as much grace as you can muster. Your truth is good enough, with or without explanation.
- Be prepared to accept the consequences, knowing that the way out of a situation is often to go through it rather than avoiding it or being defensive.
With a zest for Life,
Virginia
| Struggling to tell the truth… even to yourself? Contact me at: virginia@soulgoals.comI work with people who choose to share their gifts or business in a BIGGER way but don’t know how, feel stuck or could use new tools or support.I help them ignite their Soul’s goals and be richly compensated doing what they love. Originally posted as an excerpt from my Soulgoal Missive a long time ago. |
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