Soulgoal Missive, Year 2, No.1, originally puclished in 2002
I cannot emphasize this point strongly enough: the targets to which acquisitioners connect their energy circuits are people or objects to which they have surrendered their power – specifically, the power to control them.
CAROLYN MYSS, Anatomy of the Spirit
I still felt exhausted and light-headed three months, $1000, and seven practitioners later. Adrenal burnout created chronic fatigue, and I couldn’t get a handle on it. The healing work brought an underlying physical strength but not enough to impact my daily life. The only business I could manage was what was absolutely necessary.
One weekend my energy and head cleared. I was enthusiastic until I met with a client on Monday, and my thinking relapsed into a heavy fog. I had enough and drew the line as I realized this wasn’t about my health.
I decided it was time to get to the underlying cause.
A friend suggested I was in a transformational process that could create a breakthrough. She told me about a book Anatomy of the Spirit by Carolyn Myss, which is about health and energy. I had so little of either it seemed a logical place to look, even though I didn’t see how it would help.
If we don’t recognize that our source of energy comes from within, we look outside ourselves to find it. That could be a person (as found in co-dependent relationships or even someone we respect), a business or organization (when we think our source of money or salvation can only come from an outside source), a substance (such as alcohol, drugs, coffee, or cigarettes), or belief systems (ideas we believe to be true).
Instead of trusting a divine source or ourselves, we believe something outside of us is stronger. By doing so, we give away our power and allow it to control us.
I sat at the computer and wrote what I felt: “Where am I plugging in my energy circuits?Emotionally to something outside myself. Not a person or an idea, but a belief.”
The answer popped out. To be more visible in my business and speak my truth, people might not like what I have to say. Society would then ostracize me, and I was afraid to have that happen.
In that moment of discovery, the left side of my head instantly cleared!
Recognizing this was the right track, I knew if I opened the book to any page it would give me the insight that I needed to clear the other side of my head.
The light bulb moment began with the thought, “On the right side, I’m short-circuited with fear.”
I realized that in the back of my mind I thought I would never accomplish a deeply cherished goal. This belief froze me into inaction through fear and disappointment.
“I’m not acknowledging all is in divine order. My will is motivated by fear and a lack of control. I need to connect my head and heart and allow Thy will not my will be done.”
Poof! Like magic, the right side of my head cleared. Reignited by this new awareness, my energy and clear-headedness returned and didn’t leave.
How could these beliefs affect my body and mind with such devastating results?
If you saw a friend about to cut her wrists or jump off a bridge, wouldn’t you do whatever you could to sabotage her efforts?
Unbeknownst to me, I held a fearful belief of being disapproved of – I was unconsciously imagining the worst about what would happen if people didn’t like what I had to say.
That belief affected me emotionally by doing all it could to prevent me from what it perceived a certain death, death to my ego and the pain it created. That belief, created as a child, did what it thought was protecting me and keeping me safe.
It didn’t matter if the belief was true; unconsciously I believed it and acted as if it was real.
If I felt too exhausted to work, I’d be safe because I wouldn’t be able to share my viewpoints. I wouldn’t be visible for people to disapprove of me and experience some harmful fate.
I know this can sound convoluted and weird, but many of our limiting beliefs were created when we were kids using limited logic. Read on to see what I mean.
Exhaustion comes from emotions.
We may feel tired or extremely fatigued from hard work or putting in long hours, but exhaustion comes from emotions. Exhaustion stems from suppressing worries, anger, fear, and concerns, often telling ourselves we’ll deal with them later. But we don’t. By stuffing and not looking at them, we emotionally sabotage ourselves.
Dragging ourselves home from work may result from not dealing with the stress of associating with certain people or situations. Exhaustion at home may occur by not wanting to admit something needs to change.
We can exhaust ourselves from not wanting to look at the reasons we feel pain or fear.
A woman once told me about her unfulfilling relationship with her father. As a little girl she regularly hit her head against the wall rather than face that emotional pain.
Now in her twenties, she no longer hits her head. Instead she gets migraines. Althoughpainful, migraines were easier for her to deal with than looking at the pain she felt from being emotionally abandoned by her father.
People sometimes drive themselves through grueling physical activity, constant busyness, or hellish, military training rather than look at the pain and frustration they feel about their parents or past, negative experiences. It’s often easier to focus on the body and its needs while flying under one’s emotional radar.
We can identify with pain, illness, or exhaustion, even turning it into a badge of courage. This seems easier than facing what lies beneath the surface, as the survival of the pain depends on remaining unconscious.
Our shadow self is afraid to allow the light of awareness to be shined on it. The dark side wants to remain hidden so it won’t be found out, fearing a fate worse than death.
As long as we continue to unconsciously identify with the pain rather than look at it and let it go, it continues to hold power over us. This is what causes us to relive variations of emotionally charged situations repeatedly.
The situations change but the underlying feelings of fear, pain or fill-in-the-blank emotion are close to the same way we felt during the original affront.
Our spirit desires a release of unsupportive energy. That’s why it continues to draw to us similar situations (even if they suck) so we can wake up and be free.
The reason we are afraid of it so much is that we created this fearful part as a child. These emotions feel natural and familiar tinged with a childlike dread that we’ve learned to suppress and live with over the years.
Imagine a helpless youngster dealing with a challenging, life situation. Obviously, coping and life skills are limited. Fear takes over. If we haven’t resolved these childhood impressions, they can continue to haunt us until we gain perspective and release their energy.
If we avoid releasing that unsupportive energy, we look for our power elsewhere while feeling inadequate to manage on our own. We settle for jobs, relationships, and unsatisfying lives. This is exhausting.
Do you feel exhausted? Covid getting you down? Had enough? Where are you losing your power? Who or what did you give your power to?
A first step to freedom is self-awareness, and sometimes asking for help to perceive the blind spots and see.
Ready to identify and let go of limiting beliefs
and feelings that hold you back?
Contact me for a free consultation at:
virginia@soulgoals.com
I work with people who choose to share
their gifts or business in a BIGGER way
but don’t know how, feel stuck or could
use new tools or support.
I help them ignite their Soul’s goals
and be richly compensated doing what
they love.
| Copyright © 2021 Soulgoals, All rights reserved. |
Soulgoals' Blog 