| During a year-long, business training, we were given one, 30-minute, private coaching session per month. I skipped some months so I could invest in extended, one-hour sessions.
The short sessions felt like a race. But, ahhh, finally I’d be able to really explore some topics in depth.
My coach had a different idea that day. Not only was she was on a roll about subjects she wanted to communicate, but they were off-track for me.
I was blind-sided. Annoyed. I felt like an irritated cat who observed but was silent.
I couldn’t think of a way to derail her without being rude, even though she was taking away time from my agenda, and I didn’t care about what she was saying. I was left a bit flabbergasted and without words to express myself. (Yeah, I know, weird for me.)
This bugged me so much that later I discussed it with another coach. I wasn’t placing blame on my biz coach, but I wondered why I was bothered. Why couldn’t I turn the session into what I wanted instead of just responding to her direction? ________________________________
The root of my miffedness? I was so focused on trying to be nice to her that I wasn’t nice to ME! I put her feelings above mine.
It was a huge lesson. Don’t allow other people’s feelings and opinions to have more value than my own.
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By the way, later when I listened to the recording of our session, what she said wasn’t as bad as I thought. I really needed to hear her in a skewed way to get this lesson!
Recently, I facilitated a coaching session with a masterminder who’s successful, positive and very aware that whatever she focuses on multiplies.
When it seemed impossible to achieve her numbers by the next day to get a bonus, a new client appeared out-of-the-blue. She always wins door prizes. After a break-up from a long-term relationship, a chance meeting landed her an invite to spend the next week at a condo on the coast with wonderful and supportive women – for free!
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She’s learned the power of masterminding: how to choose what she wants and, with the dynamic of group energy, manifest beyond her wildest expectations. Not only is she aware of the power of her focused attention, she’s living proof that her thoughts and feelings become reality.
However, there are people in her personal life who see things differently – they believe in a lack philosophy.
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The cup is half full. No sense in making plans because they never work. They complain about how there’s not enough money.
When they expressed their negative views and even dismissed her approach, she politely didn’t say anything. Everybody has a right to their opinion.
Then she woke up, and it felt like a weight was lifted from her when she heard this:
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Your outer world is shaped by your thoughts and feelings. If you allow others to surround you with their negative energy, it can affect the way you feel. In doing so, you’ve given them power to create YOUR world – for better or worse.
Care about the way you feel. Make feeling good a priority if you care about your business, health, life and ability to prosper.
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Why let strangers in a car who drive in some loopy way bother you and affect your mood, which can affect your day.. because this can affect your wallet and ability to create the life you choose?
Why allow your energy, the way you feel, to be infused by limiting views on the way life works because you’re trying to be nice or afraid to speak up?
Sounds good, but how?
Sure to bomb: “My well being is a key to my success. So you need to shut up so I can feel good.”
Delicious in the moment, but that won’t bring you positive results.
Effective: Opt to express yourself with grace and ease.
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Creatively communicate without making the other person wrong.
How can you take a stand for yourself while being kind? You’re worth it.
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Yes, play it smart, too. Your boss, friends or family may require a lot of creativity.
I pondered how to inform a health practitioner to stop his limited thinking about the results I could get.
I found a creative way, but that’s another story.
With gratitude,
Virginia
P.S. Know others who could use help in standing up for themselves or changing the way they feel so they can attain greater success? Please forward this post. |
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