| Have any of these kept you up at night?
Procrastination. Fear of making a (wrong) decision or making a mistake. Trying to figure out what you’re going to do. Indecisive. Avoid people or dealing with things. Have trouble marketing yourself or asking for the sale. Averse to taking risks. Don’t stand up for yourself. Afraid to speak up. Let others control you. Need to fit in. Turn into a chameleon to blend in with others. Let people run over you. Have a hard time being yourself (whoever that is). Wonder what people will say or think. Say yes when you want to say no.
What bogeyman lies beneath this thinking? Personal honesty reveals a deeper insight beyond blaming circumstances.
During multiple mastermind group meetings, I noticed a theme that held people back until they got wise to a game the ego was playing.
It reminds me of a scene from the 1986 comedy The Money Pit with Tom Hanks (who played Walter) and Shelly Long.
Rock star, 12-year-old Benny lounged in his mansion smoking a cigarette while chics waited for him in the Jacuzzi. His help feared him, and his mother wore a maid’s uniform while waiting on him hand and foot.
His temper tantrum, when he refused to loan Walter money, revealed a spoiled, insecure, little boy.
Walter: There is a house I want to buy.
Benny: Let’s cut to the chase, okay? What do you want?
Walter: I want you to loan me $200,000 in cash.
Benny: No.
Walter: [raising his voice] Benny.
Benny: You shout at me?
Walter: I shout at you! I need that money, and you are going to loan it to me.
Benny: No, I won’t!
Walter: Yes, you will!
Benny: No, no, no!
Walter: Yes, you will! I saved you ten times that in taxes last year.
Benny: So what?
Walter: Benny, if you don’t loan me that money. I’ll…
Benny: You’ll what? Huh? You’ll what?
Walter: I’ll…not like you anymore! [Long pause and subdued.]
Benny: …All right.
Walter: Thanks.
Here’s the funny clip: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3LY5dV3xghY
A leading cause of fear is wanting approval, so people limit themselves by worrying about what others will think.
A client procrastinated making a big decision. During a session, she realized she was afraid of her family’s disapproval if she didn’t get it right… again.
When the light turned on for her, she was able to research her options. She got clarity, aligned her energy with her decision by feeling good about her choice, and then took action.
Even if she made another unwanted mistake, she knew she could choose again.
She chose wisely. Since then, her business is at the highest it’s been in years.
Several clients realized that they were so intent on being nice to others that they weren’t nice to themselves.
Resolved for Results Mastermind Principle #3 provided guidance:
“I trust my Self and listen to the voice within.”
This served as a valuable GPS instead of the need to people please.
Nobody can please everybody.
There will always be those who won’t like you or what you do. How much simpler life is to accept that instead of resisting it.
Don’t let fear of disapproval hold you down. Keep moving forward anyway with good intentions.
You have no control over what others think, but you can tune in to your Self and take charge of what you think about you.
Listening to your Self is part of your innate intelligence, so you can do this.
How? Choose to redirect your focus to hear You. With practice, your ability improves.
A key is to love and accept yourself just the way you are.
You’ll sleep better at night, too.
With gratitude,
Virginia
P.S. Know someone who might be uplifted by reading this? Please forward.
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