Posts Tagged ‘Mother Teresa’

You Are NOT Your Thoughts… and yes, you are good enough

August 23, 2021
You can open the window to your thoughts, and think outside YOUR box.

Soulgoal Missive, Year 1, No. 15, originally published in 2001

It was my first singing class. After performing my rendition of a song, my voice coach didn’t comment on my presentation but simply suggested that I approach it using different emotions. Although it was a reasonable request, a sinking feeling came over me and began to take me down with it.

I got through the evening but went home devastated as anguish overtook me far beyond what happened in the class. Three days later I still felt this sickening feeling within and knew that it was totally out of proportion from the event.

Then it hit me.

My (unconscious) interpretation of the comment triggered a belief that when I’m myself, I’m not good enough.

“Why can’t you be more like your cousins Kathy and Sharon?” was one of my mother’s mantras I grew up with — to be good enough I had to be like someone else.

My feelings turned from sadness to freedom as the light shined on this hidden side of me.

The casual remark served as an alarm clock to wake up an old pain after years of sleep. Unconsciously, it directed my actions and responses causing me to feel “I’m not good enough” although there was nothing in the present moment to validate it. After discovering the truth, my life changed.

I hadn’t seen one of my cousins for 18 years, even though she lives just a few hours from me. Yet two weeks after my discovery, I found myself visiting my aunt and her daughter.

Within minutes of our time together, I shared my story with her, and she replied, “Why would you ever want to be like us? The insinuation in our home was that you were special, and we wanted to be like you!”

How often do we create a false sense of reality accompanied by unnecessary limitations and anxiety?

There are so many reasons to experience fear these days, but how many of them are based on reality?

Fear arises from an obscure feeling that something will happen to us in the future that we won’t be able to handle. Then we attach a significance and interpretation that create pain.

The psychological condition of fear is divorced from any concrete and true immediate danger. It comes in many forms: unease, worry, anxiety, nervousness, tension, dread, phobia, and so on. This kind of psychological fear is always of something that might happen, not of something that is happening now.


“You can always cope with the present moment, but you cannot cope with something that is only a mind projection – you cannot cope with the future.”

Eckhart Tolle,
Power of Now


What’s the antidote? Get free from allowing your thoughts to rule and instead be the master of what you think and feel.

How do we reclaim our dominion? Focus on the Now instead of some imagined future.

Truly be present and live in this moment in time. This means not obsessing over what happened in the past and not projecting in the future some theorized threat. We learn from the past and plan for the future. We are best equipped to deal with life situations when we are fully present.

Life is what it is. “Resistance is futile” and creates more pain.


We always have the ability to deal with whatever hand we are dealt, although as Mother Teresa said, “I know God won’t give me anything I can’t handle. I just wish He didn’t trust me so much.”  


Your challenge, if you choose to accept it, is to disidentify with your thoughts, as if they are you and always the truth.  Instead, be the observer of them. Experiment with the following exercise entitled “You Are NOT Your Thoughts.”

  1. Do you imagine that your future will be better or worse than it is now?
  2. Observe yourself focusing your attention into the future. Now shift your attention back to reading in this moment. Notice your ability to shift consciously between the future and present.
  3. The part of you that observes this shift is the real you. You can detach from your identification with your thinking at any moment by going into the observer state – the real you is doing the watching. You experience the real you only in the present moment.
  4. Whenever fear, anxiety, or other such emotion arises, switch to being the watcher of your thoughts and feelings. Even if you still feel trapped by them or feel stuck, you are on your road to freedom, gaining greater self-mastery with every step.

Observation of your thoughts breaks identification with them. You take control of your life instead of being led by fear and limitation. It’s a powerful tool.

With a zest for Life,

Virginia


Success Thought

“Getting there is half the fun; being there is all of it!”

Chauncey Gardner, in the movie Being There


Ready for more freedom?

You are more than enough!


Contact me for a free consultation at:
virginia@soulgoals.com

I work with people who choose to share
their gifts or business in a BIGGER way
but don’t know how, feel stuck or could 
use new tools or support.

I help them ignite their Soul’s goals
and be richly compensated doing what
they love.

Copyright © 2021 Soulgoals, All rights reserved.

Are You Teachable?

July 26, 2021

A woman I knew took personal, salsa dancing lessons from a friend of mine who was a popular, salsa teacher in town. While the woman enjoyed dancing, she had little dance training nor did she have experience in the rhythm or style of Latin dance.

However, that didn’t stop her from telling my friend how she was teaching her wrong and what the steps were supposed to be. She wouldn’t listen to anything other than what she wanted to hear, wouldn’t see how the dance actually looked other than her impression of how she thought it was supposed to look, wouldn’t talk about anything other than her interpretation of what the dance was.

After a couple of classes, she decided to stop the lessons.

She wasn’t teachable, and she wouldn’t allow herself to listen or learn beyond her preconceived ideas.



Several years ago, another woman was desperate to join one of my mastermind programs. Part of the experience is 1:1 partnering sessions where every couple of weeks team members switch partners.

In the first week, this woman went to each of five team members to share her story.

After politely listening, each member then redirected her attention to solutions. She wasn’t interested.

Her intention was on others hearing her story and feeling validated. Her focus was centered on her confusion, her circumstances and how what she wanted to do wasn’t working, not on getting on track or creating actual results.

Five people called me individually to tell me how they really tried to help her, but she wasn’t open.  Not getting the type of attention she wanted, she left the group after the second week.



“Listen, be teachable. Laugh at good stories and learn to tell them. For as long as you are green, you can grow.”    Mother Teresa

“Be teachable. That is the whole secret.”      Vernon Howard



Being heard by others is a gift. Are you also open to receive?

What can you do to be teachable? Choose to be open to the guidance that life brings you moment by moment. Sounds too simple, but your intention will open you to learn.

Are you open to receive ideas and solutions or is your focus on having your story heard? Are you reliving familiar feelings when you repeat your story?

Are you teachable?

I work with people
who choose to share their gifts
or business in a BIGGER way
but don’t know how, feel stuck
or would benefit from new tools
or support.

I help them enjoy their lives and
be richly compensated
doing what they love by aligning
with their Soul’s goals.

First posted on Soulgoals’ Blog, April 23, 2018

Copyright © 2021 Soulgoals. All rights reserved.

Are We There Yet? Are You Waiting for Things to Be Better?

March 1, 2021

Think about little kids who can’t wait to get to their destination and miss most everything that’s happening on the ride.

We can be like those children, too.

Lately, I’ve been observing people who are in the middle of transitions – starting new businesses; hoping to get work; ready for change; trying to heal faster; wanting more; needing different; can’t take living with tormenting thoughts any longer.

It can be challenging and discouraging, especially when there’s no going back and the future calls.

But how does one get there?  There’s a need to get there because that’s where survival and happiness seem to be.

And the present… well, this is the painful part. Because the perception is that success and well-being appear to live in the future or in a memory of the past when everything will be or was better. Now is full of worry, anxiety, stress and suffering.

Actually, the miserable feelings come from living in the future or past: being here and wishing we were there. It’s an inner battle with time and a (mis)perception of how things are supposed to be.

We often get frustrated because we want everything to be the way we want it now, but it isn’t.

It’s okay. Just take things a step at a time. With each step, you’ll be closer to your destination. It helps a lot if you stop judging yourself and your situation with disapproval… and you’ll feel much better, too!

If we’re waiting for better days, we’re missing the only place they exist – in the present moment.

Your past and future only consist of other moments. If you’re not happy in this moment, you’ll repeat the patterns of stress and dissatisfaction in your future or your reflections of the past.

Furthermore, you’ll attract more experiences that will give you more of the same feelings you have now, regardless of how much you hate them. Like attracts like.

Here are some quotes that may help you take your power back or realize that you always had it but gave it away to ill-conceived perceptions of time.


“Waiting is a state of mind. Basically, it means that you want the future; you don’t want the present. You don’t want what you’ve got, and you want what you haven’t got. With every kind of waiting, you unconsciously create inner conflict between your here and now, where you don’t want to be, and the projected future, where you want to be. This greatly reduces the quality of your life by making you lose the present.”

“Waiting is a state of mind that says we want what we don’t have…  Are you a ‘habitual waiter’?”

“It is not uncommon for people to spend their whole life waiting to start living.”

Eckhart Tolle


Are you there yet?

Or are you here?

“Yesterday is gone. Tomorrow has not yet come. We only have today. Let us begin.”

Mother Teresa

If you’d like to 
live life more fully NOW,
contact me for a a compliementary session:
virginia@soulgoals.com

I work with people
who choose to enjoy life more,
share their gifts

or business in a BIGGER way
but don’t know how, feel stuck
or would benefit from new tools
or support.

I help them be richly compensated
doing what they love by aligning
with their Soul’s goals. 


Reposted from Soulgoals’ blog May 14, 2018

Copyright © 2021 Soulgoals, All rights reserved.

Are You Teachable?

January 28, 2020

 

A woman I knew took personal salsa dancing lessons from a friend of mine, who was a big salsa teacher in town. While the woman enjoyed dancing, she had little dance training nor did she have experience in the rhythm or style of Latin dance.

However, that didn’t stop her from telling my friend how she was teaching her wrong and what the steps were supposed to be. She wouldn’t listen to anything other than what she wanted to hear, wouldn’t see how the dance actually looked other than her impression of how she thought it was supposed to look, wouldn’t talk about anything other than her interpretation of what the dance was.

After a couple of classes, she decided to stop the lessons.

She wasn’t teachable, and she wouldn’t allow herself to listen or learn beyond her preconceived ideas.


Several years ago, another woman was desperate to join one of my mastermind programs. Part of the experience was one-on-one partnering sessions, where every couple of weeks team members switch partners. This woman went to each of five team members to share her story in the first week.

After politely listening, each member then redirected her attention to solutions. She wasn’t interested.

Her intention was on others hearing her story and feeling validated. She wanted an audience, not a way out of her situation. Her focus was centered on her confusion, her circumstances and how what she wanted to do wasn’t working, not on getting on track or manifesting actual results.

Five people called me individually to tell me how they really tried to help her, but she wasn’t open.  Not getting the type of attention she wanted, she left the group after the second week.


“Listen, be teachable. Laugh at good stories and learn to tell them. For as long as you are green, you can grow.”      Mother Teresa

“Be teachable. That is the whole secret.”      Vernon Howard


Being heard by others is a gift. Are you also open to receive?

What can you do to be teachable? Choose to be open to the guidance that life brings you moment by moment. Sounds too simple, but your intention will open you to learn.

Are you open to receive ideas and solutions or is your focus on having your story heard? Are you reliving familiar feelings when you repeat your story?

Are you teachable?

P. S. Know someone who might be interested in this post?  Please share.

Reprinted from Soulgoals’ Archive posted on April 23, 2018.

Ready to learn new ways so you can live a life you LOVE? If so, contact me for a Do What You Love Break-Free Session

virginia@soulgoals.com

I work with people
who choose to share their gifts
or business in a BIGGER way
but don’t know how, feel stuck
or would benefit from new tools
or support.

I help them be richly compensated
doing what they love by aligning
with their Soul’s goals.

Copyright © 2020 Soulgoals, All rights reserved.

Are you teachable?

April 23, 2018

not teachable

A woman I knew took personal salsa dancing lessons from a friend of mine, who was a big salsa teacher in town. While the woman enjoyed dancing, she had little dance training nor did she have experience in the rhythm or style of Latin dance.

However, that didn’t stop her from telling my friend how she was teaching her wrong and what the steps were supposed to be. She wouldn’t listen to anything other than what she wanted to hear, wouldn’t see how the dance actually looked other than her impression of how she thought it was supposed to look, wouldn’t talk about anything other than her interpretation of what the dance was.

After a couple of classes, she decided to stop the lessons.

She wasn’t teachable, and she wouldn’t allow herself to listen or learn beyond her preconceived ideas.


Several years ago, another woman was desperate to join one of my mastermind programs. Part of the experience is 1:1 partnering sessions, where every couple of weeks team members switch partners. This woman went to each of five team members to share her story in the first week.

After politely listening, each member then redirected her attention to solutions. She wasn’t interested.

Her intention was on others hearing her story and feeling validated. Her focus was centered on her confusion, her circumstances and how what she wanted to do wasn’t working, not on getting on track or manifesting actual results.

Five people called me individually to tell me how they really tried to help her, but she wasn’t open.  Not getting the type of attention she wanted, she left the group after the second week.


“Listen, be teachable. Laugh at good stories and learn to tell them. For as long as you are green, you can grow.”      Mother Teresa

“Be teachable. That is the whole secret.”      Vernon Howard


Being heard by others is a gift. Are you also open to receive?

What can you do to be teachable? Choose to be open to the guidance that life brings you moment by moment. Sounds too simple, but your intention will open you to learn.

Are you open to receive ideas and solutions or is your focus on having your story heard? Are you reliving familiar feelings when you repeat your story?

Are you teachable?

 

P. S. Know someone who might be interested in this TIP?  Please share.

I work with people, at any age,
who choose to share their gifts
or business in a BIGGER way
but don’t know how, feel stuck
or would benefit from new tools
or support.

I help them be richly compensated
doing what they love by aligning
with their Soul’s goals.

Copyright © 2018 Resolved for Results, All rights reserved.