
I’m sharing gifts from one of the most challenging times I’ve ever had. Throughout my life, there were lessons that I stubbornly hadn’t learned, and my experience gave me an opportunity to learn them in a condensed amount of time… or potentially lose everything.
I later recognized that these lessons were a shortcut in preparation for me to do what I love in a bigger way. Without really getting their value, I would’ve stayed where I was and sabotaged my future success.
In 2015, many in my town were hit by a devastating flood that washed away both homes and people. The Blanco River in Texas rose from five feet to nearly 41 feet in just four hours.
I was fortunate not to be affected by this directly. However, the effects of a mold outbreak wreaked havoc with my home, walls, furniture, health and income.
Perhaps what I learned may help you, too.
- A positive attitude with fear running underneath doesn’t cut it. I had to live focusing only on what’s working and feels good to me – with no luxury to slip into low energy emotions. Feeling good creates momentum for things to work out for the better. Otherwise, because for a while I could barely think straight or talk coherently (sometimes I could only smile, nod and not speak), I could’ve lost everything while immersed in the haze of mold.
- One morning, panic completely enveloped me. Knowing that chewing on and regurgitating my problems was a dead end, I shifted to look for solutions and found them. I had to do this for months, often looking at only the next step at a time.
- Through this I really learned how to dump fear, even that which runs in the background like a low-grade fever. That I did this still blows my mind… which is where fear lies. Fear isn’t real; it’s in your head. If there’s a situation to be addressed, fear and worry won’t bring you solutions. Plus, if you’re afraid, you open yourself up to others controlling you for their benefit.
- I’d been service-minded, caring more about others and putting their needs before mine. To survive, I had to put me first. Only then could I be any help to others. This was a HUGE lesson that I was forced to get. By the way, if you’ve always put yourself first, your lessons may be the reverse – to see the value of giving. Ultimately, it’s about balance between giving and receiving.
- I learned not to care about others’ opinions of me. What others think about me is their issue. I have to do what’s right for me. That released an emotional burden of guilt and second guessing myself. Johnny Depp said it well: “Just keep moving forward and don’t give a s— about what others think. Do what you have to do for you.” Sometimes people want to keep you at their level of mediocrity because they’re afraid you’re outpacing them and might kick them to the curb. Don’t buy into others’ fears.
- As I was forced to funnel my energy toward taking care of me (if you’re drowning, you’re not in a position to swim over to help others), I became better at discriminating NOMB – None of My Business – and listened to people instead of coaching them to solve their problems. Not that they wouldn’t have wanted help. I didn’t have the energy to give myself away and not have enough left for myself.
- I finally valued my feelings so much that I no longer allowed myself to be around negatively directed energy, mine or others, even when people didn’t realize what they were doing. This included trusted coaches who I later realized had drama-based opinions of me going through my challenges. If they didn’t shift, I didn’t judge them. I moved on.
- To balance this, creating smooth experiences with others is way, way better. “Watch my manners and use my social skills,” even if I was exhausted, became a mantra.
- I stopped trying to explain or defend myself so people would understand where I was coming from. Many were so locked into their viewpoint that they weren’t able to hear what I was saying anyway. I also learned (the hard way) not to listen to them once I realized they were rude or dumping their negative opinions on me. They were neither interested nor able to consider another perspective.
- Believing things will work out is an essential foundation for them actually to work… then to shift into knowing everything always works out in my favor, regardless of how things appear.
- Maintain my dignity even when I didn’t feel I had any because of my circumstances.
- I realized that a reason for occasional light headedness and unexplainable fatigue I had for years was a residual of a severe mold experience from 17 years ago. It would sporadically (good word for mold spores) show up. I had prayed for an answer. I got it and got rid of it.
TIP: 12 Survival Lessons from Challenging Times
You’re reading this, so I know you’re alive and therefore have been through challenging times. What did you learn? Maybe hard to see when you’re in the middle of it, but why is this a blessing in disguise?
There’s always a silver lining. You can see it if you look in the right direction.
When you redirect your focus to feeling good, you’ll create miracles and successes beyond your wildest expectations.
Step back and allow yourself to see how your business and life are actually falling into place better than ever.
By the way, if you’d like to have a better understanding of and solutions for your circumstances, contact me for a complimentary Do What You Love Break Free Session at virginia@soulgoals.com
I work with people who long to enjoy life and share their gifts in a bigger way but don’t know how or feel stuck. I help them ignite their passion and be richly compensated doing what they love.
Reposted from Soulgoals’ Blog February 29, 2016
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