Posts Tagged ‘Having fun’

Guilt, Know-It-Alls & Being #1

November 6, 2017

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Are you in a self-imposed prison with freedom in view?

 

Feeling guilty had been drilled into her by her family throughout her life.

When my client was at the top, business associates and family triggered these guilty feelings by their passive-aggressive behaviors. She felt like she was doing something wrong.

Not feeling good about the price she paid for her success, her sales slipped.

People in her family had jobs. Furthermore, what’s a woman doing being successful, especially in her own business?! They had to work hard in their employment; why should she be any different?

She didn’t realize it was their own jealousy, insecurity, a need to control and their disappointment in themselves for not going after their dreams that were the underlying culprits of others’ manipulative behaviors.

Ever hear of the lobster syndrome or the crab mentality?

When either of these is alone in a lidless container, it can escape.

However, when sharing their enclosure, none can get out because they will be pulled back down, even into boiling water.

In society or business, this can happen when people are bettering themselves, and others try to bring them down.

How can they do that? Through guilt, fear, making others feel they’re doing something wrong, shunning, shaming and the threat of being ostracized if they don’t fit in with the community.

Some religions exert control by indoctrinating their followers with the fear of damnation or how their future lives will be affected.

Previously, my client couldn’t stay away from her cell phone out of fear of missing calls from prospective customers. Working hard is acceptable as a road to success.

So when she fulfilled her goal of a five-week vacation, and still remained #1, it was at the expense of others’ disparaging remarks.

Even though at the top of her game and years away from what most consider retirement age, she couldn’t stop thinking about leaving the business world behind.

She told me about a close friend and business associate. “There’s something about him lately that rubs me the wrong way – so I’ve distanced myself — although we’re working on a deal together. With him, it’s a debate or he knows some expertise about things. He’s done and knows everything.”

She was exhausted by critical people: if it’s not done their way, then in their way of looking at things, it’s being done wrong.

“Because I am surrounded by that thinking and attitude, my cup runneth over with this. My response is to disassociate with people who have these behaviors.”

When I asked where she’s seen those patterns before, she recalled that her mother and sister had the same habit of being critical know-it-alls. Both parents ruled by creating guilt in others.

We discussed that no matter where you go, there you are. If she continued to react, she’d attract more people who would act the same, wherever she went.

She realized that unless she changed, even if she left her business, she’d continue to run into similar, annoying behaviors from others.


Programmed from childhood, traits like lack of confidence, guilt and worry can prompt you to continue brainwashing yourself with limiting beliefs, even when those who put these ideas in your head aren’t around. 

Don’t listen to your inner, critical voice that bullies you and makes you question your ability to succeed or be happy. It lies.

That nagging voice reflects how the people who told you that nonsense feel about themselves. It’s not about you.

Your true essence guides you with a kind, non-judgmental and supportive voice.


Her insight: this session made her step back and look at the bigger picture.

She realized that she won’t be affected by others when she has a different perspective. And when her buttons are no longer pushed, she won’t attract people who think like that.

By the way, she’s back to being #1 and having her best year ever. Life is more fun, and she feels free now that she no longer reacts to guilt trips and know-it-alls in the way she did before.

You can step out of your self-imposed prison of any limiting beliefs, even if you don’t know what’s holding you back.

Start by having confidence that believing in yourself brings.

Remember, those voices to the contrary are figments of someone else’s imagination that they projected on you.

Freedom and success are yours if you’re open to receive them.

P.S. Know someone who might enjoy this post? Please share.

 
I work with people, at any age,
who choose to share their gifts
or business in a BIGGER way
but don’t know how, feel stuck
or would benefit from new tools
or support.

I help them be richly compensated
doing what they love by aligning
with their Soul’s goals.

Copyright © 2017 Resolved for Results, All rights reserved.

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TIP: Have fun. I did with Patrizio!

October 11, 2016

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Not having enough fun isn’t fun.

I’ve talked with several people having this experience. Hanging out by themselves, watching movies or searching the internet. Not going out with friends. Bogged down with daily living. (If that describes you, you’re not alone in being alone.)

In January, I included on this year’s mind map of goals Fun, Adventure, Travel, Dancing and Friends. My intentions have been working.

This weekend I had fun! Lots of it.

About ten years ago, I heard recordings of Patrizio, an Italian singer with an amazing voice. When he came to town on Thursday, I got a strong nudge to see him and went with my friend and client Belinda Mendoza, a feng shui expert for prosperity.

It was a surprisingly superb show.

When he mentioned he was performing in San Antonio the following night, and I already had plans to meet another friend and client there, I asked Carol if she wanted to go.

First, she and I enjoyed Happy Hour at Tower of the Americas while having a great conversation as we watched the sun go down.

We were having so much fun that we got to the theatre way past when we planned – 8:04 for an 8 PM concert.

Who did we see at the door? Patrizio and his fabulous band.

We laughed and joked together with Patrizio. He took selfies with us – oh shucks that they didn’t come out quite well enough to share.

We were already on a high from having so much fun, and then the concert started. His intention is for his audience to enjoy ourselves, and we did beyond expectation.

During his song “Mambo Italiano,” I was the audience member with whom he chose to dance a brief segment that’s part of his show.

If you ever have a chance to see one of Patrizio’s concerts, it’s great entertainment. He’s such a warm person and a phenomenally talented singer and musician who cares about his audience.

He sets the tone for joy, and I didn’t see one person who wasn’t moving to the music, smiling or shouting out their accolades of enthusiastic approval. That’s why people from coast to coast drove or flew in to see him.

After the show, we returned to the Tower to see three short movies with special effects.

Then, we took a walk to a nearby park.

Carol Warkoczewski is the City Architect of San Antonio, and she showed me Yanaguana Garden, which is a new 4.1-acre park. 

Carol and her team, amongst others, played an important role in the park being the popular San Antonio highlight that it is today.

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Getting a park tour from Carol about the cutting edge design and creativity was… well, by this time my mind was getting blown by how many wonderful experiences I was having.

Supercharged ride on divine flow.

What an amazing couple of days!

Your TIP is to have more fun! Take time to enjoy this wonderful world.

We all need to play.

When you lighten up, your goals and dreams manifest more quickly and with grace and ease.

Find your Patrizio and go have some fun.