About Those CRAZY Makers in Your Life

What do you see?  A young woman or an old one? 
This optical illusion was created over 100 years ago.

---

Many problems in our world are because people see illusions of what they want to see and believe them to be true.

---

Have you noticed people crazy making and buttons getting pushed? Some respond with anger, frustration or depression. Others find that finger pointing, denial and avoidance are easier than talking things through.

 Opportunities abound to deal with issues, but some prefer to ignore the elephant in the room. It would take more than new glasses to correct that vision.

 Changing perspective helps: step back emotionally and observe in a detached way. This reminds you not to take things personally. But what should you do about it?

---

 Ask yourself: Is there something to get out of it, something to learn?
Or is the point to get out of it and leave?

---

What’s the best action to take? This depends on the circumstances. But driving yourself bonkers and making yourself wrong only leads to a dead-end street.

 A lovely woman sent me a very ugly email. She wrote about demonic forces and people we once knew. She couldn’t be friends with me anymore because she wrote that I was still associated with them, even though I hadn’t been for years.

Weeks later she apologized. Because of past injustices inflicted on her by this group, her deep pain was triggered. She obviously wasn’t herself when she wrote it.

The point? I got out of it lessons of compassion; forgiveness; grace; and not judging as people make mistakes.

 The action? Let go of the past and move on. We renewed our friendship.

 A few months later, she sent another email explaining how she couldn’t be my friend because of my involvement with these same people.  

The point? Get out of it. When people are perpetually crazy making, create too much drama and repeat patterns that they’re not shifting, it’s often best to step back.

 The action? Don’t respond. Bless the situation and relationship and let them go.

PLEASE NOTE: There are people who have mental and emotional considerations and are well-served by our support to receive help! I’m referring to those whose default patterns are often unconscious, repetitive, self-centered and create chaos. It’s part of our journey to learn the difference and set boundaries when appropriate.

The following ideas may help you with the crazy makers in your life. Oh well, I can honestly say I’ve learned each one by doing the opposite.

1. Breathe deeply in a relaxed way. Relax your body.
2. Step back emotionally and observe rather than become enmeshed with the story.
3. Listen to what’s being expressed and understand their perspective.
4. Let go of a need to be heard, be validated or express your viewpoint.
5. Ask yourself, even if you believe they’re wrong: Why is it essential that others should think and act the way you think they should? Do you need their approval? Are you wanting control? Are you letting them make you feel unsafe or insecure? Are you judging them? Do you need to be right?
6. Everyone has a right to their viewpoint. If you don’t like it, you don’t have to stick around, at least emotionally and mentally if you can’t leave physically.
7. Tune in to your gut – what do you feel is true, which usually isn’t your story about it, and the best action to take? You know the answer if you have the willingness and courage to be quiet within and see it.

---

 “Forgive them for they know not what they do.”

---

 Using these tips will:

• Bring you peace of mind
• Awaken you to greater wisdom, awareness and empowerment
• Honor others even if you’re sure they’ve lost their mind
• Reclaim your time and energy to enjoy life and pursue your goals
• Bring you better results in the long run.

Avoidance and resistance to honestly look at a situation are futile.

Tap into your inner mastership. Don’t be afraid to step back, observe, SEE, then act, lest you start crazy making yourself.

 If you don’t like what you see, envision something better. Focus on your new choice without the emotional drama.

---

Warning: using these tips will not give you the emotional exhilaration received from feeling right; trying to fix or rescue people; feeling victimized; having your ego stroked; expressing anger; trying to control; or the comfort of familiarity from reliving your sad story. 

 None of these provide long-lasting satisfaction anyway. 

 Using these tips will:

• Bring you peace of mind
• Awaken you to greater wisdom, awareness and empowerment
• Honor others even if you’re sure they’ve lost their mind
• Reclaim your time and energy to enjoy life and pursue your goals
• Bring you better results in the long run.

Avoidance and resistance to look honestly at a situation are futile.

Tap into your inner mastership. Don’t be afraid to step back, observe, SEE, then act, lest you start crazy making yourself.

 If you don’t like what you see, envision something better. Focus on your new choice without the emotional drama.

---

Many problems in our world are because people see illusions of what they want to see and believe them to be true.

---

If you’d like help with any crazy making in your life,
contact me for a free consultation at:
virginia@soulgoals.com

I work with people who choose to share
their gifts or business in a BIGGER way
but don’t know how, feel stuck or could 
use new tools or support.

I help them ignite their Soul’s goals
and be richly compensated doing what
they love.”

Edited from Soulgoals’ published on March 25, 2011, When Buttons Are Pushed

Copyright © 2021 Soulgoals, All rights reserved.

Advertisement

5 Steps to Make Change Easy

In this part of my dream, I was in a room filled with well-worn, cushioned, reclining chairs. I thought there was an available seat near a window that overlooked trees, but it was taken. In fact, every seat I could see was taken except for a too-small-for-me wooden chair at my side. I thought there might be a chair available on the other side of the smallish room. But if I left the wooden chair, someone else might take it, and I could be left with nothing. Then I woke up.

It’s a risk to let go of what’s available, even if it’s uncomfortable, too small or isn’t a fit.

In my dream, there wasn’t a reason why I had to stay in that room, even if there wasn’t a place to sit on the other side.

I awoke knowing to let go of people, attitudes and situations that no longer fit the person I’ve become.

We often settle for things that don’t work when we feel that the familiar is safe and secure – or at least known. This may lead us to believe the unknown is risky.

However, nothing stays the same forever. Economies go up and down. People and work change.

It reminds me of a woman who didn’t want to move because she enjoyed the companionship of a friend who lived nearby. Soon after, that friend sold her house and moved out of town.

What are you afraid of leaving?

Some are afraid of leaving a job that’s on a downward spiral. Others cling to non-supportive relationships. Some hold onto old business models.  Is something really better than nothing?

And who says that replacing something will leave you with nothing?

While writing, I saw a client’s email that I saved three years ago:

I recently met a wonderful woman who was reduced to tears by “friends” she admired but had rejected her. My advice? Don’t waste your time. Look for WONDERFUL people who make you feel good. And focus on your wonderful self who is “crying” to be seen and nurtured.

Change is always for good. Something positive always emerges, regardless of appearances. But, you don’t have to wait for a catastrophe to make a change.

What have you outgrown?

Are you discouraged, stuck or frustrated about something that hasn’t been working? Are you holding on to a belief about it? This may be the reason your life or business isn’t what you’d like it to be.

Perhaps you only need a change in attitude or perspective. Another viewpoint may reveal the solution.

By the way, don’t think you’ve got to see the big picture, figure everything out and know all the steps to take before taking action. You can begin where you are and with what you know right now.

Just start. Then by taking a step at a time, subsequent steps will reveal themselves.

---

TIP: You’re always given your next step – listen within for what it is. You can prevent overwhelm by redirecting your focus on the present and doing one thing at a time.

---

You can make change easy on yourself by using these five steps:

1. Be willing to consider a change. Willingness opens you to possibilities even if you’re not ready to commit to a change.
2. Take consistent action in your new direction. If you were to make a change, what action would you take? Do it. Then tune in to the next step, and do that.
3. Get support from a friend or coach. Discussing possibilities, being heard and receiving validation can be powerful steps to clarity, action and change.
4. Choose that the change and lessons learned be gentle. If you believe change is hard, it is. There are people who remain positive even in the face of disaster. Set an intention to make changes with ease and grace.
5. Breathe your way through it. Breathing deeply in a relaxed way puts you in divine flow instead of the flow of fear.

Give yourself a gift of a new beginning. You have the power within to create changes without drama, with ease and grace.

Reprinted from Soulgoal Archives March 15, 2011

Would you like help with your changes?
If so, contact me for a complimentary
Do What You Love Break-Free Session at
virginia@soulgoals.com

I work with people
who choose to share their gifts
or business in a BIGGER way
but don’t know how, feel stuck
or would benefit from new tools
or support.

I help them be richly compensated
doing what they love by aligning
with their Soul’s goals.

 

Copyright © 2020 Soulgoals, All rights reserved.

 

 

Forgiveness and Gratitude Like This WILL Change YOUR Life

 

May you enjoy this season of giving thanks and the sentiments expressed in the reprint from last year’s Thanksgiving post, found after my today’s italicized message to you.

Forgiveness is a powerful tool to help you break free.

We’re rarely angry for the reason we think we’re angry. How dare they!

That feeling is not about the other person or situation being wrong. The emotion triggered may be from a similar, emotional memory or our perception that may or may not be accurate.

Have you noticed how sometimes people can jump to the wrong conclusion and then become upset by their interpretation, even if it’s false?

Regardless if the other was right or actually the wrongdoer, holding on to a lack of forgiveness or a one-sided, limiting perspective can feel empowering. It can feel validating, proof that you’re right and the other is wrong.

The ego loves feeling right.

There might even be another side of the story that you’re not considering because you’re locked into your viewpoint.

Your Essence knows the trap of self-righteousness and sees things differently.

A mother copped an attitude about erroneous, perceived activity by her senior-aged daughter. Rather than talk about it or seeing proof to the contrary, she set a court date. The whole issue could be easily dismissed, but not even going to mediation altered her perspective.

Replacing her anger, frustration, hurt and fear of what her own mother was doing to her, the daughter began to send her mother love, disregarding any unforgiving attitudes. The mother’s now softening and questioning her hardline approach.

Empowerment through shifting your perspective to love and gratitude are more truly empowering than feeling justification through a lack of forgiveness. Maybe there’s another angle you’re overlooking.

Perhaps, given an opportunity, you can clear the energy through discussion or seeing things from another viewpoint.

Even if others are wrong, you can be emotionally free.

With gratitude,

Virginia

The reprinted post:

I rudely interrupted myself while grumbling in my head about things I didn’t like.

It’s when I remembered that I recently found out that three people, who played significant roles in my life, left the planet a few years ago. In addition, at least 56 of my high school classmates passed on.

Yet, I’m still here, and I am gifted with another day to make more mistakes, learn, change, grow, love and Be.

You’re reading this, which means you and I are in the same gifted boat. Even if your life has a few or lots of things going on that make you feel like you’re riding on choppy water, you’re alive. There’s definitely hope. Life can get better and greater.

Here’s how you can turn the tide to flow in your favor even more.

Gratitude is a powerful energy that shifts our focus away from what we don’t have, what’s not working, who done us wrong or who’s missing in our lives, how goofy the world is and everyone’s woeful inadequacies.

When we redirect our attention to gratitude, in spite of appearances that seduce us to believe the opposite, we open ourselves to receive beyond our wildest expectations. The impossible becomes possible.

I wondered how different people and religions value gratitude. With the upcoming American holiday of Thanksgiving, and my interest in sharing this attitude of gratitude with you, here are some quotes I found.

These also reflect why gratitude affects your success, money, relationships, life, health, happiness… and everything! As like attracts like, it’s Law of Attraction at its finest

Be sure to keep reading, because soon I’ll share a way of giving thanks that, when you practice it, WILL change your life.

---

Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough, and more. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos into order, confusion into clarity. It turns problems into gifts, failures into success, the unexpected into perfect timing, and mistakes into important events. Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today and creates a vision for tomorrow.“ Melodie Beattie

---

When I gladden my heart, I awaken the energy of gratitude. It is an energy that elevates and expands, and brings me to a deeper place in my heart. By opening my heart, I can feel gratitude deeply. Gratitude shifts the moment by shifting me. Nothing around me changes; I change.

Things do not create gratitude; the energy of joy inside of me creates gratitude.“  Deepak Chopra

[By the way, just like the sun shines above cloudy skies, underneath the funkiness you might feel at times is joy. Joy is always present; you’ll see it if you choose to look in its direction.]

---

 
Be not like those who honor their gods in prosperity and curse them in adversity.  In pleasure or pain, give thanks!“ Judaism.  Midrash, Mekilta to Exodus 20.20

 

---

[Here’s why focusing on what you don’t have creates lack. With gratitude, you focus on what you have.]

For whoever has, to him shall be given, and he shall have more abundance: but whoever has not, from him shall be taken away even that he has.“ Matthew 13:12, American King James Version

---

[Look how similar this is.]

“If you are grateful, I will give you more.”  The Koran 14:7

---

[Don’t wait to be grateful one day of the year.]

And if your gratitude is strong and constant, the reaction in Formless Substance will be strong and continuous; the movement of the things you want will be always toward you…

It is necessary, then, to cultivate the habit of being grateful for every good thing that comes to you; and to give thanks continuously.“ Wallace D. Wattles, The Science of Getting Rich

---

 

What’s the life-changing way to have gratitude?

During a group discussion of the above-mentioned book by Wattles, I suddenly heard this in a new way. It’s not just occasional gratitude; it’s living in a state of gratitude, continuous gratitude.

Gratitude, continuous gratitude, will change your life!

I made a decision for this moment, and then extending it to this minute (more moments), this hour, today, this week, lifetime and beyond, to give thanks continuously.

Will you join me?

I know I will get distracted from my choice to live in continuous gratitude.

However, when I catch myself, I can shift my focus away from lack, my pity pot and what’s not working to being grateful.

It won’t matter how many times I’ll fall off my wagon of continuous gratitude; I can always get back on.

So can you.

Happy Days of Gratitude and Giving Thanks!

 
P.S. Know someone who might enjoy this post? Please share.

I work with people, at any age,
who choose to share their gifts
or business in a BIGGER way
but don’t know how, feel stuck
or would benefit from new tools
or support.

I help them be richly compensated
doing what they love by discovering
their Soul’s goals.

Copyright © 2018 Soulgoals, All rights reserved.

WHEN BUTTONS ARE PUSHED

 Have you noticed people’s buttons getting pushed lately? Some respond with anger, frustration or depression. Others find that finger pointing, denial and avoidance are easier than talking things through.

 Opportunities abound to deal with issues, but some prefer to ignore the elephant in the room. It would take more than new glasses to correct that vision.

 Changing perspective helps: step back emotionally and observe in a detached way. This reminds you not to take it personally. But what should you do about it?

 Ask yourself: Is there something to get out of it, something to learn? Or is the point to get out of it and leave?

 And what’s the best action to take? This depends on the circumstances. But driving yourself bonkers and making yourself wrong only leads to a dead-end street.

 A lovely woman sent me a very ugly email. She wrote about demonic forces and people we once knew. She couldn’t be friends with me anymore because I was still associated with them, even though I wasn’t for years.

 Weeks later she apologized. Because of past injustices inflicted on her by this group, her deep pain was triggered. She obviously wasn’t herself when she wrote it.

 The point? I got out of it lessons of compassion; forgiveness; grace; and not judging as people make mistakes.

The action? Let go of the past and move on. We renewed our friendship.

 A few months later she sent another email explaining how she couldn’t be my friend because of my involvement with these same people.  

 The point? Get out of it. When people create too much drama and repeat patterns that they’re not shifting, it’s often best to step back.

The action? Don’t respond. Bless the situation and relationship and let them go.

 Here are tips on what you can do when buttons are pushed. Oh well, I can honestly say I’ve learned each one by doing the opposite.

 You can choose to push the easy button instead by using the following:

1. Breathe deeply in a relaxed way.
2. Step back emotionally and observe rather than become enmeshed with the story.
3. Listen to what’s being expressed and understand their perspective.
4. Let go of a need to be heard, validated and to express your viewpoint.
5. Ask yourself that even if you don’t like it: Why is it essential that others should think the way you think they should?
6. Tune in to your gut – what do you feel is true and the best action to take?

 “Forgive them for they know not what they do.” Then take action.

 Warning: using these tips will not give you the emotional exhilaration received from feeling right; trying to fix or rescue people; feeling victimized; having your ego stroked; expressing anger; trying to control; or the comfort of familiarity from reliving your sad story.

 It will:

• Bring you peace of mind and heart
• Awaken you to greater wisdom and awareness
• Honor others even if you’re sure they’ve lost their mind
• Reclaim your time and energy to enjoy life and pursue your goals
• Bring you better results in the long run.

 My cousin just called. “Be sure to tell people that everyone needs some silly in their lives and that laughter is the best medicine.” Thanks, Sharon, for the best ideas. Don’t take things too seriously. It’s all good.