Are You Selling Yourself Out? Probably!

Ever wonder why some people are crazymakers?

Friend,

“All unhappiness is caused by our trying to be limited, to be an ego. The more we are our Self, the happier we are. We will never be completely happy until we are completely being our Self.”

Lester Levenson

I’m writing this today because I’ve observed many people UNCONSCIOUSLY giving their power away. But they think their thinking is logical.

We give our power away when we allow others, the news, work, relationships, health, money, events, politics, etc. to upset or limit us or emotionally react in a negative way. In doing so, we deplete our energy – physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually.

The ego is a false identity that we think is real. It’s the part of us that’s fearful, worries, complains, gets angry and more.

I created the Liberation of Lunacy technique to help people gain mastery over the tyranny of our minds… that which we think is real, but it’s not!

Here’s an excerpt:

Can you remember times when you felt afraid, stuck, taken advantage of, frustrated, judgmental, overwhelmed, resistant, critical, hard on yourself, worried, stressed, confused, addicted or powerless – you’ve done it all and nothing helps? These are moments you were manipulated by the ego.

Just like all your bites can come from one mosquito, all of your negative emotions come from one source – the ego.

Liberation of Lunacy (LoL) Technique

Examples about truly lovely, nice people:

• A man felt uncomfortable complaining with me. He wanted to spend endless time analyzing his complaints or, if we looked at them from a more positive perspective, he’d change the subject. He resisted attempts to let go of his negativity and be free of the control his ego had on him. Even though his fears prompted him to make decisions that created financial losses, he continued to take actions based on his fears. But, despite evidence of how negativity literally doesn’t pay, he didn’t believe being positive and the Law of Attraction works – like attracts like.
• A sweet woman got terribly upset while sharing an experience with me and told me to “F” off when she became increasingly, emotionally unhinged. She felt she wasn’t being heard, and what she raged about was blaming someone else, her fears, self-justified anger and negativity. She was completely closed off to hearing a more expansive perspective, which she translated to my not hearing her. Later when I communicated with her about it, her response showed that she whitewashed her memory and changed her story about what she previously shared at length. What happens is that in the moment the ego is in control, it can’t hear what doesn’t affirm it. Then it can attack.
• A woman was distraught, crying and ranting, because she didn’t have a million dollar podcast contract like Joe Rogan. It was 10 AM on a Saturday, and it sounded like she’d been drinking. She really tried to get me to react and agree with her. I told her I wasn’t going to allow her to manipulate me emotionally the way she wanted. In response, she squealed in pain like an alien in the movies. She doesn’t even have a podcast or a blog.
• Several others dished out excuses. Excuses that were based on limited thinking. We’d address one, and 30 minutes later another would appear. Address that, but actually there was another issue that popped up soon after. On and on. Some felt quite self-justified, too. As I believe in these people (I wouldn’t continue that conversation with just anyone), I showed another way at looking at their concerns. Some were able to connect the dots and see their own games or at least change their behavior and be proactive.
• Some created a story about their (mis)interpretation of an experience or event, believed their own perception/ lies, then copped an attitude based on their limited perspectives. Of course, someone else is to blame. Drama ensues. The ego doesn’t like to be wrong.

Can you see why it’s lunacy? Have things like this happened to you? Have you done some variation of these to others? Probably.

That’s what occurs until we learn to break free of the ego’s control, replaced by emotional mastery and an observer or Soul perspective.

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The ego tries to pull others into its illusions and can get upset when they won’t play their games…. especially if they won’t go along with them as they did in the past.

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I write these stories so that you might see how the ego controls. Because your ego is the source of every time you limit yourself or feel limiting emotions. Also, you can see how others try to control you.

Fear not. You are more courageous than you may believe.

Peace is a Soul-sourced emotion, the real You, that’s more powerful than anger, blame, frustration, confusion, doubt, negative storytelling, excuses and more. When you find peace within, you’ll find answers to your most bothersome questions. You go beyond limited thinking about what’s possible to discovering freedom and infinite possibilities.

How? Start by recognizing the ego’s patterns. Take your power back. You don’t have to sell yourself out.

Virginia Goszewska, September 12, 2022

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Time to reclaim your power?
Contact me to learn how at:
virginia@soulgoals.com

I work with people who choose to share
their gifts or business in a BIGGER way
but don’t know how, feel stuck or could 
use new tools or support.

I help them connect with their Soul’s goals
and be richly compensated doing what
they love.

Copyright © 2022 Soulgoals, All rights reserved.

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Money and Telling a Guy I Didn’t Need Him

When you chase after people and money, they run in the other direction.

We met by chance when he was house hunting, and I just happened to be outside a home that I bought but hadn’t moved into yet.

After our brief meeting, he purchased the house next door because he created a fantasy about the two of us getting married.

This sweet man desperately wanted a woman.

Even as time went on, he didn’t have an interest to know me, my beliefs, what I do or if I cared about him. I was “nice,” and that’s all that mattered.

He so needed to feel loved. It was really all about him.

Needy people try to get fulfillment from something outside of themselves that they haven’t found within.

When he put serious moves on me, I told him that I didn’t need him.

I then learned that he heard this before when his ex-wife said the same thing on her way out the door.

I didn’t say it to hurt him. I’ve learned to guide my life by choice not neediness, especially when it comes to relationships.

Eventually, he found someone in a place of hardship who literally needed help. They got married, and he moved.

I see them on occasion. Now that the crisis has passed, they don’t look too happy together.

Whatever you chase after, because you need it, runs in the other direction.

This can appear to be a brain twister, but follow along because it’s a key to life.

It’s the reason you can have good relationships and, well, everything.

If you want or need a relationship, it means you don’t have one. Energetically, something’s missing. Lack attracts lack. You’re left wanting but not having.

However, when you come from a place of having, you attract more of what you have to you.  From an energy perspective, it doesn’t matter if you actually have it. The key is that you have the feeling within that you do.

It’s the same with needing business or money. If you need it, you push it away.

You can have anything you choose, as long as you don’t want it.

I told you this can be a brain twister. The more you get it, though, changes your life for the better.

When you want something, you’re sending out the energy of lack or not enough, what you don’t have.

Lack energy implies what you want is out there somewhere, but you don’t have it. You’re incomplete. So it will always be out there somewhere.

Ever run after a child or pet? They run the other way.

Ever have someone want you and chase after you? You feel like running and hiding.

Your goals and money will run away from you, too, if they’re out there somewhere and you’re chasing them.

Do you choose to want more or to actually have it?

This isn’t double talk. Consider it this way. Wanting and having are opposing energies.

You can’t drive forward and in reverse at the same time. At best, you’d go in circles.

The way out of this conundrum?

Let go.

To break free of self-sabotaging habits is why I created my Liberation of Lunacy (LoL) technique…  because we’re all a little crazy when the ego takes over and fills us with fear, anxiety, neediness, limit and doubt.

Instead of needing more money, business, time or a relationship, come from a place of “all your needs are met beyond your wildest expectation.”

That’s a first step in letting go.

Today is your day.

Total eclipse.

Ready to have your life eclipse for the better?

Claim how.

Be sure to include having fun and living with gusto!

With gratitude,

Virginia

P.S. Know someone who might enjoy reading this? Please forward.

I work with people who choose to share their gifts or business in a BIGGER way but don’t know how, feel stuck or would benefit from new tools or support.

I help them be richly compensated doing what they love by connecting with their Soul’s goals.

Curious how the Liberation of Lunacy (LoL) technique can help you? Contact me for a complimentary
Soulgoals’ Break-free Session.

Email me at virginia@soulgoals.com

Originally posted on my Soulgoals’ Blog, August 21, 2017 

Copyright © 2022 Soulgoals, All rights reserved.

I Learned This While Existing in a Living Hell

During my twenties, miserable because of a five-year relationship, I had a dream. For years I kept its message on my dresser, although I didn’t know what it meant or how to do anything about it:

 Find the Heart and Rescue It 

He had a Ph.D. in psychology and was a revered member of our spiritual community, which played into why it took me a while to realize I lived with a self-centered, master manipulator who cared only for himself.

He easily saw my vulnerabilities of low self-esteem and self-doubt and how to use them to intimidate me and undermine my self-confidence while bending me to his will.

Although we had been dating long distance, he lived a six-hour drive away, we solidified our legal commitment to be together within three weeks after my father passed away. 

Note: It’s recommended to avoid making big decisions after experiencing a death.

In our second month together, I was bullied to let go of my business and with it my financial freedom. Amongst countless other examples, he listened in on my phone conversations and would scream at me non-stop if I didn’t do what he wanted. He even left me stranded in a southwestern desert at 3 PM in the middle of the summer with no cash or credit cards as he drove away – to return 30 minutes later. 

In our third month together, the stress of what my life had become short-circuited my adrenals, thyroid, blood sugar and more – so I wasn’t able to speak my words in the right order, think well, have physical energy to move and would cry if someone said hello. 

Enabling this behavior was my belief there was something wrong with me. Years later, when I saw the 1944 movie Gaslight with Ingrid Bergman, I recognized that this was what he tried to do… make me believe I was crazy so he could control me.

My unhappiness induced me to question and think. 
 

He insisted his reality was truth, but was it? His created what I called a living hell on earth.

I made a bad choice to be with him, which put me on a sorrowful path. Eventually, I figured out that regardless of how many good choices I subsequently made, I was still on the wrong path. 

I had to listen to my heart, my truth, and not give my power away.
Even if others claimed to know more or be an authority.
Even at the risk of losing my worldly goods. 
Even with my perceived HUMILIATION that, once again, I made a relationship mistake.

Actually, it was my ego’s need to protect this self-image that held me back the most. 

My survival ultimately depended on my ability to listen to my guidance, speak up for MYSELF and not be cowered into obedient silence and submission.

When I got honest with me, changes occurred, which made my exit easy. I packed my car and was gone in three weeks. 

The good news is that this experience taught me to think for myself and not believe others’ so-called authority. I learned to separate what I saw was true vs. what others told me I should believe.

And be the coach I am today.

It’s like the person who says the proverbial, “Yes, I’ll still love you in the morning” … not. Beware: many people lie to get what they want. Many believe their own lies!

What life do you want to live? Are you living it? Are you willing to honestly speak up, at least to yourself, and acknowledge what’s in your heart? 

Don’t wait for permission. It’s YOUR life!

Edited excerpt from Soulgoals’ Blog Post May 8, 2011

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If you’d like support
to listen to
your heart and
what to do about it,
contact me
for a complimentary
Soulgoals’ Break-Free Session
by phone.
Email me at:
virginia@soulgoals.com

I work with people who choose to
enhance their lives or share their gifts 
in a BIGGER way but
don’t know how, feel stuck or could use new tools or support.

I help them be richly compensated doing what
they love by connecting with their Soul’s goals.

Copyright © 2022 Soulgoals, All rights reserved.

Can You Be Grateful About What Bugs You?

Once I asked someone who’s wise why things in my life weren’t working. I said that I practiced gratitude every morning and night. The reply I received was what was I doing the rest of the day?

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Gratitude, continuous gratitude, will change your life!

That can seem easier said than done at times, until we realize…

we’re rarely angry for the reason we think we’re angry. How dare they!

That feeling is not necessarily about the other person or situation being wrong. The emotion triggered may be from a similar, emotional memory or our perception that may or may not be accurate.

The reason we have charged emotions is because those challenging feelings surface (and then we get bugged about things) when it’s time for them to be released.

Have you noticed how sometimes people can jump to the wrong conclusion and then become upset by their interpretation, even if it’s false?

Regardless if the other was right or actually the wrongdoer, holding on to a lack of forgiveness or a one-sided, limiting perspective might feel empowering. It might feel validating, proof that you’re right and the other is wrong.

However, there might be another side of the story that’s not being considered because of being locked into a particular viewpoint.

The ego loves feeling right.

But your Essence knows the trap of self-righteousness and sees things differently.

A mother copped an attitude about perceived activity regarding her senior-aged daughter. Things she never did. Not even close. In fact, her accusations were ludicrous.

The whole issue could have been easily dismissed, but not even going to mediation altered her mother’s foolish perspective.

Rather than talking about it or seeing proof to the contrary, she set a court date!

She had her daughter evicted from her house through a court order the day before Thanksgiving. Her daughter had nowhere to go.

By the way, she had invited her daughter, who was down on her luck, to live with her. To do that, she had to sell her car and belongings and move over a thousand miles away.

Replacing her anger, frustration, hurt and fear of what her own mother was doing to her, the daughter began to send her mother love, disregarding any of her mother’s unforgiving attitudes.

The mother began to soften and question her hardline approach.

Empowerment through shifting your perspective to love and gratitude are more truly empowering than feeling justification through a lack of forgiveness or holding onto the feeling of what bugs you. Maybe there’s another angle you’re overlooking.

Perhaps, given an opportunity, you can clear the energy on whatever might be bugging you through discussion or seeing things from a different viewpoint. It doesn’t matter if that does or doesn’t work, love is the greatest healer.

Even if others are convinced you’re wrong, you can be emotionally free.

So if you get annoyed at your world and whatever bugs you about it, consider that there might be another perspective so that you can send love and give thanks, instead.

With gratitude,

Virginia

Edited from an excerpt of a November 19, 2018 Soulgoals’ Blog Post

Contact me to learn how a shift in perspective can dramatically improve your life:
virginia@soulgoals.com

I work with people who choose to share
their gifts or business in a BIGGER way
but don’t know how, feel stuck or could 
use new tools or support.

I help them ignite their Soul’s goals
and be richly compensated doing what
they love.

Copyright © 2021 Soulgoals, All rights reserved.

Angry? Frustrated? You’re Not Alone.

Here’s an excerpt of an email I sent a client who’s been experiencing challenges. Recently, I’ve observed people transitioning from the way their life has been to something new and different. That can bring up a variety of feelings, some pleasant and others not so much.   I remember thinking in the early 1990s that my entire life was about frustration. There wasn’t any part of it that worked, from health, finances and career to my marriage. All were falling apart. This perfect storm became the springboard that has shaped the rest of my life of personal discovery and helping people like you.     Change is in the air, welcoming it, liking it, wanting it or not.   For some, it’s an exciting adventure.   For others, a dark cloud hangs overhead.   You, like the rest of us, have had a lifetime of listening to the false guidance of your ego, that façade of an identity. For you, it includes difficult emotions like anger and frustration. These emotions are like software glitches.   Here’s what Wikipedia says about glitches… computer glitches are incorrectly written software, incorrect instructions given by the operator, undetected invalid data, undetected communications errors…   You are not your software.   In contrast, your Essence is prompting you to listen within. This is the part of you that knows “all is well.” Abraham-Hicks said: “Your emotions are your indicator of how your active thought blends, or doesn’t blend, with the thought Source is thinking about the same subject in the same moment.” The inner turmoil you’re experiencing is the conflict between your ego’s perspective and that of the Source within you. Naturally, your ego is taking an all out stand for you to listen to its lies, lies that lead you to feel frustrated, angry and needing to sort things out. To protect itself, it uses a type of logic in which it’s already trained you, indoctrinated into you, so you believe that it’s telling you the truth. It presents its case that leaves you feeling anger and frustration. The logic only works if you see things from its limited and fearful point of view. Habitual thinking creates entrenched neural pathways in the brain. These become your default, your easy “go to” ways you react. These reactions, instead of responses, don’t always serve you. Just because ideas are in your head does NOT make them true! However, you can most assuredly access your true Essence instead, as it is YOU! A key is to differentiate between the whispers of your ego and your Essence. The ego certainly doesn’t want you to be around positive people that shed light on how it manipulates you. This way it has you, back where you can be controlled by the stress and chaos of unsupportive emotions. In defense of the ego, it thinks it’s protecting you. But these patterns were created from a child’s approach to survival. When presented with adult situations, the peace of your Essence offers greater insight and direction. Ask your Essence to step forward to be heard, and choose to listen to its guidance. If you’d like help for  your life to be easier while getting results YOU want, contact me for a complimentary Do What You Love Break Free Session. Email me at: virginia@soulgoals.com I work with people who choose to share their gifts or business in a BIGGER way but don’t know how, feel stuck or would benefit from new tools or support. I help them be richly compensated doing what they love by discovering their Soul’s goals. Previously posted in Soulgoals’ Blog July 2019  Copyright © 2021 Soulgoals, All rights reserved.

Be Master of Your Fate

A family man in his early thirties was happily employed at a well-paying job for seven years. The young couple was ecstatic when they were able to purchase their own home.

Six months later, the business closed its doors. Tired and scared, his three replacement jobs weren’t generating enough income to meet expenses.

During our casual conversation, he detailed reasons why his former job was ideal and unique… and he hasn’t been and wouldn’t be able to find anything that would replace it. His story centered on loss and lack.

An undercurrent of fear crashed against his quiet desperation.

Unbeknownst to him, his portrayal of “telling it like it is” was launching him on a hopeless trajectory of not enough, dooming himself to repeat his cycle of things not working.

I gently brought up alternate perspectives. Other possibilities were available. It would be hard to find them if he thought they didn’t exist.

A couple of days later, I was told that his attitude was much lighter and optimistic. Feeling stuck shifted to how he could find better employment. He started writing plans to follow his passion as a musician.

Don’t fall for the ego’s seduction!
 

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The ego is a false identity and a clever bugger. It knows how to bamboozle you into feeling bad about yourself, regret your choices and wonder if your life has any more meaning than a slug.
 

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When you believe your sad emotions are telling you the truth, you can get lost in thinking, thinking, thinking, and trying to figure out what you’re going to do about… anything. Everything. That’s the ego for you; but it’s NOT you!

The ego will lure you to doubt yourself into believing that you can’t break free of your situation.

When you buy into negative “logic,” you feel bad. You can feel like you’re on a hamster wheel of you’re not enough, nothing you do is good enough, and you don’t have enough. You obsess and feel like chopped liver (especially unpalatable to vegetarians). You then attract more of the same. The cycle continues.

Remember, you are master of your fate.

Stop arguing with your thoughts of doubt, limit, confusion and fear. Instead, boost your confidence, and appreciate yourself! Look at the good you do and have done.

If you’re not finding positives in your finances or work, look to what you might consider simple things, such as being kind to animals. Build from there. Little steps add up to big ones.
 

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It matters not how strait the gate, 
How charged with punishments the scroll, 
I am the master of my fate, 
I am the captain of my soul.

William Ernest Henley, 1849 – 1903
 

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TIP:  Be Master of Your Fate

Listen to conversations that repeat in your head. Journal to let the negative ones go AND continue to write to gain perspective.

Next, write about your ideal outcome and feel the enthusiasm as if it or something better were already happening.

Set an intention that insights and direction will emerge. When they do, take action.

No matter what’s happening in your life, starting now, choose to be the master of your fate.

So be it!

Edited repost from Soulgoals’ Archives December 3, 2015

If you’d like support to change
your circumstances
(it is truly possible!) and 
master your fate,
contact me for a free consultation at:
virginia@soulgoals.com

I work with people who choose to share
their gifts or business in a BIGGER way
but don’t know how, feel stuck or could 
use new tools or support.

I help them ignite their Soul’s goals
and be richly compensated doing what
they love.”

Copyright © 2020 Soulgoals, All rights reserved.

Do You Wish Your Life Had Turned Out Differently?

Not happy with her life, she felt depressed for quite a while.

Although her current employment has gratifying moments, she’s caught in a dead-end job that’s light years away from the passion that lights her up.

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Why did she stay in a funk for so long?

She kept reflecting on her past and projecting it on her future.

 

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In her egoic mind’s way of limited thinking, success would continue to elude her no matter how hard she tried. “Nothing will ever work, so why bother?”

Another watched big parts of her life and years-long business eclipse into oblivion, and she felt that she was “losing everything.”

Yet another looked back at a lifetime of accomplishments and compared them to others. She thought life (and money) had passed her by while she was preoccupied drudging through drama, mediocrity and poor choices in relationships and affiliations.

Ignoring the good stuff, she felt her grand total added up to not being good enough.

The ego likes to judge and compare and creates suffering in the process.

However, when all of them looked deeper, their perspectives changed.

Your interpretation of events determines if you see and experience life as having mostly peaks or mostly valleys.

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To sum it up in a few words, that was then and this is now.

Now each is focused on starting a new chapter.

 

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Life is full of twists and turns, and the longer you live, the more ups as well as downs occur. Regardless, you’re always learning, and that’s progress. (Even if the learning seems to take forever!)

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Regret is a complete waste of time and energy and actually stops your forward movement.

Regret is like being on a train that’s going in the wrong direction. In an attempt to compensate, you walk down the aisle of the train in the direction from which the train has just come. No matter how fast you walk, you’ll never get closer to where you want to go.

 

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Once, while talking to one of my teachers, I said I felt like several years of my life were a wasteland. With a big world out there, my world felt barren.

He asked, “What did you learn?”

Interestingly, while outwardly my life lacked adventure, it produced many of my biggest growth experiences.

What I thought was a dry desert was a turning point. That time was actually part of my schooling to more effectively help people get unstuck and, instead, be richly compensated doing what they love – in relationships, health, finances and life! 

When momentum from my former, fast-paced activities slowed down, I thought my life had stalled. I later realized I had been on a fast train heading in the wrong direction. Shifting gears provided an opportunity to let go of my old ways that I erroneously thought were my “right” ways.

My new track was the route to greater authenticity, fulfillment and success.

You are scripting your life and business.

You don’t have to try to defend or justify why you are where you are now because of your past history.

Simply live in the present and move forward.

If you don’t like parts of it, how can you put them in a more empowered perspective?

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Ask your inner wisdom how everything that’s happened in your life and business has all been a foundation for your next chapter.

 

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If you wished your life or business had turned out differently, this is your moment to gain insight and, as if you’re writing a play, create your next act. Script it so that the best is yet to come.

What’s your next chapter?

 

Know someone who might enjoy reading this? Please forward.

Reprinted from Soulgoals Archives posted August 7, 2017.

Would you feel relieved to get support creating your next chapters to be your best ever? Curious how this could possibly happen to you, especially considering what your life is and has been? Don’t let more years go by. Contact me to learn more about a free Soulgoals Break-free Session at virginia@soulgoals.com

I work with people who choose to share their gifts in a BIGGER way but don’t know how, feel stuck or would benefit from new tools or support. I help them be richly compensated doing what they love by aligning with their Soul’s goals.

www.soulgoals.com

Copyright © 2020 Soulgoals, All rights reserved.

Angry? Frustrated? Here’s What I Wrote To My Client.

Whatever thoughts you have that don’t feel good, whatever fears you have… they’re not about you!! They’re also not about the economy, a virus or any other circumstance!

We all created, everyone of us, a false identity, which is known as the ego. Some call it the mind – or monkey mind.

No, the ego isn’t just about those who we consider braggadocios.

It’s the part of us that feels fear, doubt, anxiety, lack, sorrow, sadness and wonders about “what if” the worse happens. What if you get sick? What about your finances? And on and on.

It’s the part that berates us for not feeling good enough, regretting the past and is fearful about the future – and, oh, how it disapproves of you in countless ways.

However, the greater part of us, an invisible yet far more powerful Essence, is within, too.

How can you access that place of calm, peace and happiness?

Soon I’ll offer a teleconference to help you understand and LET GO of your ego being in charge of your life.

You’ll learn how to allow your innate, inner mastery to be in control, new ways to set goals and MANIFEST THEM!

Interestingly, by letting go of negative emotions, we open to receive whatever we choose into our lives. Money. Health. Love. Peace. 

In the meantime, I’m sharing a Soulgoals’ post from my August 12, 2019 archive about the ego.

It’s just a hint of what it is and how it impacts you.

With gratitude,

Virginia

 

Here’s an excerpt of an email I sent a client who’s been experiencing challenges. Recently, I’ve observed people transitioning from the way their life has been to something new and different. That can bring up a variety of feelings, some pleasant and others not so much. I remember thinking in the early 1990s that my entire life was about frustration. There wasn’t any part of it that worked, from health, finances and career to my marriage. All were falling apart. And why was God allowing me and others to suffer? This perfect storm became the springboard that has shaped the rest of my life of personal discovery and helping people like you.

 

Change is in the air, welcoming it, liking it, wanting it or not. For some, it’s an exciting adventure. For others, a dark cloud hangs overhead. You, like the rest of us, have had a lifetime of listening to the false guidance of your ego, that façade of an identity. For you, it includes difficult emotions like anger and frustration. These emotions are like software glitches. Here’s what Wikipedia says about glitches… computer glitches are incorrectly written software, incorrect instructions given by the operator, undetected invalid data, undetected communications errors… You are not your software. In contrast, your Essence is prompting you to listen within. This is the part of you that knows “all is well.”   Abraham-Hicks said: “Your emotions are your indicator of how your active thought blends, or doesn’t blend, with the thought Source is thinking about the same subject in the same moment.”      The inner turmoil you’re experiencing is the conflict between your ego’s perspective and that of the Source within you.   Naturally, your ego is taking an all out stand for you to listen to its lies, lies that lead you to feel frustrated, angry and needing to sort things out. To protect itself, it uses a type of logic in which it’s already trained you, indoctrinated into you, so you believe that it’s telling you the truth. It presents its case that leaves you feeling anger and frustration. The logic only works if you see things from its limited and fearful point of view. Habitual thinking creates entrenched neural pathways in the brain. These become your default, your easy “go to” ways you react. These reactions, instead of responses, don’t always serve you. Just because ideas are in your head does NOT make them true! However, you can most assuredly access your true Essence instead, as it is YOU! A key is to differentiate between the whispers of your ego and your Essence. The ego certainly doesn’t want you to be around positive people that shed light on how it manipulates you. This way it has you, back where you can be controlled by the stress and chaos of unsupportive emotions. In defense of the ego, it thinks it’s protecting you. But these patterns were created from a child’s approach to survival. When presented with adult situations, the peace of your Essence offers greater insight and direction. Ask your Essence to step forward to be heard, and choose to listen to its guidance.   If you’d like help for  your life to be easier and more satisfying, contact me for a complimentary Do What You Love Break Free Session. Email me at: virginia@soulgoals.com I work with people who choose to share their gifts or business in a BIGGER way but don’t know how, feel stuck or would benefit from new tools or support. I help them be richly compensated doing what they love by discovering their Soul’s goals.

Copyright © 2020 Soulgoals, All rights reserved.

You Don’t Own Me – Enough of Crazy-Makers and Annoying Thoughts

“If you do not run your subconscious mind yourself,
someone else will run it for you.”
Florence Scovel Shinn

This is a reprint of an email I sent to my clients on March 31, 2014. Now I’m sharing it with you.

While driving, a client told me that he had to pull over to the side of road to scream at his thoughts to shut up.

It reminds me of these lyrics: “You don’t own me. I’m not just one of your many toys… And don’t tell me what to do. And don’t tell me what to say… So just let me be myself. That’s all I ask of you.”

Few welcome being controlled, yet most are controlled by feelings and thoughts they don’t want.

Have you ever been plagued by beating yourself up with worry and fear over money; stress about time or relationships; grief; suffering over the way you look or feel; confusion over what to do; sadness or countless other ways of feeling bad? That’s why many turn to drugs, alcohol, food, over-working and blaming others.

What to do?

Gotta DO something. Ah yes, the default response: analyze, take time to process, wrap your brain around it or intellectually understand.  

But here’s the trickster’s game of your ego, which is the false identity you think is you.

Because our computer/ brain was never programmed with how to get rid of these feelings and thoughts, we end up feeling worse because we can’t find answers.

Or we get ideas that we can’t get to make work, blame ourselves… but keep trying ineffective approaches.

As a client said, it’s like going to a dry well looking for a drink of water, and the well is toxic anyway.

Regardless, most have a habit of trying to figure out how to let go of the way they feel, and they often can’t allow themselves to hear anything that doesn’t center around mental solutions. If you’ve done this, it’s an indicator that you’ve given your power to your ego to control you, own you, instead of knowing how to gain mastery of your life.

Results? As like attracts like, if you’re feeling negative you’ll attract more negativity. Positive attracts positive.

If you feel unwanted emotions, who’s having you feel this way?  They may have started with childhood messages or emerged because of circumstances, but there’s no one in your head telling you to think or feel this way.

As you’re the one who’s doing it, you CAN choose to do something differently.

Before you start beating yourself up about having beaten yourself up, there’s NOT something pathetically wrong with you. It’s the way the ego works, and we all have one.  BUT IT DOESN’T HAVE TO CONTROL YOUR LIFE,  MAKE YOU FEEL MISERABLE, DRIVE YOU NUTS OR HOLD YOU BACK FROM MAKING YOUR DREAMS COME TRUE!

Everything is energy, and the energy from thoughts or feelings can be released. They’re only feelings. They don’t have to own you.

Years ago while we were talking, a friend of mine felt anxiety about her upcoming divorce. I suddenly felt anxiety in my gut, but hers was gone. I said I didn’t want it and gave it back to her. We laughed as we bounced the sick in the gut feeling back and forth between us before deciding to let it go. In other words, we could control the presence and absence of this gut-wrenching feeling which meant we could simply let it go.

This includes any feeling!

You can do the same.

Instead of acting helpless in the grips of Robo-Ego, know that you’re in charge and undesirable feelings can leave.

Here are a few tips:

• If you want or need something, you’re coming from lack. You’ll be perpetually in a place of wanting instead of having what you choose.
• What you resist persists. Although it sounds counter-intuitive, if you don’t like something, you’re holding onto it.
• When you let go of trying to control, wanting validation or desiring safety, you can have them.

Ever notice when men or women want a relationship? The objects of their desire want to run. Same thing with money, health or anything.

The freedom everyone longs for breezes in when we let go because then we allow our spirit, our wise self within, to be in charge. It can happen in seconds not years. But we block ourselves from having what we really, really want when we clutch onto yucky feelings in our chest or gut or when we’re stuck in our heads.

There are underlying beliefs we’ve tucked away that impact us, but they can be prompted to surface and be released.

Everyone has the ability to let go although some resist. So, we come back to who owns you?

You DO have a choice.

The ego is at the core of all the lack of success and suffering we experience.

I’m more than happy to share phenomenally effective tools I’ve learned and created to unravel patterns and help you release their incessant drone of control, disapproval and insecurity so you experience true freedom and make your dreams come true.

Those dreams can be anything from financial success to living a better life.

What would feel better? Feeling anxiety or having peace? Wanting success or having success?

If you’d like to learn more about letting go so you can master your feelings and have what you really, really want, please contact me at virginia@soulgoals.com.

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I received this email from Kathryn Brown, CEO of Adventure Más, describing results from a recent VIP Letting Go Session. (She creates zip lines and more. How cool is that!)  Here’s a practical demonstration of what letting go can do about relationships and money:

Toward the end of my second time participating in Virginia’s program, I decided to try one of her sessions designed to help clear the ego of its default “methods of operation.” At first I resisted. I didn’t want to add anything more to my plate, even knowing that it would more than likely exponentially assist me in clearing old programs that were blocking my progress. I thought, “I can do this later.” It was really no surprise, given the success I had with her program, when I witnessed the synchronicity of events on the day I agreed to do the session.

I realized when I arrived at Virginia’s that I had forgotten my card I had written my issues on for our session. No problem—Virginia picked up on the issues I had forgotten.

It was a great session, and Virginia was very gracious with her time. It was sometime after I got home that I found the card I wrote my issues on and noticed my husband’s handwriting on the back of it. Although I hadn’t gone into any details about what I was going to talk about, he had picked up on many of the issues Virginia and I had discussed and very sensitively and lovingly addressed them bringing me to tears. The issues were about control and security although we had what I considered to be a good relationship.

One of the great blessings was realizing on a much deeper level that everything we think and feel about someone, they know, whether spoken or not.

Our judgments have a big impact on our lives and can block our progress. I began to see how my judgments driven by ego, no matter how quickly I thought I let them go, were really hanging around. My need for control and security was larger than I had imagined.

Additionally, I had a business contract that was ready to renew. Not only did it renew but I was offered more money than before!

What I walked away with were:

• Skills I can use in my everyday life when I catch myself in my own ego traps.
• I feel much more at peace in situations.
• I am very much at ease with who I am.
• I’m comfortable with my need for control and security at times—I just love them unconditionally and release them unconditionally.
• I have learned to let go of many things I had so tightly hung onto out of an unconscious fear.
• The world keeps spinning but I don’t have to.

I would recommend this session to anyone whether you think you are “ready or not”!

Kathryn Brown
President & CEO of Adventure Más

If you’d like to learn more about letting go so you can master your feelings and make room to have what you really, really want, please contact me at virginia@soulgoals.com

With gratitude,
Virginia

If you’d like to find out
more about how you can
be free of what’s 
holding you back so
you can live a more
wonderful life,
contact me
for a complimentary
Do What You Love Break Free Session.

Email me at:
virginia@soulgoals.com

 

I work with people
who choose to share their gifts
or business in a BIGGER way
but don’t know how, feel stuck
or would benefit from new tools
or support.

I help them be richly compensated
living a life they love.

Quotes by Deepak Chopra: The Seven Spiritual Laws of Success

Deepak Chopra standing next to me as he prepared to enter the stage in 2012.

The Seven Spiritual Laws of Success – A Practical Guide to the Fulfillment of Your Dreams by Deepak Chopra is a transformational work. “Desperate striving isn’t necessary or even desirable. In the natural world, creation comes forth with ease. A seed doesn’t struggle to become a tree―it simply unfolds in grace.”

May you enjoy manifesting your heart’s desires, be they business or personal, with ease and grace.

“The Ego, however, is not who you really are. The ego is your self-image; it is your social mask; it is the role you are playing. Your social mask thrives on approval. It wants control, and it is sustained by power, because it lives in fear.”

“At the moment you consciously make a choice, pay attention to your body and ask your body, “If I make this choice, what happens?” If your body sends a message of comfort, that’s the right choice. If your body sends a message of discomfort, then it’s not the appropriate choice.”

“Attachment to money will always create insecurity no matter how much money you have in the bank.”

“Consciously put your attention in the heart and ask your heart what to do.”

“When you struggle against this moment, you’re actually struggling against the entire universe.”

“Attention energizes, and intention transforms. Whatever you put your attention on will grow stronger in your life. Whatever you take your attention away from will wither, disintegrate, and disappear.”

“Success in life could be defined as the continued expansion of happiness and the progressive realization of worthy goals.”

“Least effort is expended when our actions are motivated by love, because nature is held together by the energy of love.”

“What does responsibility mean? Responsibility means not blaming anyone or anything for your situation, including yourself. Having accepted this circumstance, this event, this problem, responsibility then means the ability to have a creative response to the situation as it is now. All problems contain the seeds of opportunity, and this awareness allows you to take the moment and transform it to a better situation or thing.”

“When you seek power and control over other people, you waste energy. When you seek money or power for the sake of the ego, you spend energy chasing the illusion of happiness instead of enjoying happiness in the moment. When you seek money for personal gain only, you cut off the flow of energy to yourself, and interfere with the expression of nature’s intelligence. But when your actions are motivated by love, there is no waste of energy. When your actions are motivated by love, your energy multiplies and accumulates — and the surplus energy you gather and enjoy can be channeled to create anything that you want, including unlimited wealth.”

“But when our internal reference point is our spirit, our actions are motivated by love, and there is no waste of energy. Our energy multiplies, and the surplus energy we gather can be channeled to create anything we want, including unlimited wealth. When we harness the power of harmony and love, we use our energy creatively for the experience of affluence and evolution.”

“By looking at the behavior of the cells in our own body, we can observe the most extraordinary and efficient expression of The Seven Spiritual Laws. This is the genius of nature’s intelligence. These are the thoughts of God – the rest are details.”

“We have stopped for a moment to encounter each other, to meet, to love, to share. This is a precious moment, but it is transient. It is a little parenthesis in eternity. If we share with caring, lightheartedness and love, we will create abundance and joy for each other. And then this moment will have been worthwhile.”

 

I work with people who choose to share their gifts or
business in a BIGGER way but don’t know how, feel stuck or
could use new tools or support.

I help them be richly compensated doing what
they love by discovering their Soul’s goals.