What Do You Do? Follow or Be Courageous?

“Do what you feel in your heart to be right – for you’ll be criticized anyway. You’ll be damned if you do, and damned if you don’t.”

Eleanor Roosevelt

“I’m the man of the house (although he didn’t act like a responsible one, financially or otherwise), and you need to follow me and support me in everything I do.”

However, she wasn’t considered by him to be a good wife because she started to say no.

In the end, she lost her house that she bought before she married, lost her car, lost her savings, nearly lost her mind, plus the police showed up so often that they knew her by name – because when she disagreed, the beatings would begin.

For him, it was a personal affront that she wouldn’t agree with him.
 
She told me, “I was brought up to be compliant with my husband. But he was an idiot, and the results proved it. He was misogynistic and would never take any advice – but instead would do the opposite.

“I was going in two different directions. How can you follow someone if they’re taking you to a dead end, and all the time you know that direction is wrong?

“Even a rat has enough sense to jump off a sinking ship. I had to leave the relationship. I had to save my life.”

Just because people you “should” believe say something, demand your obedience to follow, repeatedly lie to fit their own purpose but call it the truth, doesn’t make it true.

The good news. If it weren’t for him, she never would have the clarity she has now to speak her truth, especially in a male-dominated industry where she works.

Her ex trained her to no longer be a wimp and not value others’ reactions more than trusting herself.

She knew better. But she allowed herself to be bullied by someone who was metaphorically blind and demanded unreasonable loyalty.

Eventually, she allowed herself to act on what she knew, what she had the courage to honestly see, and leave him.

Sounds crazy? You think you wouldn’t do something like that?

This is what belief systems can do. If a person believes something, even though the belief is false or doesn’t make sense or can be harmful, people often stick with it.

Her belief was she was taught to be compliant to her husband. See where that belief brought her?

While in my twenties and in a horrific marriage, I had a dream. For months later, although I couldn’t understand its significance at the time, I put its quote on my dresser.

FIND THE HEART AND RESCUE IT. 

Friend, what do you see? Is there something in your life where you know better, you’re ignoring it, but you’re following obediently or blindly anyway?
 
Courage. You can allow yourself to know what you know. Call it for what it is, even if only to yourself.

DON’T GIVE AWAY YOUR POWER.

• Think for yourself, not what others tell you or what you read on the internet.  If what you firmly believe in is showing cracks and not working like you thought it should, reconsider.
• See, and then take action according to what your gut and heart tell you, along with your logic, instead of what others say you should feel or do or be.

You may discover your personal honesty is the inevitable route to freedom.

“Speak what you think today in hard words and tomorrow speak what tomorrow thinks in hard words again, though it contradict every thing you said today.”

Ralph Waldo Emerson

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Time to reclaim your power?
Contact me to learn how at:
virginia@soulgoals.com

I work with people who choose to share
their gifts or business in a BIGGER way
but don’t know how, feel stuck or could 
use new tools or support.

I help them ignite their Soul’s goals
and be richly compensated doing what
they love.

Original Soulgoal Missive written in 2002   

Copyright © 2021 Soulgoals, All rights reserved.

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TIP: The Happier Choice

A man tried to passive-aggressively manipulate a woman, by attempting to get her to doubt herself, so she would do what he wanted. An insecure woman controls her friend’s behavior by using her illness and fearful threats of taking away something he needs. He goes along with it because the intimidation clouds his ability to believe in himself and that he can find a solution elsewhere. A therapist got angry with a peer who didn’t buy into her fear-based bullying which she communicated by demeaning words, raised voice, blaming others and mocking tone. When change occurs, some people feel they’re losing control. It can feel as if their very life is threatened, and they’ll do whatever it takes to survive. Chances are the perpetrators won’t see or believe what they’re doing. Stand at arm’s length if you try to tell them lest they throw a punch. Ever hear the adage about not trying to teach a pig how to fly? A pig can’t fly, and you’ll just irritate the pig. Yes, forgive them for they know not what they do… and take care of yourself! You have a responsibility to be steward of YOUR life. You have a choice to be a follower of someone else’s fears and expectations, and give away your power, or think for yourself. You won’t be truly happy unless you follow the rhythm of your own drum. In avoiding dealing with situations like these (and there are countless variations), you might believe that when the people disappear into the sunset, it will be happy trails forever more. Not true. Unless you address your “stuff,” you carry this vibration, these feelings, in your energy field. You’ll attract more of the same type of people and experiences in the future, even if your current situation goes away. Why? Life offers you opportunities to grow, release what’s not serving you and be free. What does this have to do with you and your goals? If you succumb to fear, you may find yourself doubting your ability to be richly compensated doing what you love. You deserve much more.

Your TIP is to make the happier choice.

• Trust yourself. Listen to the voice within and what your gut is telling you. Don’t elevate others’ opinions over your own.
• Believe in your Self. YOU have a hotline to the Divine. Don’t diss that connection by letting others convince you that they know what’s good for you more than you do.
• Don’t give away your power to fear and self-doubt (others or your own).

How can you do this?

• Make choices on your behalf instead of trying to please people or kowtowing to fear. Your choices matter. You matter.
• Listen to your inner guidance. Even if you’ve been ignoring it for a while doesn’t mean your spirit isn’t available 24/7 to give you nudges as well as to light up the best direction for you to take.
• Pay attention to how you feel not to what you think you should do based on others’ opinions. Let good-feeling mojo be your guide.
• Be in the now. The ego will have you long for or regret the past or be afraid of future what-ifs and worse-case scenarios. In the present, you can change your thinking and handle anything. Your power is in this moment.
• Anticipate the best! Why not? It’s the attitude that brings positive results.

You can achieve your dreams in ways that surpass your wildest imagination. However, you must be a vibrational match to them.

Fear, manipulation, doubt and worry create more of the same. None of these are real.

Remember your Source, the real You, and make the happier choice: loving, supportive, creative, growing, free and in the Now.

Remember this, and you’re unstoppable!

Do you know people you think might benefit from my TIP? Please share. If this TIP offers you insight into squirrely situations, please subscribe.