Here’s a simple formula:
If you’re used to thinking it’s all your fault and you screwed up (again), it’s probably the other person who’s the culprit.
Your programming includes the belief that there’s something wrong or oddly divergent about you, so now you believe it. Then you attract others who accuse you of the same thing, which adds proof that your seeming inadequacy must be true. The only reason this keeps happening is because your beliefs attract experiences that mirror your thinking and feeling. Your core assumption that there’s something wrong with you is false and can leave you feeling your life is out of control.
If you’re used to blaming, pointing fingers and complaining about other people, the issue probably is yours.
Your programming includes not taking responsibility for how you’re creating your life and then projecting your feelings on others. You really believe other people are to blame for the wrongs done to you. On top of that, if you blame hard enough, you might get others to doubt themselves or feel shame… then you feel in control. You can be very annoyed if others don’t go along with your beliefs or you can feel they just don’t get it. If only they’d apologize, you’d be validated… but the relief doesn’t last for long because the underlying issue hasn’t been released.
Regardless if you unwittingly try to control others’ behaviors or allow others to control how you feel, the underlying trickster is the same.
Here are excerpts from my September 2015 blog post:
Who’s Controlling Your Life?
Ever feel that you want to crawl into bed with the covers pulled over your head? Feelings arise when thoughts add interpretation to emotions… which lead to beliefs… which can create those yucky feelings like frustration, disappointment and suffering. Hey, it’s not just you. We’re all wired like this, and we can change it!
Eckhart Tolle said “the ego believes it is real and tries hard to maintain its supremacy.” He shares that negative states of mind, such as anger, resentment, fear, worry and envy are products of the ego. When it’s in control, these appear to be justified and usually another person is blamed for these feelings. The true cause of this skewed thinking is not found in your life but in the very structure of the egoic mind.
How Can You Tell If You’ve Been Invaded Like The Walking Dead?
Ask if what you believe is true. You’re right, they’re wrong. You have an emotional charge. You can’t shake negative feelings and mind chatter. Your filter believes you see clearly, but your vision is clouded by a finger pointing at inductees into your Villains’ Hall of Fame.
If you’re reading this with some comprehension, in this moment, your ego has taken a hike. Left to the ego’s devices, this information does not compute.
Trekkie Talk
Data, an enlightened artificial intelligence life form, gets it as he talks with a primitive clone of himself in Star Trek Nemesis:
Data: You have been programmed to gather information that can be used against this ship.
Clone: I do not understand.
Data: I know.
And Data detached the clone from its power source.
When the ego’s program is running, there’s little understanding. It’s like seeing through a glass darkly as the person becomes a pawn to do the ego’s bidding. When YOU are in charge, you’ve got the bandwidth, clarity and energy to make your dreams real.
Liberation of Lunacy (LoL)
I created a tool called Liberation of Lunacy (LoL) to free yourself of doubt, limit, fear and lack through your power of choice, perspective and putting your Essence in charge. We’re all a little bit crazy when the ego takes charge. Meanwhile, here’s how to start freeing yourself when the siren sings you’ve really got a hold on me.
You’re More Than Enough
Don’t fall for lies of limitation.
The ego is a tool and will echo what you think and say. So quit beating yourself up. Stop blaming others. Go beyond the separation between you and others. Let go of trying to control or allowing others to control the way you feel and act.
Instead, shift your focus to you are more than enough. Actually, you’re awesome! Look for what’s good in you. You can do this. You’ll feel lighter, which makes it easier to take action on what’s important to you.
P.S. Know someone who might
like this? Please forward.
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