Stop Fear in Its Tracks

June 3, 2019

Please enjoy my Soulgoal Missive, which I resurrected from my July 2002 archives. This was the year after the September 11 terrorist attacks, and fear was rampant.

“Nothing ever happened in the past; it happened in the Now.
Nothing will ever happen in the future; it will happen in the Now.”

Eckhart Tolle, The Power of Now

Anxiety and worry reside in many like a low-grade fever that won’t go away.

People work, live, and don’t notice fear most of the time because it’s so familiar. It can lurk in the background like a gnawing in back of the mind that something might happen… a feeling of anticipation, waiting for the other shoe to fall.

There are countless ways to mask it, such as using power over others, escapes like too much television, overuse of substances, addictions, sex, being controlling, seeking approval, and anger.

Fear. It’s often fear of the future, the unknown, that somehow, something might happen, and we won’t be able to handle it.

We can never cope with the future. When our mental imaginings run rampant into what danger might be lurking, we incapacitate ourselves.

We can always cope in the now, in this present moment of time. Remember the adage that we are only given what we can handle.

We always have the ability to make it to the next stage of life. Always.

“So let me assert my belief that the only thing we have to fear is fear itself – nameless, unreasoning, unjustified terror which paralyzes needed efforts to convert retreat into advance.” 

Franklin D. Roosevelt, U.S. President during World II

What else can be done to diminish fear?

If you want yeast to multiply, feed it sugar. If you want fear to grow, feed it fear.

If you want to reduce fear, take a deep breath and surround what you fear with love. I know this can sound crazy, but consider this.

The aim of terrorists is to create fear and terror. Generating fear in others makes them stronger as it’s their food, their energy source. Instilling fear is the outcome they’re trying to create, so our feeling fear encourages them to create more terror.

Unconditional love short-circuits them. They become like the Wicked Witch of the West and their power to create fear in others starts to melt. The fury of anger cannot ride on love.

Overcoming the domination of fear IS possible! Here’s a recent Success Story of one of my clients, LisaBeth Thomas:

 “With Virginia’s coaching my world totally changed.  She showed me how to let go of the fears and let in my success. Now I am getting new business and opportunities each month!  My energy and enthusiasm are through the roof, and there is no stopping me or the growth of my company!”


  LisaBeth (LB) Thomas, The Big Cheese.TV, LLC; Producer, Speaker, Leading Brand and Media Strategist; Founding Member & Past President of Texas Women in Business (TWIB); an Austin Business Journal’s Top 25 Woman of Influence

Thoughts, feelings, and prayers are real and are felt around the world.

We have the ability to impact life by living in this moment of time with the spirit of love. 

Right now as you read this, you can offer love and goodwill to the Life Force and let it be distributed wherever It chooses. Now, you just made a difference.

That which we fear diminishes and eventually disappears as we wake up to this awareness.

Who do you trust, a Higher Power or fear? Hint: Who do you know is the biggest kid on the block, every block, everywhere, throughout eternity?

Maybe you’ve been wearing your fear like an irreversible tattoo when it’s only a rub-on that can be removed. Switch your attention to the now rather than worry about an unknown future, and the fear washes off.

Fear is your interpretation of events, a misuse of your imagination, and you have the power to change your perspective.

Fill the now with love, and not only is there no room left for fear within you, but that which you fear dwindles. 

It doesn’t mean you agree with what others do or a situation. It does mean you don’t give them the power to control you.

There’s a Zen story about a Japanese warrior waiting in prison after capture. The fear of interrogation, torture, and execution overwhelmed him, and he couldn’t sleep. Then he remembered the words of his spiritual master, “Tomorrow is not real. It is an illusion. The only reality is now.” He fell peacefully asleep. 

Your challenge, if you choose to accept, is to live in the moment with love.

Observe your reaction when fear arises in you and recognize that the fear has nothing to do with this moment in time.

Instead of worrying and being afraid of what might happen, redirect your attention to the now. Replace the feelings of fear with gratitude, love, and goodwill to Life.

Success Thought

“Focus on what you want. Dwelling on your fears will bring them upon you…We need to enjoy what we have right now and live right now. Fearing loss is not living in the now. Fearing loss is living in the future.”

Andrew Matthews, Being Happy! A Handbook to Greater Confidence & Security

Want to be free of the influence of fear
so you can live your ideal life?
It IS possible!!

Contact me for a complimentary
Do What You Love Break Free Session.

http://www.soulgoals.com/contact-me/#form

I work with people
who choose to share their gifts
or business in a BIGGER way
but don’t know how, feel stuck
or would benefit from new tools
or support.

I help them be richly compensated
doing what they love by discovering
their Soul’s goals.

Copyright © 2019 Soulgoals, All rights reserved.

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Happy Memorial Day!

May 27, 2019
All we have of freedom, all we use or know -This our fathers bought for us long and long ago. – Rudyard Kipling, The Old Issue, 1899

While you enjoy the liberty to do whatever you choose today – be with friends and family, catch up on your to do list, have fun, work, kick back and do nothing – there are those who risked their lives so we can enjoy these freedoms.

Memorial Day is a time to recognize what others have given in service for us to live in democracy in the U.S.A. Although imperfect at times (well, lots of times), we are on a quest to create what the Preamble to the Constitution calls “a more perfect union.”

The Preamble is a short, introductory statement of the Constitution’s fundamental purposes and guiding principles. It posits what the Founding Fathers’ intentions were regarding the Constitution’s meaning and what they hoped it would achieve:

We the People of the United States, in Order to form a more perfect Union, establish Justice, insure domestic Tranquility, provide for the common defence, promote the general Welfare, and secure the Blessings of Liberty to ourselves and our Posterity, do ordain and establish this Constitution for the United States of America.

Recently, I learned that each year on Memorial Day, a national moment of remembrance takes place at 3 PM local time.

As you go about your life, take a moment to give a sacred nod of appreciation to those who cared enough about us and this ideal of democracy to serve their country. 

For those who made the ultimate sacrifice is “Hymn to the Fallen” by John Williams

“In honor of the soldiers who give us the freedoms we have today.”

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Omd9_FJnerY&t=1s 

 

 

Ready to make a bigger difference?
Contact me for a complimentary
Do What You Love Break Free Session.

Email me at:http://www.soulgoals.com/contact-me/#form


I work with people
who choose to share their gifts
or business in a BIGGER way
but don’t know how, feel stuck
or would benefit from new tools
or support.

I help them be richly compensated
doing what they love by discovering
their Soul’s goals.

 

Copyright © 2019 Soulgoals, All rights reserved.

 

You Make a Difference – and Here’s the Proof

May 20, 2019

I invite you to enjoy my Soulgoal Missives, first published July 6, 2001.


You make a difference. Regardless how you feel, how powerful or powerless you may think you are, your very existence makes a difference.

What kind of a difference you make is up to you.

On December 29, 1972, Edward N. Lorenz, a mathematician at the Massachusetts Institute of Technology who became a meteorologist, gave a speech at the American Association for the Advancement of Science. He described a phenomenon that was used to describe the impact of minute influences upon weather systems, which he called the “Butterfly Effect”:

  1. If a single flap of a butterfly’s wings can be instrumental in generating a tornado, so also can all the previous and subsequent flaps of the wings of millions of other butterflies, not to mention the activities of innumerable more powerful creatures, including our own species.
  2. If the flap of a butterfly’s wings can be instrumental in generating a tornado, it can equally well be instrumental in preventing a tornado.

Let’s expand this idea more with this excerpt from John Heider, The Tao of Leadership called “The Ripple Effect”:

Do you want to be a positive influence in the world? First, get your own life in order. Ground yourself in the single principle so that your behavior is wholesome and effective. If you do that, you will earn respect and be a powerful influence.

Your behavior influences others through a ripple effect. A ripple effect works because everyone influences everyone else. Powerful people are powerful influences.

If your life works, you influence your family.
If your family works, your family influences the community.
If your community works, your community influences the nation.
If your nation works, your nation influences the world.
If your world works, the ripple effect spreads throughout the cosmos.

Remember that your influence begins with you and ripples outward. So be sure that your influence is both potent and wholesome.

How do I know that this works?

All growth spreads outward from a fertile and potent nucleus. You are a nucleus.

Success Thought

We cannot live only for ourselves.
A thousand fibers connect us with our fellow men;
and among those fibers, as sympathetic threads,
our actions run as causes,
and they come back to us as effects.

Herman Melville

If the flap of a butterfly’s wings in South America can affect weather patterns in Texas, imagine the effect you have.

Your challenge, if you choose to accept it, is to determine what kind of impact you would like to have on the world… and then go flap your wonderful wings.


Ready to consciously make a difference?
Contact me for a complimentary
Do What You Love Break Free Session.

http://www.soulgoals.com/contact-me/#form

I work with people
who choose to share their gifts
or business in a BIGGER way
but don’t know how, feel stuck
or would benefit from new tools
or support.

I help them be richly compensated
doing what they love by discovering
their Soul’s goals.

Copyright © 2019 Soulgoals, All rights reserved.

Are You Wasting Your Time?

May 14, 2019

clock spiral

I invite you to enjoy my Soulgoal Missive, first published on April 29, 2004.

“Life is a controllable thing.”
Neville,
Awakened Imagination

“I have no control over my life,” protested a workshop participant angrily. The implication that we have or can have control of our lives seemed preposterous and brought fierce resistance.

“My life is governed by this,” she indignantly proclaimed while holding the Metro bus schedule. “I have to be on time for the bus if I want to go anywhere, but I can’t control if the bus is late, early, or will show up at all.” The bus schedule is how she relates to much of life as she relies on public transportation.

Another participant chimed in firmly and gently. “To get control of your life, of your heart, and what you really want to do, you have to let go of the bus schedule. You are greater than the bus schedule. This is a metaphor for your life; it is ruled by time and when and if you can catch a bus rather than by what you really want.”

When asked at the beginning of the workshop about her heart’s desire she replied: “I don’t care. Why bother? What I want doesn’t matter, because I’m not going to get it anyway.”

One of the interactive workshop games disappointed her. As we had a half an hour left, she felt pressured and therefore unable to do the exercise. She felt we were running out of time.

Her life revolved largely about time… and her lack of self-worth.

She was so caught up in her whirlwind of fear regarding time that she couldn’t see that this was the issue holding her back from achieving or gaining clarity on what she wanted.


  “The only reason for time is so that everything doesn’t happen at once.”
Albert Einstein  


Life is a mirror. Little did I realize in that moment, as I watched this dear woman grapple with the “reality” of time, that this was the underlying issue that had saddened me all day. As I looked past the smoke and mirrors of a decision I made earlier, I realized that my pain stemmed from an underlying fear of wasting my time.

I worried that I might lose time if I made a mistake, as I felt I had done in the past, so I wanted to cut my losses with anything that looked as if I might be making an error in judgment.

However, everything is in divine order. Even if I made different decisions in the past, I would not be any further along than I am at this moment. Why? Because I needed the lessons I learned along the way to do what I am doing now.

We are where we are meant to be, and when we realize this at a deeper level, a great peace and understanding are felt.

Time is another form of separation, and it holds us back from living life fully. When we start to separate things into segments and compare ourselves to others or a fabricated timeline, we separate from our hearts and living in the present moment. It’s a facet of fear.

The movie “Sliding Doors”, starring Gwyneth Paltrow, demonstrated the What If scenario by playing out two timelines simultaneously. What if a character made a different choice at a given moment in time? The journey took a different route but the destination remained the same.

Quantum mechanics reveals that time can vary! Einstein postulated that time and distance are not fixed! Speed can remain the same even though distance and time change.

Einstein called the slowing of time due to motion time dilation.

v=d/t
velocity (speed) equals distance traveled divided by time

The PBS website from the show Nova on “Time Travel” states “the closer we came to traveling at the speed of light, the more time would slow down for us relative to someone not moving.” 

When we consider that an inner light is at the essence of who we are, this statement becomes more intriguing.

Time is malleable.

I left a half an hour later than intended for a talk I gave. I needed the extra time to place hand outs on 50 chairs and organize other aspects of my presentation.

I knew if I used the mantra on the 45-minute drive, “I’m late; I’m late,” I would have been an emotional wreck by the time I arrived.

Instead, I told my chattering mind to repeat, “I have all the time I need.” When I got there, one of my clients who attended this group was available and very happy to assist me by doing all the busywork.

I had more than enough time.

Time isn’t fixed. Escape the miasma of your self-imposed concept of time in your life.

Your challenge, should you choose to accept it, is to re-evaluate one area of your life where you feel you do not have enough time. Look at it from a detached viewpoint of a wise friend and make a change to give yourself the gift of time.

With a zest for Life,
 
Virginia


Success Thought


Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute, and it seems like an hour. Sit with a pretty girl for an hour, and it seems like a minute. THAT’S relativity.
 
Albert Einstein


Ready to reclaim your time
so you can live the life you choose?

Contact me for a complimentary
Do What You Love Break Free Session.

Email me at:
virginia@soulgoals.com

I work with people
who choose to share their gifts
or business in a BIGGER way
but don’t know how, feel stuck
or would benefit from new tools
or support.

I help them be richly compensated
doing what they love by discovering
their Soul’s goals.

Copyright © 2019 Soulgoals, All rights reserved.

Trust Herself or Experts? Life or Death in the Delivery Room.

May 6, 2019

 

Delivery rooms can be highly charged environments containing the potential of life or death.

While going through a particularly hard labor during the birth of her second child, my friend was directed to push.

The attendants’ attitudes and firm voices basically told her, we know you’re tired, but stop being so lazy and push. By the fourth and fifth time of asking her to push, they raised their voices and got abusive and angrier.  Don’t be such a baby and a wimp. PUSH!

My friend refused, in spite of what the experts demanded her to do. At one point she told them, “I won’t push.”

Finally, the doctor checked the cord and learned it was coiled around her baby’s neck. He had to physically go in and cut it loose. The baby was born blue and not breathing. They gave him mouth-to-mouth resuscitation. He survived and was healthy.

The mother later asked the doctor that if she had pushed when everyone said, would she have strangled her baby. He replied, “Yes.”

The mom was the ultimate expert at the moment. She was aware of her body and inner guidance and followed it, although she didn’t know why. She knew she wouldn’t push regardless of what others told her. If she had, the ending of that story wouldn’t be happy.

Her first baby was born at home, by choice, and that delivery was smooth and easy.

Her second baby was different. At night, after hard labor started, she thought how easy it would be to have the baby at home. But because they planned a hospital birth, she went through the motions to fulfill that plan.

She said if she followed her guidance in the first place, what her mother’s intuition told her, she wouldn’t have gone through the agonizing labor, uterine exhaustion and subsequent complications for her baby.

The lesson?  Trust herself. She didn’t need to placate others and what they wanted, regardless of who they are, but instead take a stand for her baby and herself.

Is there an aspect of your life where you’ve been giving your power to others by following their advice instead of trusting yourself?

Ready to do what you love in a Bigger way,
but you don’t trust yourself?

Contact me for a complimentary
Do What You Love Break Free Session.

Email me at:
virginia@soulgoals.com

I work with people
who choose to share their gifts
or business in a BIGGER way
but don’t know how, feel stuck
or would benefit from new tools
or support.

I help them be richly compensated
doing what they love by discovering
their Soul’s goals.

Do You Need a Whack to Your Thinking?

April 29, 2019

May you enjoy my Soulgoal Missive that I wrote in July 2008, which includes my first date that happened years earlier. Reading it was a good reminder to me about the value of change and how we (translate: I) can resist it. Do you need a whack to your thinking?

 

After two years of flying solo following my marital separation, somebody asked me out on a date. I could pick any restaurant I wanted – so off we went to a salsa club to dine and take my second dance lesson.

As our discussion progressed during dinner, the topic of relationships arose. Remember, this was my first foray into the dating arena in many a year.

“No, I didn’t notice the tan line on your ring-free, left hand finger signifying you wear a wedding ring and you’re married,” I said to the “gentleman.”

Did I let this throw me? I made a choice to course correct. I was not willing to let this bozo mar the memory of my first date.

I remained undaunted and had a great night with excellent conversation. Turned out he was a lucid and prophetic dreamer with juicy peeks into the aeries of the dream world.

The next and final time we met, I gave him a book on spiritual dreaming and the number of a therapist.

I could handle change like this, but why did I buck at smaller things?

I picked up a message at 11 PM from my hairdresser, the night before my 10 AM appointment, which informed me she moved.

My monkey mind whined. Instead of her being 45 minutes away, she would be an hour away. Wrong. Travel time was only 35 minutes – and the new place was definitely nicer. Why did she move locations? She needed a change.

Then there was the lawn sprinkler last week. Not having an automated system necessitated moving the sprinkler several times. A friend bought and installed timers. I graciously accepted them but said to myself, “This is a waste; I have to be outdoors to move them around anyway.” Wrong. They are wonderful.

I changed the way I do things. Now I water automatically and forget about it. Later when I have the time, I water the rest.

If you want something you never have had, you have to be willing to do something you never have done.

We want our lives to be different, but we want things to remain the same.

We often evaluate our options logically and make a decision based on the best knowledge our minds have to offer. But our thinking is so limited compared to the world of possibilities.


“Discovery consists of looking at the same things as everyone else and thinking something different… Those ideas or situations that cause you to get off your routine paths and ‘think something different’ are whacks to your thinking.” 

Roger von Oech

A Whack on the Side of the Head – How You Can Be More Creative


We have to make changes to allow our heart’s desires to enter our lives. If we do not respond to the gentle nudges that always precede a change, the two by four whack eventually will bonk us.

Your challenge, should you choose to accept it, is to identify where you have been resisting change in your life and look at it from another viewpoint. Take a chance; make a change in your approach.

With a zest for Life,
Virginia

Success Thought

“Life moves on, whether we act as cowards or heros.
Life has no other discipline to impose, if we would but realize it, than to accept life unquestioningly.
Everything we shut our eyes to, everything we run away from, everything we deny, denigrate or despise, serves to defeat us in the end.
What seems nasty, painful, evil, can become a source of beauty, joy and strength, if faced with an open mind.

Every moment is a golden one for him who has the vision to recognize it as such.”

Henry Miller

 

Ready for a change but you don’t know how?
Contact me for a complimentary
Do What You Love Break Free Session.

Email me at:

virginia@soulgoals.com

I work with people
who choose to share their gifts
or business in a BIGGER way
but don’t know how, feel stuck
or would benefit from new tools
or support.

I help them be richly compensated
doing what they love by discovering
their Soul’s goals.

Copyright © 2019 Soulgoals, All rights reserved.

The Cheshire Cat on Your Direction

April 23, 2019

May the Cheshire Cat inspire you to find clear direction.

How can you pick a direction if you don’t know where you’re going? This is Alice’s dilemma in Alice in Wonderland.


“Would you tell me, please, which way I ought to go from here?”

“That depends a good deal on where you want to get to,” said the Cheshire Cat.

“I don’t much care where–” said Alice.

“Then it doesn’t matter which way you go,” said the Cat.

“–so long as I get SOMEWHERE,” Alice added as an explanation.

“Oh, you’re sure to do that,” said the Cat, “if you only walk long enough.”


Would you rather go anywhere or somewhere?

Anywhere might be the same or worse than where you are now. That is, unless you have an idea of where you want to go. Then you’d be somewhere not just anywhere. And that somewhere would be of your choosing.

Although some may tell you to go to a fiery destination, nobody knows where you ought to go but you.

So, the first step is clarity.

KEY:  Your inner GPS, the quiet voice within, knows and shows you your best place to shine.

Life is a dance. If you listen to the voice within, you’ll be directed to the best “dance class” to get your shine on. You don’t have to know the steps in advance as you’ll be taught along the way. Life works with intention and is a great dance teacher.

Your job is to name your dance.

A client who experienced personal devastation is continuing to find happiness while creating a new life.

How? By taking quiet time every morning to visualize. Imagine how you’d like your day to go. 

Results? Whatever was pictured in the morning happened during the day! The cumulative effect over time created a magnificent home, fulfilling work, more money than ever, a lifelong partner, exercise program, plus peace of mind.

Focus on where you want to get to.

Direct your attention, as the Cat said, to “where you want to get to” and stop mulling over your confusion or all the annoying things that you don’t want in your life.

Change the channel from your inner noise to your breathing – in and out. As your thoughts quiet and you’re feeling more neutral, ask for clarity about direction and the best steps for you to take.

Not clear yet? There’s your ego, that can be clueless, and your wise self (your Essence), that already has your answers.

Begin by asking for wisdom to take center stage.

Then, see yourself living your ideal day. Feel yourself living the life you’d love to live. Imagine that it’s not only possible. What’s coming next may seem delusional until you see that it works… act as if it’s already happening now.

Later, observe how your day and life mirror your intentions… and be amazed at how it matches what you thought about at the beginning of your day.

Don’t worry if you’re not perfect at it when you begin because you may be slipping in and out of negative thinking of what you don’t want. Practice.

Life can be a controllable thing. It starts with knowing your direction!

PS Know someone who might be inspired by this Wonderland story of Alice? Pass it on.

Want clarity?
Contact me for a complimentary
Do What You Love Break Free Session.

Email me at:virginia@soulgoals.com

I work with people
who choose to share their gifts
or business in a BIGGER way
but don’t know how, feel stuck
or would benefit from new tools
or support.

I help them be richly compensated
doing what they love by discovering
their Soul’s goals.

Copyright © 2019 Soulgoals, All rights reserved.

Your Good is on Its Way

April 18, 2019

 

Before I wrote my Soulgoals’ blog, I published a weekly article called Soulgoal Missives. Recently, I came across this folder of these posts and thought I’d share with you a missive I wrote in 2002 titled “Your Good is on Its Way.” May your good grow in whatever ways are meaningful to you!

Sometimes the good we desire in life seems to come to people around us first. If we can praise and give thanks for another’s blessings, rather than be envious and jealous and critical, then we can be assured that those same blessings (or even greater ones) will come to us.
Catherine Ponder,
Open Your Mind to Prosperity

 

I had wonderful, good news. Something very special happened. Metaphorically, for me it was as if I’d won the lottery jackpot.

When I shared it with a couple of friends, I knew they were happy for me. But at the same time, there was disappointment and a tinge of sadness that they hadn’t hit the “lottery,” too.

Continuing with my lottery metaphor, they were buying tickets regularly and wanted to win for a long time. I imagined winning but didn’t play much. However, someone offered me a winning ticket, and now I’m enjoying the benefits.

I thought that if they understood a nuance of life, then they’d be ecstatic for me.

Nothing comes to us, nothing enters our life, unless some part of us is in alignment with it.

When others have goodness come into their lives, and then they’re around me, that means my good is on its way… IF I ACCEPT IT. If I get bummed out because someone else was successful at something and I wasn’t, then I send my good away.

When something good happens to someone around me, even if it’s180 degrees opposite of where I am, even if I’m in the pit of despair about this very topic, someone’s success inspires me with a reason to rejoice as it’s a sign, a messenger, that my own good is on its way. 

With this perspective, jealousy, envy, sadness, disappointment and discouragement, because of another’s success, go flying out the window. These emotions send our good away.

Knowing how this works, chasing our good away suggests we’re either experiencing temporary insanity or invested in self-sabotage.

How does feeling good about someone else’s good affect us? Let’s look at it from a point of view that all life is energy, and that energy is affected by our emotional state.

Imagine someone is flat broke and doesn’t know where to get rent money. Being in the dumps makes it difficult to earn any money or come up with ideas to make some.

Then information comes that a large, unexpected check is in the mail. Instant relief – the pressure is off. Happiness. Gratitude. Enthusiasm. Feelings shift to being upbeat and creative – ideas flow and new thoughts are magnetized toward this dynamic state. Élan vital, a vital force or impulse of life, is tapped. Nothing is the same after that.

The world of imagination is made real.

When we tap the élan vital, we shift our ability to receive the abundance that life offers. Life is waiting to bring us blessings; to receive them we must be in a state of willingness, allowing this grace to enter.

After our conversation about my “winning the lottery,” one of my friends opened up to the possibility of winning, too. The next day she e-mailed me about two lottery tickets someone gave her. She didn’t hit the jackpot, but she is grateful for winning tickets.

Your good is close; be willing to let it in. This is grace; invite and allow it to work through you and touch your life. The more you allow this heightened state of accepting life’s bounty as part of who you are, the more magical and extraordinary your life becomes.

Your challenge, if you choose to accept it, is to celebrate other people’s successes.

If someone shares a success with you, find a place inside of yourself that’s genuinely thrilled and happy for him or her – as if it happened to you. Don’t judge that it’s not good enough or too good! Practice gratitude that someone with this experience is either around you or that you learned about it. Then assume your good is near and will appear in its own way, when the time is just right.

Truly, your good is not just on its way, it’s here now. Open your eyes to see it.

 

Ready for more good in your life?
Contact me for a complimentary
Do What You Love Break Free Session.

Email me at:
virginia@soulgoals.com

I work with people
who choose to share their gifts
or business in a BIGGER way
but don’t know how, feel stuck
or would benefit from new tools
or support.

I help them be richly compensated
doing what they love by discovering
their Soul’s goals.

I Deleted 200 Phone Contacts

April 8, 2019

My contact list cleansing started innocently when my journaling meandered to an experience that happened a few months ago. On multiple occasions, I had conversations and hugs with a woman who works at a local store. We enjoyed some similar interests.

Longer story short, I invited her to my home; she was going to give me ideas about colors to paint my rooms. I thought it would be a nice opportunity to know her better, too.

She was to arrive at 2 PM. An hour earlier, I started to prepare food dishes that I planned for her visit.

At 2:01, she texted me: “Hey Virginia. This date won’t work.”

Mmmm, like she just realized this one minute after she was supposed to arrive? No other comment?

I texted a cordial reply.

Next I invited my 79-year old neighbor to join me as I lured her with a change of beverage from tea to wine. We savored my array of appetizers and our conversation.

While journaling, it occurred to me that the name of the woman who was a no-show started with an “A,” was at the beginning of my phone Contacts, and I saw it practically every time I opened my list.

As I don’t plan on needing this woman’s number anymore — she’s changing jobs, I’m unlikely to see her again, there’s no reason for her to call me and the thought of her was attached to this experience — why was I keeping her phone number?

Delete contact.

Ms. “A” was the beginning of 200 more contacts who met their expunged destinies. After a while, I realized I was following a method similar to cleaning closets. If I haven’t talked with them for a long while and we no longer share mutual interests… DELETE CONTACT! If I really need their numbers, I could find a way to get them.

  • I no longer have anything in common with this person. Delete.
  • Most people in this organization and I are on different wavelengths. Delete. Delete. Delete.
  • These people are unkind, in general and to me. Others have already blocked them. Delete. Delete.
  • For years, I’ve neither talked with nor do I have any interest in communicating with these people, who I’ve known since before the invention of the telephone. Delete. Delete.
  • Do I really think they’re going to realize they were the jerks and owe me an apology? Wake up! Delete. Delete.
  • These people are dead! Find another way to remember them. Delete. Delete.

And so the process began with a keen consideration about why I kept them on my list.


As clarity came once I got into the swing of why and how to let go, it became easier to release.

Letting go was liberating. I felt empowered. 

I discovered that a part of me had been holding myself back.

Until I finished letting go of them on my list, I didn’t realize that I also deleted unconscious thoughts and feelings that I should be the person that some of them wanted me to be. I let go of ugly interactions.

Especially if I hadn’t talked with them for years and didn’t believe there’d be future contact, what was I holding onto

In part, I’d been holding onto memories or a vision of rewriting who we are together, that our lives hadn’t drifted in different directions.

For others, it meant that for me to have a mutually satisfying relationship with them, I’d have to be who I used to be or someone else to fit in.

That’s no longer an option, and this exercise let go of old energy to make room for me to be ME in a bigger way.


Before computerization, I pulled out cards with contact info of people I knew when I lived on the other side of the country. I didn’t want to let them go, but we hadn’t talked because we were no longer involved with mutual activities. I secured the cards with a rubber band and filed them with other papers.

When I found the pile of cards later, I couldn’t even remember who they were.

We grow. We move on.

No longer seeing certain names so frequently helps to refocus on the now and the future instead of the past.

I often feel profound gratitude to be with friends and clients who have traveled life’s roads with me, or our paths have periodically intersected, sometimes for decades. I’ve also discovered that the caliber of these individuals is often worlds apart from those who I attracted 10, 20 or more years ago. With my current peeps, I can more fully be myself. They understand my heart and what I teach. As a result their lives, and mine because of them, have gotten better and better.

Removing those 200 contacts created space, and the universe doesn’t like a vacuum. This means I’m attracting those who are in greater energetic alignment with who I am now.

What are you willing to let go of so you can move on to bigger and better things?

P.S. Know someone who might enjoy this post? Please share.

Looking to let go of who or what
doesn’t serve you and open
to greater success?
Contact me for a complimentary
Do What You Love Break Free Session.

Email me at:
virginia@soulgoals.com

I work with people
who choose to share their gifts
or business in a BIGGER way
but don’t know how, feel stuck
or would benefit from new tools
or support.

I help them be richly compensated
doing what they love by discovering
their Soul’s goals.

 

Copyright © 2019 Soulgoals, All rights reserved.

Go with the Flow or Let the Flow Go?

April 1, 2019

This week, I received a card from a client and friend that said, “Go with the flow” with a lovely handwritten sentiment inside. While wondering what to write this week, I thought I’d enjoy sharing this concept.

However, when I went online to find related ideas, I was intrigued to find quotes like this:

“If you decide to just go with the flow, you’ll end up where the flow goes, which is usually downhill, often leading to a big pile of sludge and a life of unhappiness. You’ll end up doing what everyone else is doing.”
― Sean Covey, The 7 Habits of Highly Effective Teens

Ah, he’s writing to teenagers, so that makes sense. Sometimes they’re just going along with their peers, which might lead to the lowest common denominator. Going with that flow may not be the best choice.

Here’s another:

“Is it better to go with the flow or let the flow go?” Aidan Chambers

What if the flow is you thinking about things that aren’t working for you in your life or business? This flow will keep you regurgitating self-defeating beliefs.

Herein lies a core question. With which flow are you going?

I expand on this idea in Lesson 2 of my Soulgoals program:

First, what’s the mastermind energy? There are seven Soulgoals’ Mastermind Principles. Here are three of them.

Mastermind Principle #1. I believe there’s an energy created when two or more gather in harmony…

Mastermind Principle #2. I trust that the mastermind energy can and does manifest goals I choose or something better… 

Mastermind Principle #5. I choose to be in divine flow, surrender control to the mastermind, and focus on the present moment.
 
Choose to be in divine flow
 
Life consists of flows of energy. Which flows do you follow?
 
If you tell a policeman you were speeding because you went with the flow of traffic, you’d get a ticket.
 
Do you go with the flow of conversation with people who gossip or talk a lot about their problems?
 
When you choose to be in divine flow, you allow the universal energy and your spirit to take you beyond the daily chaos and ego’s desires.
 
Divine flow elevates you to a zone beyond fear and resistance, to be at peace with what is. You relax and release fixed ideas of how you think your life should go by knowing there’s a bigger plan in play.

Go with the Flow or Let the Flow Go?

It depends on which flow it is!

 

P.S. Know someone who might enjoy this post? Please share.

Looking to get into your own flow
of brilliance, creativity and success…
whatever success means to you?

Contact me for a complimentary
Do What You Love Break Free Session.

Email me at:
virginia@soulgoals.com

I work with people
who choose to share their gifts
or business in a BIGGER way
but don’t know how, feel stuck
or would benefit from new tools
or support.

I help them be richly compensated
doing what they love by discovering
their Soul’s goals.

Copyright © 2019 Soulgoals, All rights reserved.