Exhausted? Losing Your Power?

Soulgoal Missive, Year 2, No.1, originally puclished in 2002

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I cannot emphasize this point strongly enough: the targets to which acquisitioners connect their energy circuits are people or objects to which they have surrendered their power – specifically, the power to control them.

CAROLYN MYSS, Anatomy of the Spirit

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I still felt exhausted and light-headed three months, $1000, and seven practitioners later. Adrenal burnout created chronic fatigue, and I couldn’t get a handle on it.  The healing work brought an underlying physical strength but not enough to impact my daily life. The only business I could manage was what was absolutely necessary.

One weekend my energy and head cleared. I was enthusiastic until I met with a client on Monday, and my thinking relapsed into a heavy fog. I had enough and drew the line as I realized this wasn’t about my health. 

I decided it was time to get to the underlying cause.

A friend suggested I was in a transformational process that could create a breakthrough. She told me about a book Anatomy of the Spirit by Carolyn Myss, which is about health and energy.  I had so little of either it seemed a logical place to look, even though I didn’t see how it would help.

If we don’t recognize that our source of energy comes from within, we look outside ourselves to find it. That could be a person (as found in co-dependent relationships or even someone we respect), a business or organization (when we think our source of money or salvation can only come from an outside source), a substance (such as alcohol, drugs, coffee, or cigarettes), or belief systems (ideas we believe to be true).

Instead of trusting a divine source or ourselves, we believe something outside of us is stronger. By doing so, we give away our power and allow it to control us.

I sat at the computer and wrote what I felt: “Where am I plugging in my energy circuits?Emotionally to something outside myself. Not a person or an idea, but a belief.” 

The answer popped out. To be more visible in my business and speak my truth, people might not like what I have to say. Society would then ostracize me, and I was afraid to have that happen.

In that moment of discovery, the left side of my head instantly cleared!

Recognizing this was the right track, I knew if I opened the book to any page it would give me the insight that I needed to clear the other side of my head.

The light bulb moment began with the thought, “On the right side, I’m short-circuited with fear.”

I realized that in the back of my mind I thought I would never accomplish a deeply cherished goal. This belief froze me into inaction through fear and disappointment. 

“I’m not acknowledging all is in divine order. My will is motivated by fear and a lack of control.  I need to connect my head and heart and allow Thy will not my will be done.”

Poof! Like magic, the right side of my head cleared. Reignited by this new awareness, my energy and clear-headedness returned and didn’t leave.

How could these beliefs affect my body and mind with such devastating results?

If you saw a friend about to cut her wrists or jump off a bridge, wouldn’t you do whatever you could to sabotage her efforts?

Unbeknownst to me, I held a fearful belief of being disapproved of – I was unconsciously imagining the worst about what would happen if people didn’t like what I had to say.

That belief affected me emotionally by doing all it could to prevent me from what it perceived a certain death, death to my ego and the pain it created. That belief, created as a child, did what it thought was protecting me and keeping me safe.

It didn’t matter if the belief was true; unconsciously I believed it and acted as if it was real.

If I felt too exhausted to work, I’d be safe because I wouldn’t be able to share my viewpoints. I wouldn’t be visible for people to disapprove of me and experience some harmful fate.

I know this can sound convoluted and weird, but many of our limiting beliefs were created when we were kids using limited logic. Read on to see what I mean.

Exhaustion comes from emotions.

We may feel tired or extremely fatigued from hard work or putting in long hours, but exhaustion comes from emotions. Exhaustion stems from suppressing worries, anger, fear, and concerns, often telling ourselves we’ll deal with them later. But we don’t. By stuffing and not looking at them, we emotionally sabotage ourselves.

Dragging ourselves home from work may result from not dealing with the stress of associating with certain people or situations. Exhaustion at home may occur by not wanting to admit something needs to change.

We can exhaust ourselves from not wanting to look at the reasons we feel pain or fear.

A woman once told me about her unfulfilling relationship with her father.  As a little girl she regularly hit her head against the wall rather than face that emotional pain.

Now in her twenties, she no longer hits her head. Instead she gets migraines. Althoughpainful, migraines were easier for her to deal with than looking at the pain she felt from being emotionally abandoned by her father.

People sometimes drive themselves through grueling physical activity, constant busyness, or hellish, military training rather than look at the pain and frustration they feel about their parents or past, negative experiences. It’s often easier to focus on the body and its needs while flying under one’s emotional radar.

We can identify with pain, illness, or exhaustion, even turning it into a badge of courage. This seems easier than facing what lies beneath the surface, as the survival of the pain depends on remaining unconscious.

Our shadow self is afraid to allow the light of awareness to be shined on it. The dark side wants to remain hidden so it won’t be found out, fearing a fate worse than death.

As long as we continue to unconsciously identify with the pain rather than look at it and let it go, it continues to hold power over us. This is what causes us to relive variations of emotionally charged situations repeatedly.

The situations change but the underlying feelings of fear, pain or fill-in-the-blank emotion are close to the same way we felt during the original affront.

Our spirit desires a release of unsupportive energy. That’s why it continues to draw to us similar situations (even if they suck) so we can wake up and be free.

The reason we are afraid of it so much is that we created this fearful part as a child. These emotions feel natural and familiar tinged with a childlike dread that we’ve learned to suppress and live with over the years.

Imagine a helpless youngster dealing with a challenging, life situation. Obviously, coping and life skills are limited. Fear takes over. If we haven’t resolved these childhood impressions, they can continue to haunt us until we gain perspective and release their energy.

If we avoid releasing that unsupportive energy, we look for our power elsewhere while feeling inadequate to manage on our own. We settle for jobs, relationships, and unsatisfying lives. This is exhausting.

Do you feel exhausted? Covid getting you down? Had enough? Where are you losing your power? Who or what did you give your power to?

A first step to freedom is self-awareness, and sometimes asking for help to perceive the blind spots and see. 

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Ready to identify and let go of limiting beliefs
and feelings that hold you back?
Contact me for a free consultation at:
virginia@soulgoals.com

I work with people who choose to share
their gifts or business in a BIGGER way
but don’t know how, feel stuck or could 
use new tools or support.

I help them ignite their Soul’s goals
and be richly compensated doing what
they love.

Copyright © 2021 Soulgoals, All rights reserved.

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TIP: Don’t Labor

“If you are having financial difficulties, if you are trying to make ends meet, it means you have not convinced your subconscious mind that you will always have plenty and some to spare. You know men and women who work a few hours a week and make fabulous sums of money. They do not strive or slave hard. Do not believe the story that the only way you can become wealthy is by the sweat of your brow and hard labor. It is not so; the effortless way of life is the best. Do the thing you love to do, and do it for the joy and thrill of it.”

Dr. Joseph Murphy, The Power of Your Subconscious Mind, chapter 9

This is a reprint from Labor Day, 2016.

Look up synonyms for labor, and you’ll find words like hard work, drudgery, struggle, toil and exhausting.

Society has trained us to believe that work, work, work, the harder we work, is the way to get ahead.

The idea that work alone will bring you results is a flawed premise.

A man was looking for a job.

He sent out 50 resumes.

However, he told me he didn’t expect to get any replies.

Massive action – yes.

Results – zilch.

Hard work and action aren’t the keys.

Inspired action is.

Soulgoals’ Mastermind Principle #4 is:

I am open to the mastermind energy leading me, and I take action by following through with my inspiration and guidance.

For success, align your energy for results FIRST, and then take action.

Instead of putting your nose to the grindstone (ouch), FEEL GOOD before taking action.

Your TIP for success is FIRST to have fun. Create momentum while feeling good, then take action.

It may take practice to build your Feeling Good muscle. People have told me they think they’re doing something wrong if they’re not struggling, worrying and working hard, because these are such familiar habits.

This principle of not efforting works the opposite of weight lifting.

You build this muscle by letting go of the weight of the world – your problems, politics and pains.

What’s left is your natural state – happy, free, having fun, being fulfilled.

The more you’re aligned with You then, like a magnet, the more opportunities come your way.

The results are being in divine flow and on a magic carpet ride of success.

Experiment. Instead of laboring, enjoy life and what you do. Following, observe what inspiration comes to you and take action on this… not on what you think you should do.

Not only will you receive far greater results, you’ll create an even better life that’s worth living.


If you’d like to
create the life or
business you choose
while enjoying yourself
(and not making things hard),
contact me
for a complimentary
Do What You Love Break-Free Session.

Email me at:
virginia@soulgoals.com

I work with people
who choose to share their gifts
or business in a BIGGER way
but don’t know how, feel stuck
or would benefit from new tools
or support.

I help them be richly compensated
doing what they love.

Copyright © 2019 Soulgoals, All rights reserved.

8 Interesting Quotes for Labor Day

A definition of labor in Dictionary.com is “productive activity, especially for the sake of economic gain.”

As Americans celebrate Labor Day, here are quotes that offer a perspective about labor aside from hard work.

With gratitude,

Virginia

“The only way to do great work is to love what you do. If you haven’t found it yet, keep looking. Don’t settle.”  Steve Jobs

Steve Jobs was an American entrepreneur and business magnate who was a pioneer of the microcomputer revolution of the 1970s and 1980s, along with Apple co-founder Steve Wozniak.

“A mind always employed is always happy. This is the true secret, the grand recipe, for felicity.”  Thomas Jefferson

Thomas Jefferson was an American Founding Father who was the principal author of the Declaration of Independence and later served as the third president of the United States.

“Inspiration usually comes during work, rather than before it.” Madeleine L’Engle

Madeleine L’Engle was an American writer of young adult fiction, including A Wrinkle in Time and its sequels.

“A hundred times every day I remind myself that my inner and outer life depend on the labors of other men, living and dead, and that I must exert myself in order to give in the same measure as I have received and am still receiving.” Albert Einstein

Albert Einstein was the most influential physicist of the 20th century who developed the theory of relativity.

“My grandfather once told me that there were two kinds of people: those who do the work and those who take the credit. He told me to try to be in the first group; there was much less competition.” Indira Gandhi

Indira Gandhi was the only female Prime Minister of India, daughter of Jawaharlal Nehru, the first prime minister of India.

“A man is not paid for having a head and hands, but for using them.”  Elbert Hubbard  

Elbert Hubbard was an American writer, publisher, artist, and philosopher .
 

“The supreme accomplishment is to blur the line between work and play.”  Arnold J. Toynbee

Arnold J. Toynbee was a British economic historian also noted for his social commitment and desire to improve the living conditions of the working classes.
 

“Choose a job you love and you will never have to work a day in your life.”  Confucius

Confucius was a Chinese teacher, editor, politician. The philosophy of Confucius, also known as Confucianism, emphasized personal and governmental morality, correctness of social relationships, justice and sincerity.

I work with people who choose to share their gifts or
business in a BIGGER way but don’t know how, feel stuck or
could use new tools or support.

I help them be richly compensated doing what
they love by discovering their Soul’s goals.
Copyright © 2018 Virginia Goszewska. All rights reserved.

How a Woman Was Asked to Take $15-$20,000

Plus 10 quotes from James Allen’s As a Man Thinketh

A client decided to launch a non-profit in her industry. Her first event had around 50 people in attendance.

Ten years later, she has several chapters around the state along with a base of corporate connections.

Last month during her coaching session, we discussed the idea of getting underwriters at $13,000 each annually and how she could put together a brochure to announce this. A professional she considered hiring for this purpose suggested writing a personal letter to each prospective underwriter instead.

She did neither.

However, she mentioned her idea to a corporate leader and then, implementing tools she’s learned during my new Conscious Creators’ Course, she found herself thinking about her underwriters’ program throughout the month.

Do you remember a time when you were lovestruck and thoughts and feelings about the other would linger in the background or completely occupy your attention? That’s how it was for her. Her thoughts would go in and out about the program she was developing, sharing it with others, the difference it would make… and so it went throughout the month.

The day before last Thursday’s coaching session, she and the corporate leader talked again. In fact, they’d been playing phone tag for two weeks before their follow up conversation about becoming an underwriter.

“We want to give you $15,000 to $20,000. Please give us a reason, a justification. You don’t have to send an email, just a text.”

A short text to him after our session containing seed ideas for the program brought an affirmative response along with an appointment scheduled on Monday for follow up.

She approached this on an energy level first before taking action. The result was that money was being thrust on her with no effort on her part. 

May you enjoy these quotes from James Allen’s classic book As a Man Thinketh to inspire you to attract results about what you love.

“As a man thinketh in his heart, so shall he be.”

“As he thinks, so he is; as he continues to think, so he remains.” 

“A person is limited only by the thoughts that he chooses.”

“Let a man radically alter his thoughts, and he will be astonished at the rapid transformation it will effect in the material conditions of his life.”

“Men do not attract that which they want, but that which they are.”

“All that a man achieves and all that he fails to achieve is the direct result of his own thoughts.”

“Thoughts of doubt and fear never accomplished anything, and never can. They always lead to failure.”

“Suffering is always the effect of wrong thought in some direction. It is an indication that the individual is out of harmony with himself, with the Law of his being.”

Following are great quotes especially for those who’ve ever been chastised for day dreaming by others who didn’t realize how all great ideas and manifestations start with a dreamer. Everyone else follows in the shadow of someone’s dream or gets paid by people who had a vision and used their imagination to turn their dreams to reality.

“The greatest achievement was at first and for a time a dream. The oak sleeps in the acorn; the bird waits in the egg; and in the highest vision of the soul a waking angel stirs. Dreams are the seedlings of realities.”

“The dreamers are the saviors of the world. As the visible world is sustained by the invisible, so men, through all their trials and sins and sordid vocations, are nourished by the beautiful visions of their solitary dreamers. Humanity cannot forget its dreamers; it cannot let their ideals fade and die; it lives in them; it knows them as the realities which it shall one day see and know. Composer, sculptor, painter, poet, prophet, sage, these are the makers of the after-world, the architects of heaven. The world is beautiful because they have lived; without them, laboring humanity would perish. He who cherishes a beautiful vision, a lofty ideal in his heart, will one day realize it. Columbus cherished a vision of another world, and he discovered it; Copernicus fostered the vision of a multiplicity of worlds and a wider universe, and he revealed it; Buddha beheld the vision of a spiritual world of stainless beauty and perfect peace, and he entered into it.”

 

I work with people who choose to share their gifts or
business in a BIGGER way but don’t know how, feel stuck or
could use new tools or support.

I help them be richly compensated doing what
they love by discovering their Soul’s goals.

Copyright © 2018 Virginia Goszewska. All rights reserved.

Is That Really What You Think About Yourself?

 

Your thoughts about yourself create your future.

So what have you been telling yourself about you recently?

Stupid, smart, not good enough, grateful?

Is that really what you think about yourself?

If you want more money, which thinking do you believe works best?

• I really need it, but I don’t think I’ll ever get paid what I’m worth.
• (In spite of my circumstances) I feel that more money is coming to me.

If you want more of something, feel as if you already have it. You won’t get what you want (or you could be miserable or not hold onto it) if you’re waiting for it to appear before you believe it.

A client, whose goal includes increasing her sales and income, wasn’t talking like someone who already had the wealth she desired. She was working hard and fast, and her curt attitude had an adverse affect on her support team who, in turn, did small actions to annoy her.

During a Soulgoals Session, she realized that if she took a few more minutes to have smoothe interactions with them, instead of communicating by terse emails, she would receive more help and have less stress and irritation. Their attitude about her was disruptive and consumed unnecessary amounts of her time and energy.

She had been seeing herself as someone pushing to get to the top instead of being there.

You have to be an energetic match for what you want.

If you want better health, act as if you have it. You’ll send a message of health to your cells.

A woman, who had a stroke, has been making tremendous progress. She definitely has the potential of continuing to overcome its effects, too. She’s learned much about herself during her year of recovery and has her sights set on wellness.

She emailed me about a vacation tour she planned to take with disabled people, but she decided not to go because she’s choosing to attend another event instead.

I replied: Not going “may be a good thing so you don’t identify with being disabled and surrounding yourself with others who believe that about themselves. How you see yourself is a key to the direction you’ll find yourself in the future. See yourself able-bodied.”

Your thoughts about yourself are just mental concepts. Your thoughts and ideas are only pictures in your mind, and often times they were downloaded into your brain by others.

The tendency is to accept all of your perceptions as real because they’re in your head. However, they’re limiting because more possibilities exist than you can imagine.

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Wallace D. Wattles says it this way in his book The Science of Getting Rich:
 

“To look upon the appearance of disease will produce the form of disease in your own mind, and ultimately in your body, unless you hold the thought of the truth, which is that there is no disease; it is only an appearance, and the reality is health.

 “To look upon the appearances of poverty will produce corresponding forms in your own mind, unless you hold to the truth that there is no poverty; there is only abundance

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What do you think about yourself? 

Do you say you want more money but think about yourself as poor, in lack or needy?

Do you say you want greater health but see your body as sick?

How you identify who you believe you are now is writing your script for who you’ll be in the future.

If you focus on your outer circumstances, you’ll repeat them in the future. Focus on what you choose instead.

You embody unlimited potential for whatever you choose or something better. You can think about yourself in this way.

Don’t be fooled by appearances, and certainly don’t beat yourself up because you feel you’re not good enough. Your current circumstances exist because of old ways that you thought about yourself.

You always have a choice about how you feel and think, even if things seem out of your control.

Imagine what life would be like if you see yourself as the hero of your dreams coming true!

With gratitude,

Virginia

P. S. Know someone who might be interested in this TIP?  Please share.

I work with people, at any age,
who choose to share their gifts
or business in a BIGGER way
but don’t know how, feel stuck
or would benefit from new tools
or support.

I help them be richly compensated
doing what they love by aligning
with their Soul’s goals.

Copyright © 2018 Resolved for Results, All rights reserved.

You Don’t Have to Push Yourself Harder

What I’m about to tell you is opposite to what most of us learned is the way to achieve success. Forget about: No pain, no gain. You have to work hard for what you want. Put your nose to the grindstone. Success requires sacrifice, suffering and struggle. Beliefs like these often don’t create sustainable results nor do they lead to a happy life. Furthermore, trying hard is exhausting. When we align our positive energy first and then take inspired action with grace and ease, we can create better outcomes while feeling good, too.  A client, whose career is in the fitness industry, shared how his life is working better. “I let go of pushing harder. I had the kind of personality to be hard on myself, more disciplined. It left me feeling out of control, especially about things I can’t do anything about. “I had mind-numbing, self-critiquing all the time. I was looking for approval.  “Now I see how when I’m softer and centered, I’m in control. It’s easier to be in my own skin. People are more at ease around me because I’m more at ease with myself. “I make choices moment-to-moment instead of worrying about the future and what others think. “I catch myself a lot quicker instead of having long periods of anxiety. I chart my course by mentally creating my ideal scenario and letting go of the pushing. “Week by week, this new way of living life is sinking in as I allow myself to go from efforting to grace and ease.  “I’ve reclaimed my natural power and feel myself evolving to my true potential as I achieve my goals.” There was more joy, confidence and lightness in his voice as well. You can tap into a zone where you won’t need to push yourself. By getting out of your own way, you can get more done with better results and even go beyond limits. It starts by shifting from trying to relaxing into a flow of doing what you love. Olympic athletes center and focus themselves before taking action. The winners go beyond worry and ride the wave of their event – even when changing winds seem to be against them. They’re at the right place at the right time to avoid the hazards. You can, too. P.S. Know someone who might enjoy this post? Please share. I work with people, at any age, who choose to share their gifts or business in a BIGGER way but don’t know how, feel stuck or would benefit from new tools or support. I help them be richly compensated doing what they love by aligning with their Soul’s goals.

Copyright © 2018 Resolved for Results, All rights reserved.

Guilt, Know-It-Alls & Being #1

Are you in a self-imposed prison with freedom in view?

 

Feeling guilty had been drilled into her by her family throughout her life.

When my client was at the top, business associates and family triggered these guilty feelings by their passive-aggressive behaviors. She felt like she was doing something wrong.

Not feeling good about the price she paid for her success, her sales slipped.

People in her family had jobs. Furthermore, what’s a woman doing being successful, especially in her own business?! They had to work hard in their employment; why should she be any different?

She didn’t realize it was their own jealousy, insecurity, a need to control and their disappointment in themselves for not going after their dreams that were the underlying culprits of others’ manipulative behaviors.

Ever hear of the lobster syndrome or the crab mentality?

When either of these is alone in a lidless container, it can escape.

However, when sharing their enclosure, none can get out because they will be pulled back down, even into boiling water.

In society or business, this can happen when people are bettering themselves, and others try to bring them down.

How can they do that? Through guilt, fear, making others feel they’re doing something wrong, shunning, shaming and the threat of being ostracized if they don’t fit in with the community.

Some religions exert control by indoctrinating their followers with the fear of damnation or how their future lives will be affected.

Previously, my client couldn’t stay away from her cell phone out of fear of missing calls from prospective customers. Working hard is acceptable as a road to success.

So when she fulfilled her goal of a five-week vacation, and still remained #1, it was at the expense of others’ disparaging remarks.

Even though at the top of her game and years away from what most consider retirement age, she couldn’t stop thinking about leaving the business world behind.

She told me about a close friend and business associate. “There’s something about him lately that rubs me the wrong way – so I’ve distanced myself — although we’re working on a deal together. With him, it’s a debate or he knows some expertise about things. He’s done and knows everything.”

She was exhausted by critical people: if it’s not done their way, then in their way of looking at things, it’s being done wrong.

“Because I am surrounded by that thinking and attitude, my cup runneth over with this. My response is to disassociate with people who have these behaviors.”

When I asked where she’s seen those patterns before, she recalled that her mother and sister had the same habit of being critical know-it-alls. Both parents ruled by creating guilt in others.

We discussed that no matter where you go, there you are. If she continued to react, she’d attract more people who would act the same, wherever she went.

She realized that unless she changed, even if she left her business, she’d continue to run into similar, annoying behaviors from others.

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Programmed from childhood, traits like lack of confidence, guilt and worry can prompt you to continue brainwashing yourself with limiting beliefs, even when those who put these ideas in your head aren’t around. 

Don’t listen to your inner, critical voice that bullies you and makes you question your ability to succeed or be happy. It lies.

That nagging voice reflects how the people who told you that nonsense feel about themselves. It’s not about you.

Your true essence guides you with a kind, non-judgmental and supportive voice.

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Her insight: this session made her step back and look at the bigger picture.

She realized that she won’t be affected by others when she has a different perspective. And when her buttons are no longer pushed, she won’t attract people who think like that.

By the way, she’s back to being #1 and having her best year ever. Life is more fun, and she feels free now that she no longer reacts to guilt trips and know-it-alls in the way she did before.

You can step out of your self-imposed prison of any limiting beliefs, even if you don’t know what’s holding you back.

Start by having confidence that believing in yourself brings.

Remember, those voices to the contrary are figments of someone else’s imagination that they projected on you.

Freedom and success are yours if you’re open to receive them.

P.S. Know someone who might enjoy this post? Please share.

 
I work with people, at any age,
who choose to share their gifts
or business in a BIGGER way
but don’t know how, feel stuck
or would benefit from new tools
or support.

I help them be richly compensated
doing what they love by aligning
with their Soul’s goals.

Copyright © 2017 Resolved for Results, All rights reserved.