Archive for the ‘Compassion’ Category

Exhausted? In Pain? Migraines?

December 12, 2022

We may feel tired or extremely fatigued from hard work or putting in long hours, but exhaustion comes from emotions. Exhaustion stems from suppressing worries, anger, fear, and concerns, often telling ourselves we’ll deal with them later. But we don’t. By stuffing and not looking at them, we emotionally sabotage ourselves.

Dragging ourselves home from work may result from not dealing with the stress of situations or associating with certain people. Exhaustion at home may occur by not wanting to admit what our feelings are trying to tell us and that something needs to change.

We can exhaust ourselves from not wanting to look at the reasons we feel pain or fear.


I was present at the moment a woman made a connection about her unfulfilling relationship with her father.  As a little girl, she regularly hit her head against the wall rather than face that emotional pain.

As an adult in her twenties, she no longer hit her head. Instead she had migraines. Although painful, migraines were easier for her to deal with than looking at the pain she felt from being emotionally abandoned by her father.

Note: Please continue to the end to read another perspective on migraines and exhaustion in the BONUS below.


People sometimes drive themselves through grueling physical activity, long work hours or constant busyness rather than looking at the pain and frustration they feel about negative experiences or things their parents did or didn’t do, revealing their personal bogeyman or why they tolerate intolerable situations and people now. 

If you’re exhausted or in pain and torment yourself about how you feel because of it, you have a good excuse reason not to think, change your perspective and discover that there are better options available to you.

Here are examples of underlying fears that may drive you.

  • If I leave my job/ spouse, I won’t have enough money.
  • If I leave my church/ social circle, I’ll be all alone.
  • If I stop being so busy, I’ll have to slow down and look at what kind of a life I have – the people, circumstances, drama, unfulfilling work, my fears, my lack, my body, my very happiness and so on.

Another emotional payoff might include the sympathy and attention others give you. Pain, illness or exhaustion can become a badge of courage… “You’re exhausted from what you’re going through, you poor thing.”

Pain’s survival depends on part of us remaining unconscious. This is how it continues to hold power over us. This is what causes us to relive variations of emotionally charged situations repeatedly.

Because our spirit desires a release of unsupportive energy, we continue to attract similar situations (even if they suck). They serve as opportunities for us to wake up and be free.

If we avoid releasing unsupportive energy, we look to gain power elsewhere. We settle for jobs, relationships and unsatisfying lives. This is exhausting.

Had enough? Where are you losing your power? Who or what did you give your power to?

A first step to freedom is self-awareness, and sometimes it helps to ask for help to see our blind spots as well as learn new ways to release energy that doesn’t serve us.

Edited excerpt from August 30, 2021, Soulgoals’ post.


BONUS! 

MIGRAINES, EXHAUSTION and MORE

Alert: This may go against everything you believe to be helpful and good.

When we emotionally feel sorry for or bad about others going through challenges or try to save them from their suffering, we energetically tie into their pain. We plug our energy circuitry into their emotions and how they feel, aligning ourselves with their vibrational wavelength.

Any suffering we alleviate by doing this doesn’t help them to learn their lessons and actually holds them back.

Empaths (people who feel others’ feelings as if they are their own) can unconsciously take on others’ pain, illness, lack, confusion, stress, depression and fatigue. That kind of sensitivity can be exhausting.

Ever feel good and then drained after talking with certain people?

Here’s another consideration. Do you think someone is a headache or a pain in your neck or another part of your lower anatomy? Well, that literally can be what happens to you.

Are you struggling, stuck, have issues? Know someone around you that often feels the same? They may, for example, struggle in one way, you in another. It’s still struggling. Maybe you unintentionally took on what they’re going through.

A woman volunteered as a leader to help the homeless. While we talked she had a realization. Since riding in a car with others from her church and their negative chatter for a couple of hours to visit this community, she hadn’t closed one deal in six months! She decided to drive her own car and started closing deals.

Another example, people who don’t drink might be dealing with an alcoholic family member. However, both may be dealing with fear but coping in different ways. One drinks and the other lives in fears like expecting the worse to happen.

Look for similar feelings not identical circumstances. 

Warning! If you try to share ideas before others are ready to understand, they can turn on you and make you the bad guy. People often filter information based on their past experiences and resist believing that another perspective is valid.

So how can you help? Be compassionate. Acknowledge them and where they’re at non-judgmentally. Communicate how you believe in them and their ability to get through their circumstances. But no pity, feeling sorry for them or meeting them at their emotional level of drama.

Again, you’re not uplifting others while feeling troubled about them. And you may be opening yourself to take on what they’re going through.

It works in reverse, too. Being around positive people aligns you vibrationally to live your personal and professional dreams.



Would you like to learn how to release unwanted energy?

Contact me to learn how at
virginia@soulgoals.com

I help women to tune into their true Selves, see life clearly and live their personal and professional dreams.

Copyright © 2022 Soulgoals, All rights reserved.

Advertisement

An Eclipse, Hurricane Harvey & a Bigger Design

August 28, 2017

IMG_0863 (2)

Nature has her way of clearing energy, including that which hibernates unseen for centuries from wars and negativity. Wind and water through floods and rains are some methods she uses to purify as well as encourage people to make changes.

It’s been described to me this way. The planet is a living organism, and nature is like a farmer rotating her crops. There are times we must look for a different place to grow, higher ground.

Speaking of energy, the power of supportive thoughts and prayers makes a difference.

It’s a good time to take a moment now to send positive energy.

In one week, we’ve seen changes from a total eclipse to Hurricane Harvey.

At the beginning of the week, people’s differences evaporated as they came together during a total eclipse.

Days later, differences cease to exist once more as people risk their lives to help friends and total strangers in the worse disaster Texas has seen.

For every experience, however calamitous, there’s always a silver lining. 

While living in New York City, I wondered what could cause people there to shift their attitudes and come together. When 9/11 came along, I got my answer. As we witnessed the worst of humanity, we also saw its best as the world pulled together in support.

Amidst the shock and devastation caused by Harvey, we see courage, selflessness, kindness, caring, respect, compassion, love and people helping people. Humanity at its best.

It often takes things to get really bad before we refocus on what’s real and truly important.

Through crises, we role model to ourselves behaviors that we can continue to choose on a daily basis.

Opinionated soap boxes and self-serving, judgmental attitudes seem petty. Past worries become small.

You’ve experienced challenges; some were life-changing.

Maybe your material things got shuffled around, and life didn’t turn out the way you expected (if that’s even possible for anyone). Your struggles stretched you to the max. The mirror of how you saw yourself was shattered.

The master gardener of life tilled your fields making room for different crops. Better crops.

Look at a current challenge in your business or life.

Step back and put things in perspective. Maybe you have to take so many steps back to get a better view that you feel like you’re falling off a cliff.

If you let go of your preconceived ideas, can you see a bigger design?

You’re learning something. Dodged a bullet you didn’t know was coming. Made changes you prayed for but didn’t know how to make. You grew.

Use your experiences as a course correct for your business, work and life instead of letting them beat you down.

To see a more immense picture, realize that you’re on a rock orbiting a star called our sun that’s 93 million miles away while spinning at nearly 1000 miles an hour. 

By doing so, you can feel something more vast than everyday life as well as your place in the universe.

Put on your energetic, eclipse glasses, see the sun and be open to receive inspired “soulutions.”


P.S. Know someone who might
enjoy reading this? Please forward.

I work with people, at any age,
who choose to share their gifts
or business in a BIGGER way
but don’t know how, feel stuck
or would benefit from new tools
or support.

I help them be richly compensated
doing what they love by aligning
with their Soul’s goals.

Copyright © 2017 Resolved for Results, All rights reserved

My Gift to You

December 19, 2016

christmas-gifts

Dear Friend,

My gift to you is one I give but only you can allow yourself to receive.

My gift to you is Peace and Joy.

Peace in your heart where nobody or nothing disturbs you.

Peace that comes from not judging others or yourself lest you be judged.

Peace that comes from not participating in criticism by speaking or listening to it.

Peace that comes from not taking on world problems and carrying them as your burden.

Peace that comes from putting life in perspective and not letting the little stuff bother you – and it’s all little stuff.

Peace that comes from compassion that others are doing the best they can even if it doesn’t meet your standards or if you don’t feel satisfied with whatever they have to give.

Peace that comes from making a decision to feel good instead of focusing on irritations, challenges and who done you wrong.

Peace that comes from choosing to stop worrying and living in fear but instead trusting in a Divine Presence that’s on your side, got your back and helps you to pave your future.

Peace that comes from kindness: kind words, kind actions, kind thoughts, kind intentions, kind feelings.

Peace that comes from the spirit of Christmas.

Peace that starts with you and spreads to the world.

And when the veils of illusion that cloud your Peace are replaced by Love, Joy fills your heart.

Believe that more Peace is available for you in this very moment.

Everyday you experience one or more moments of Peace and Joy, like when you see a baby, kitten, puppy or beautiful sunset.

So you know the feeling of Peace.

Simply expand on that, a little more each day.

Just like turning on a radio station, you can align your frequency to send and receive Peace and Joy.

It’s easier now to do this by tuning into the spirit of Christmas, whatever your personal beliefs, because Peace, Joy and Love are very much in the air.

May you drink deeply of this wonderful elixir of the Soul.

Enjoy your gifts!

With gratitude,

Virginia

Copyright © 2016 Virginia Goszewska. All rights reserved. Can be shared in its entirety.

THE CAT (LITTER) BURGLAR!

November 2, 2013

??????????Let’s say you’re a cat.  Like a good kitty, you do your duty in a litter box and then leave to do other important cat business – like sleep. Later, as nature demands, you return to the box, and your signature kitty bon bons are gone! You might think someone stole my poop. From your human servants’ point of view, they’re doing their duty by removing yours.

Life. Are you living it or is it a living hell? It depends on your perspective.

In the past, I embraced a popular belief: you spot it; you got it. Aka: if you point your finger at someone, there are three fingers pointing back at you. While this is often true, it’s hard to believe an infinite God has limited life to only one reason for why all things happen.

I used to psyche myself out when I believed everything is a reflection of me. When street lights flickered as I walked by, I thought my inner light was on the fritz, and my self-confidence fluttered.  After discussing this with a mentor, he pointed out that the world doesn’t revolve around me.

Wiser, when this phenomena happened again, I noticed that street light poles have numbers and reported those that needed new bulbs.

This awakening may be a relief, especially for those in abusive relationships searching for how they’re a schmuck, too. The lesson may be that you’re not a sicko. The cad may be teaching you to find your inner cojones and not allow others to manipulate you into feeling inferior because of their controlling tactics.

It also works when people phone and assume you have a responsibility to listen to their incessant fears or problems.

When it becomes evident they want an audience and someone to rescue them from their own negativity instead of changing, it’s not a lack of compassion to cancel membership from the Dump-of-Collecting-Others’-Pain Club. I mean, would you open the door to your home to let someone unload their garbage? Why allow others to dump their emotional junk… except fear of their reaction that there’s something wrong with you?

Here’s a perspective:

If you think you’re usually the one who’s wrong, it’s probably them.

If you think others are usually the ones who are wrong, it’s probably you.

How’s your perspective working for you? Don’t let your beliefs or others’ opinions deter you from trusting your inner voice and truth. Then again, if you think the world centers around you, you won’t really care.

WHEN BUTTONS ARE PUSHED

March 25, 2011

 Have you noticed people’s buttons getting pushed lately? Some respond with anger, frustration or depression. Others find that finger pointing, denial and avoidance are easier than talking things through.

 Opportunities abound to deal with issues, but some prefer to ignore the elephant in the room. It would take more than new glasses to correct that vision.

 Changing perspective helps: step back emotionally and observe in a detached way. This reminds you not to take it personally. But what should you do about it?

 Ask yourself: Is there something to get out of it, something to learn? Or is the point to get out of it and leave?

 And what’s the best action to take? This depends on the circumstances. But driving yourself bonkers and making yourself wrong only leads to a dead-end street.

 A lovely woman sent me a very ugly email. She wrote about demonic forces and people we once knew. She couldn’t be friends with me anymore because I was still associated with them, even though I wasn’t for years.

 Weeks later she apologized. Because of past injustices inflicted on her by this group, her deep pain was triggered. She obviously wasn’t herself when she wrote it.

 The point? I got out of it lessons of compassion; forgiveness; grace; and not judging as people make mistakes.

The action? Let go of the past and move on. We renewed our friendship.

 A few months later she sent another email explaining how she couldn’t be my friend because of my involvement with these same people.  

 The point? Get out of it. When people create too much drama and repeat patterns that they’re not shifting, it’s often best to step back.

The action? Don’t respond. Bless the situation and relationship and let them go.

 Here are tips on what you can do when buttons are pushed. Oh well, I can honestly say I’ve learned each one by doing the opposite.

 You can choose to push the easy button instead by using the following:

  1. Breathe deeply in a relaxed way.
  2. Step back emotionally and observe rather than become enmeshed with the story.
  3. Listen to what’s being expressed and understand their perspective.
  4. Let go of a need to be heard, validated and to express your viewpoint.
  5. Ask yourself that even if you don’t like it: Why is it essential that others should think the way you think they should?
  6. Tune in to your gut – what do you feel is true and the best action to take?

 “Forgive them for they know not what they do.” Then take action.

 Warning: using these tips will not give you the emotional exhilaration received from feeling right; trying to fix or rescue people; feeling victimized; having your ego stroked; expressing anger; trying to control; or the comfort of familiarity from reliving your sad story.

 It will:

  • Bring you peace of mind and heart
  • Awaken you to greater wisdom and awareness
  • Honor others even if you’re sure they’ve lost their mind
  • Reclaim your time and energy to enjoy life and pursue your goals
  • Bring you better results in the long run.

 My cousin just called. “Be sure to tell people that everyone needs some silly in their lives and that laughter is the best medicine.” Thanks, Sharon, for the best ideas. Don’t take things too seriously. It’s all good.