| A woman I’ve known for decades, who used to be very involved with a spiritual practice, has been sending toxic emails.
She doesn’t check information to see if it’s true. Or they’re about disgruntled people who are challenged with a world that changed. Or she’ll take a positive message and skew it to be negative. And, I suppose, there are some valuable ideas, but to find them means wading through venom.
I replied to one of her emails that this is a season of unconditional love, and a way to it is being non-judgmental.
She answered, “Judgmental, unconditional love, spiritual beliefs… I definitely don’t fall under the PC situation… I have to keep it real for me, my truth. It may ruffle some people’s feathers but that’s what this world is for, experiences and finding out what we need to find out.”
Bah humbug. The spirit of Christmas is now just another way of being politically correct.
Gee, and here I thought that, underneath it all, the world is for Love.
How does her worldview affect her?
In other emails, she shared that she can get depressed.
Yet, she feels compelled that others see life through her passionate yet angry rants – under the guise of keeping it real and telling her truth.
In the past, I would listen endlessly to people’s sad stories and emotionally charged viewpoints. I thought I was helping by holding space for them to share and be heard.
I’ve since learned that an extended focus on what doesn’t work is a disservice and adds fuel to a perspective that caused them distress. It only helps them to pick up momentum toward what they don’t like, which affects their health, finances, relationships or happiness.
This includes not validating sob stories I might conjure up about what I don’t like in my life or what’s not working the way I think it should.
If gently redirecting the conversation doesn’t work, I do what I can to exit with grace and ease.
My clients learn how to notice resistance and shift it, too.
To live with good feeling mojo is a simple concept. Feel good.
The more you think and feel good, the better your life becomes… your dreams magically start coming true.
This weekend, I had the privilege of being invited on a trip to enjoy rock art (pictographs the ancients painted on cave walls).
Although we were rained out from that part of our trip, we enjoyed a wonderful walk, a night in a cabin perched above the lower Pecos River plus a day in Mexico.
I listened to stories of how the rock art and area in and around Seminole Canyon State Park in south Texas transformed my friend after a personal family tragedy.
Since then, not only is she deeply passionate about rock art, she breathes a respect and reverence for life.
As a result, she’s created a loving life in alignment with her values and goals.
Your TIP is to observe your thinking and notice how it’s affecting you.
I’ll give you a BIG hint.
If there are parts of your life and business you don’t like as well as how it’s affecting you, observe what you’re thinking and feeling.
I know it can seem crazy, that forces beyond your control are the real culprit, but your energy is at the core. Like energy attracts like energy. Only you choose your perspective.
The good news is that wherever you are and for however long it took you to get here, regardless of how hopeless or frustrating aspects of your life, finances, business, relationships or health may seem at times, you can change it.
Look for what brings you joy instead of addictively focusing on anxiety, pain, suffering, who done you wrong or who’s doing something wrong.
This includes what feels unchangeable, like actor Michael J. Fox who went from having “everything” to having Parkinson’s.
He turned it around from the worse experience to the best wake up call. It changed his life for the better.
P.T. Barnum went bankrupt and didn’t enter the circus business until age 60.There goes the “I’m too old” argument of limitation.
By 1983, the millions made by boxer, heavyweight champion and Olympic gold medalist George Foreman were almost gone. He turned it around. In 2014, Foreman topped The Richest list of top athlete entrepreneurs of all time.
What isn’t working for you?
You can realign your thinking and feeling so your biggest challenge becomes your biggest asset.
You’ll feel happier, too.
By the way, I just returned from a Christmas concert. At the end, the chorus formed a circle around the entire audience and sang, “Let there be peace on earth, and let it begin with me.” It’s quite a concept, especially during the holiday season. |
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