YOU DON’T OWN ME

While driving, a friend told me that he had to pull over to the side of road to scream at his thoughts to shut up. It reminds me of these lyrics: “You don’t own me. I’m not just one of your many toys… And don’t tell me what to do. And don’t tell me what to say… So just let me be myself. That’s all I ask of you.”

Few welcome being controlled, yet most are controlled by feelings and thoughts they don’t want. Who hasn’t been plagued by beating themselves up with worry and fear over money; stress about time or relationships; grief; suffering over the way they look or feel; confusion over what to do; sadness or countless other ways of feeling bad? That’s why many turn to drugs, alcohol, food, and blaming others.

What to do? Gotta DO something. Ah yes, the default response: analyze, take time to process, wrap your brain around it or intellectually understand.

But here’s the trickster’s game. Because our computer/ brain was never programmed with how to get rid of these feelings and thoughts, we end up feeling worse because we can’t find answers by looking there. Or we get ideas that we can’t make work… but we keep trying anyway. As a client said, it’s like going to a dry well looking for a drink of water, and the well is toxic anyway.

Regardless, most have a habit of trying to figure out how to let go of the way they feel, and they often can’t allow themselves to hear anything that doesn’t center around mental solutions. If you’ve done this, it’s an indicator that you’ve given your power to your ego to control you, own you, instead of claiming mastery of your life.

Results? As like attracts like, if you’re feeling negative you’ll attract more negativity. Positive attracts positive.

If you feel unwanted emotions, who’s having you feel this way? They may have started with childhood messages or emerged because of circumstances, but there’s no one in your head telling you to think or feel this way.

As you’re the one who’s doing it, you CAN choose to do something differently.

Before you start beating yourself up about having beaten yourself up, there’s NOT something pathetically wrong with you. It’s the way the ego works, and we all have one. BUT IT DOESN’T HAVE TO CONTROL YOUR LIFE, MAKE YOU FEEL MISERABLE, DRIVE YOU NUTS OR HOLD YOU BACK FROM MAKING YOUR DREAMS COME TRUE!

Everything is energy, and the energy from thoughts or feelings can be released. They’re only feelings. They don’t have to own you.

Years ago while we were talking, a friend of mine felt anxiety about her upcoming divorce. I suddenly felt anxiety in my gut, but hers was gone. I said I didn’t want it and gave it back to her. We laughed as we bounced it back and forth between us before deciding to let it go. In other words, we could control the presence and absence of this gut-wrenching feeling which meant we could simply let it go. This includes any feeling! You can do the same.

Instead of acting helpless in the grips of Robo-Ego, know that you’re in charge and feelings can leave.

Here are a few tips:

  • If you want or need something, you’re coming from lack. You’ll be perpetually in a place of wanting instead of having what you choose.
  • What you resist persists. Although it sounds counter-intuitive, if you don’t like something, you’re holding onto it.
  • When you let go of trying to control, wanting validation or desiring safety, you can have them.

Ever notice when men or women want a relationship? The objects of their desire want to run. Same thing with money, health or anything.

The freedom everyone longs for breezes in when we let go because then we allow our spirit, our wise self within, to be in charge. It can happen in seconds not years. But we block ourselves from having what we really, really want when we clutch onto yucky feelings in our chest or gut or being stuck in our heads.

There are underlying beliefs we’ve tucked away that impact us, but they can be prompted to surface and be released. Everyone has the ability to let go although some resist. So, we come back to who owns you? You DO have a choice.

Because the ego is at the core of all the lack of success and suffering we experience, I’m more than happy to share phenomenally effective tools I’ve recently learned. These allow you to unravel patterns and release the ego’s incessant drone of control, disapproval and creating insecurity so instead you experience true freedom and make your dreams come true.

What would feel better? Feeling anxiety or having peace? Wanting success or having success?

If you’d like to learn more about letting go so you can master your feelings and have what you really, really want, please contact me by either:

  • any of my current ways of contact you already have OR
  • leaving me a comment after this post

I received this email from Kathryn Brown, CEO of Adventure Más describing results from a recent VIP session (She creates zip lines and more. How cool is that?)

Here’s a practical demonstration of what letting go can do about relationships and money:

Toward the end of my second time participating in the Resolved for Results (RFR) course, I decided to try one of Virginia’s sessions designed to help clear the ego of its default “methods of operation.”

At first I resisted. I didn’t want to add anything more to my plate, even knowing that it would more than likely exponentially assist me in clearing old programs that were blocking my progress. I thought, “I can do this later.” It was really no surprise, given the success I had with RFR, when I witnessed the synchronicity of events on the day I agreed to do the session.

I realized when I arrived at Virginia’s that I had forgotten my card I had written my issues on for our session. No problem—Virginia picked up on the issues I had forgotten.

It was a great session and Virginia was very gracious with her time. It was sometime after I got home that I found the card I wrote my issues on and noticed my husband’s handwriting on the back of it. Although I hadn’t gone into any details about what I was going to talk about, he had picked up on many of the issues Virginia and I had discussed and very sensitively and lovingly addressed them bringing me to tears. The issues were about control and security although we had what I considered to be a good relationship.

One of the great blessings was realizing on a much deeper level that everything we think and feel about someone, they know, whether spoken or not. Our judgments have a big impact on our lives and can block our progress. I began to see how my judgments driven by ego, no matter how quickly I thought I let them go, were really hanging around. My need for control and security was larger than I had imagined.

Additionally, I had a business contract that was ready to renew. Not only did it renew but I was offered more money than before!

What I walked away with were skills that I can use in my everyday life when I catch myself in my own ego traps. I feel much more at peace in situations and very much at ease with who I am. I’m comfortable with my need for control and security at times—I just love them unconditionally and release them unconditionally. I have learned to let go of many things I had so tightly hung onto out of an unconscious fear. The world keeps spinning but I don’t have to. I would recommend this session to anyone whether you think you are “ready or not”!

Kathryn Brown
President & CEO of Adventure Más

Again, if you’d like to learn more about letting go so you can master your feelings and have what you really, really want in life, please contact me by either:

  • any of my current ways of contact you already have OR
  • leaving me a comment after this post
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